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She is kind of like the seniors in the subsidized senior places I live in. They will blow their social security checks on cigarettes and going out to drink at the local bar, and to gamble at the casino. Then, they want free rides, etc., from those of us who budget for a used car with the same amount of income.
It's not my job to provide the lifestyle they want, while denying myself. I finally learned to just say, "i don't give people rides. I got burned out on it." And if they push, I turn and look them in the eye and tell them I get $890/month SSI, how much do you make? Then they shut up. Everyone in this building makes at least what I make and most probably get more. If you want to use your budget to play blackjack and now you can't afford cigarettes, or a car to get you to the food bank - oh well. It's sure not my problem.
Your friend is like the above, only she blows her money on going out to eat and Ipods, then instead of re-thinking her budget, expects you to fill the gap so she can have what she wants, without having to be responsible.
Maybe that's why I'm so upset and mad. Because I know it's nervy to be so bad with managing money yet come to me, to ask ME for money. Why, is it because I'm good at not having alot and managing it? So if she screws me over and never pays me back...it won't kill me? I'll just "manage my poor old self"? it's like what, I won't miss it as much? Please explain the reasoning to me. I just don't get it. "How can Canaletto miss what she's never had..." Take some more from the poor so you can buy some more junk and bloat yourself some more??
Yes. I am struggling with a little bit of guilt. 37 yrs is a long time to know somebody. Her mother and mine were good friends for many years. But rational wisdom dictates: I'm not working right now.She's had the same job for over 15 years. She makes a really good salary. She's smug about it. I never asked her for help in my life. I don't like to owe $ to people who are ***holes. And I don't like smug people because they make more than me and more than others. And they keep bragging it.
She does sound like a lot of people who have a similar makeup. They rationalize things and they don't respect frugal or responsible people. We don't use our money "properly" for excessive things, so we can just give it to them since we just have it lying around (even if we don't) not overspending it to feed our self esteem. They don't care if you are poorer than them, if they think the money is there at all, they need it more than you do. Selfish is probably the nicest word to describe them.
YES. That' right<>?! I never said no, did I? I said to her "sign this, and pay up in cash on the day you said you'll get your paycheck.. Look, if she really needed that money, you know she would have signed the paper. But that biotch flipped out on me. I think our "30 yr friendship" is over. It's ok. Now she won't ever ask me for money again, she knows I don't play. Had I given her $, this would have set a precedent to ask in the future again.
This goes to show that not all employed people have good credit or are good at managing their $. How do you eat out and give a credit card that gets declined? Don't you check your $ on your account before you go out to eat with your friend? Did she expect me to pick up the tab?? She just pulled out another one - but lots of excuses and stories there then. Nobody forced her to gut the house and do all the work.It was unnecessary. MONEY PIT. She also has kids from different fathers and a brother who doesn't work who lives with her. He's a loafer. Aren't all these biotches the same?
Why do people cut it that close and still go out to eat?
I agree with this. Repeated texts without calling, and asking for a large amount of money - then blows up when you ask her to sign a note? That smacks of desperation to me.
I don't buy the house reno excuse either. Who starts a project then gets so overextended they can't eat out?
We've known each other for 30 years.We're not THAT close where she can ask me for 1,000.She's a fulltimer who holds the same job for over 15 years. She's a nurse who makes 75 to 80,000/yr. She's a bit smug about that, btw. She inherited a house that she's gutted and finished remaking. Bank wouldn't give her a large loan for that job. She jammed up all her credit cards with the construction $ for the house. I've been unemployed for 3 years and she knows all this. I sold some real estate in my family and been living off proceeds. I'm not rich, I'm not a nurse. She had the b***s to TEXT me, and ask me for 1,000 loan and would repay it on April 8th "when she gets her next check." I never loaned that kind of money to anybody. I told her I would give it to her if she signed a note for it and would repay it in its entirety in cash on April 8th.She blew her top. Said she'll "pass on my offer." She saw me this past Saturday, when we ate out. Why couldn't she ask me to my face for the money? Or call me? TEXT me? Her credit card was declined at the restaurant and she had to use another one. That was a red flag to me that things aren't going well for her. She must think I'm a real sucker to just hand over 1,000 and not even have her sign for it.
People have lost friendships and gone to small claims over a lot less than that. I"m not stupid.
Who cares why. Just be happy she declined to borrow money.
Texting someone you know for 37 yrs when you're 51 and I'm 45 - well, why are you scared to call me? We're adults. We're not kids. You can text me and ask for $20. But for 1 grand you really need to call and speak to me or better yet, look me in the eye and ask me. This is about presentation style..social skills. Doesn't mean I'll oblige you and loan it to you.
Who cares why. Just be happy she declined to borrow money.
LOL.Omg. That's hysterical. If she had accepted now...I would have had to say...well...let me think about it. I"ll get back to you. Then it would have been on me to decline the following day.LOL
LOL.Omg. That's hysterical. If she had accepted now...I would have had to say...well...let me think about it. I"ll get back to you. Then it would have been on me to decline the following day.LOL
2 words: Lending Club!
Let her deal with them, they are precisely out there to "help" those people...
I'm kind of clueless. Lending club..what is that all about? please don't make fun of me am I missing some humor?
It's a sort of peer to peer lending company.
They put in touch people who want to take a risk by lending money with other people (or small businesses) who need money, up to $40k. The interest rate is "personalized" and varies depending on your situation.
So no, it's not a joke, it's a very serious solution, to a very serious problem for you friend.
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Take some more from the poor so you can buy some more junk and bloat yourself some more?? 
They don't care if you are poorer than them, if they think the money is there at all, they need it more than you do. Selfish is probably the nicest word to describe them.
If she had accepted now...I would have had to say...well...let me think about it. I"ll get back to you. Then it would have been on me to decline the following day.LOL
am I missing some humor?
