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My gut just told me not to give her the money. I doubt she would lend me this type of money if I asked her.
I expect she might send me some more scathing texts like how I'm such a bad friend, how I don't trust her, how I insulted her by talking about signing notes,etc. Frankly I feel I never want to see her again or speak to her. I know that might be mean. But I felt it was very arrogant to ask me for that kind of money and almost expect and assume I would say "of course." - and not even expect to be paid back? She even thanked me "in advance." "Oh and thanks in advance." really....I don't want to speak to her, eat out with her, no more movies...I don't think I should even answer the phone if she calls. She needs some time to think about her behavior.
Had she signed that note and you had given her the money you'd just be standing in a long line of creditors and would never get it back even then.
Had she signed that note and you had given her the money you'd just be standing in a long line of creditors and would never get it back even then.
Poor money manager - poor judgement.
Of course. You're right<!> I hear stories all the time how siblings feud forever over these things. Parents and children. In-laws. Every time Judge Judy or some other court show goes on, you have lawsuits where money was loaned and never returned. I know all this. She thought mentioning "but we've know each other 37 yrs" is supposed to make me feel ashamed or bad?
I really never said no, I just gave her certain conditions that I knew would make the loan unpalatable.She reacted exactly like I figured she would. She was extremely offended by the terms. My first instinct was to fire off some texts. I saved them but never sent them. The damage is already done. What is me telling her off going to accomplish at this point?
What strikes me as weird about this friend of yours was that she never explained the situation to you and gave you a chance to offer a loan...or not. Her entitlement is breathtaking.
When I was single and I'd just bought my condo, I had some sudden and unexpected expenses. I was telling this to a friend and he offered to loan me some cash. I took him up on it but insisted on a short repayment term. I even printed payment coupons on my dot matrix printer.
Loan was repaid on time, with interest. But ask people for money? Never.
Even if she apologizes to me, and she's too smug for that, the "friendship" is not the same now. I won't go out and eat with her, or see movies or anything else. Maybe...maybe- I'll speak to her over the phone for 10 minutes once every 6 months.Maybe that. No more outings..seriously. She's a real piece...
Why would you be going out to eat with her or movies? You already said her credit card was declined at the restaurant.
She should be eating at home and getting movies at the local library for FREE, not spending any money when she is asking for money from you or anyone else.
Oh but she did explain it to me. I didn't like the explanation. It made HER look irresponsible. Her lengthy pitiful text said it's the end of the month and by 1st of April, she has "all these automatic payments that she just can't delay." But because she's in the process of applying for that home equity loan, she has to show the bank that she pays on time and her accounts look great, etc. " I've been hearing this repetitive sad story about this loan for over a year already, OK!! IF she was approved, - Why is she jamming up all the credit cards and then while eating out, her card gets declined? Because she's responsible with her money? She makes about 80,000/year. But yet she can't qualify for a 100,000- 250,000 loan? She claimed she has amazing credit. Ok maybe all that is true. But why is it MY problem that she can't budget, figure all this out? She bought a new SUV car less than a year ago. She had a car before, nothing wrong with it. She went out on some spree and bought all the Apple toys out there. They have 3 tvs, all of them Apple-run, she has 3 ipads. Some for the kids. Do they really need that? She has an iPod. She just got a brand new iPhone. Everything is about Apple in that house. Really?? - But then she has to ask me for $1,000?
IT's ridiculous. And the house renovation is A MONEY PIT.
She wanted to put a pool in the backyard.She fixated on that last year.Then it was all about a jacuzzi/hot tub. This is in New York, not California or Florida where homes are spacious and come with pools. She's not married to a doctor or man with a 7 figure income. She's a 51 yr old single mother with 3 young kids and 2 non working adults in the home. If you want to live like you make 6 or 7 figures, and you're a woman, you need to work on those goals earlier in life. YES you need to marry that kind of guy, if you want that lifestyle. But what is going on now...I think maybe she's borderline...or on some kind of drugs/addiction. She's not rational.
It sounds like you are struggling with a bit of guilt for not GIVING her a grand.. Don't. What about you? You may have the money now but what about next year - 2 years from now?5 years from now?
After reading about all her purchases you had better never loan her money - any amount of money.
It sounds like you are struggling with a bit of guilt for not GIVING her a grand.. Don't. What about you? You may have the money now but what about next year - 2 years from now?5 years from now?
After reading about all her purchases you had better never loan her money - any amount of money.
Maybe that's why I'm so upset and mad. Because I know it's nervy to be so bad with managing money yet come to me, to ask ME for money. Why, is it because I'm good at not having alot and managing it? So if she screws me over and never pays me back...it won't kill me? I'll just "manage my poor old self"? it's like what, I won't miss it as much? Please explain the reasoning to me. I just don't get it. "How can Canaletto miss what she's never had..." Take some more from the poor so you can buy some more junk and bloat yourself some more??
Yes. I am struggling with a little bit of guilt. 37 yrs is a long time to know somebody. Her mother and mine were good friends for many years. But rational wisdom dictates: I'm not working right now.She's had the same job for over 15 years. She makes a really good salary. She's smug about it. I never asked her for help in my life. I don't like to owe $ to people who are ***holes. And I don't like smug people because they make more than me and more than others. And they keep bragging it.
If she was to pay it back April 8, that is like a week, why cant she wait a week and get her check to get the money she needs.???? She could even hold off the mafia for one week, what is the urgency that she needs the money right now, sounds really fishy.
Does she have anything she can pawn? Or how about a car title loan? We recently pawned some jewelry for under 10 days, there was no interest, just a $10 service charge! Of course, after 10 days, those interest rates really rack up, and I would never suggest a car title loan except under the most dire of circumstances. But if she's able to pay you back in a week, she can pay back the pawn or car title loan.
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Take some more from the poor so you can buy some more junk and bloat yourself some more?? 
