Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seems to be a contradiction...cell phones are so great because they help everyone do everything but then we can't use them to send a quick text before hanging out? Huh?
It was fine to do when I was kid ("can so&so come out to play?") but as an adult I'd never do it. And certainly not within the past 20 years! I wouldn't want anyone to drop in on me either, unexpected, unless it's urgent. Now, if I'm outside of my house, getting the mail, or working in the yard, that's fine, because I'm at least dressed.
Where I come from, if it's during dinner, we'd say "we've got plenty, feel free to join us, we'd love to have you" vs "we're having dinner, you're bothering us." It's called hospitality.
Where I come from, you definitely don't drop in during mealtimes looking to get fed. It's called being mindful that the family might not *have* enough to feed you without going short themselves. (People can be on budgets, after all.)
Scam artists.
People running for local political offices. (Wait - maybe those are the same thing.)
Door to door sales people.
Kids selling stuff for school.
Next door neighbors with some sort of question about a property line, a tree, the HOA, or some sort of neighborhood something or other.
I open the door for the last two. The others - no way. Basically, if you're over 16 and I don't know you - I'm not opening the door.
As for friends or famiy dropping by - I can't remember the last time a friend or family member came by without calling or texting first. Reading this thread makes me even more grateful for their good manners.
^Very well put, Kathryn!
That's how I handle things, too.
I, too, only open the door for a neighbor. If I recognize the kids who are selling stuff, I will open the door, as I'm always glad to help out a neighborhood kid. When my daughter was young and would sell stuff for band fundraisers, the neighbors would help her out. Now it's our time to pay it forward.
Like you, people that I know don't just drop in on me. They know that I would never do that to them either.
Scam artists.
People running for local political offices. (Wait - maybe those are the same thing.)
Door to door sales people.
Kids selling stuff for school.
Next door neighbors with some sort of question about a property line, a tree, the HOA, or some sort of neighborhood something or other.
I open the door for the last two. The others - no way. Basically, if you're over 16 and I don't know you - I'm not opening the door.
As for friends or famiy dropping by - I can't remember the last time a friend or family member came by without calling or texting first. Reading this thread makes me even more grateful for their good manners.
In my town, it's always and only 2 things: kids raising money for something, or proselytizers. On rare occasion--someone looking for work (yard work, or whatever). I never open the door if I'm not expecting anyone.
Trouble with not opening the door - in some areas that might be a criminal checking to see if you are home before they break in.
And as someone has said, if you have windows near your front door, the visitor can easily see that you are in the house ignoring them. I don't know if I could do that...
I'm all for hospitality, but I don't always have more than the portion for myself and my husband. What then?
Not to mention even most people who insist on dropping in know the rule not to ever drop in at mealtime expecting someone to feed you.
To clarify, and I mean this in a gentle tone (seriously), it isn't that someone would drop in expecting a meal, heck no. I'm saying that the way we grew up, people we knew, many times if you dropped by and they were eating, whereas people nowadays would take great offense tot hat, with the people we knew their response instead was "we were just about to sit down, why don't you join us?" If you said "it's OK I'm not hungry" or "I wasn't expecting a free meal, I was just stopping in to see how you were doing, I can come back later after you guys have eaten, I don't want to interrupt"" the reply would still be "oh no, it's OK, hey, we've got plenty, no way we're going to eat all this food, by all means, join us" and they really meant it.
That's all I was saying.
I do understand wanting time to be alone. There have been times in the past that my wife would invite over our nieces/nephews and I didn't feel like it, and this was despite all that you've heard me say here and despite the fact that I was given advance notice. I just felt like it being us 4 because our niece-nephews sometimes tend to be "high maintenance" entertainment, and they would be around not just for 15-20 minutes or whatever, but for the entire rest of the day into overnight. It was either that or it was that I wanted time alone with my wife and it works fine with us 4 because our kids do well playing independently whereas at that time our nieces/nephews, despite being older, tended to be quite demanding. You get tired of saying over and over 'go play with your cousins."
"I do understand wanting time to be alone. There have been times in the past that my wife would invite over our nieces/nephews and I didn't feel like it, and this was despite all that you've heard me say here and despite the fact that I was given advance notice. I just felt like it being us 4 because our niece-nephews sometimes tend to be "high maintenance" entertainment, and they would be around not just for 15-20 minutes or whatever, but for the entire rest of the day into overnight. It was either that or it was that I wanted time alone with my wife and it works fine with us 4 because our kids do well playing independently whereas at that time our nieces/nephews, despite being older, tended to be quite demanding. You get tired of saying over and over 'go play with your cousins.""
Sounds like it's still all about YOUR wishes. What about if your *wife* wanted time alone? With you or maybe by herself?
Back to the original question ... I NEVER drop in on anyone without prior notice and I absolutely expect the same courtesy . I don't have to explain myself or justify it to anyone . That's just the way I roll .
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
