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You said he's older than you. I read this as an older guy who is well aware that he's older than you, so is afraid to make a move, but is still hopeful.
I've been in this situation. It's one-sided and awkward. I handled it poorly and basically ghosted my friend.
I was actually kind of angry because he was one of my best friends and it was ruined.
If it's making you uncomfortable, I would talk to him about it, and be prepared to lose him as a friend.
Believe me, I have thought about being with him but he's a bit old for me and he tells me things about himself that makes me think he doesn't really have his $*** together. I also don't date friends.
Stop leading him on. Guys don't think the same way women do. He most likely thinks he has a chance with you and this is proven to him again and again whenever you hang out with him. To him, it feels like a date. You don't have to write him off as a friend but stop hanging out with him, especially alone.
Are you in your 20s or a younger person? As you get older, you'll begin to see things a bit differently - especially the dynamics between men and women.
No, I'm not reading more into it. That's the part that is confusing.
Every time I meet him he will verbally tell me how big of a crush he used to have on me when we first met. Maybe he doesn't like me that way anymore since it's been a long time ago but when I talk to him about my man problems, he'll sincerely listen and give me advice but then say something along the lines of "the guy for you is in front of you."
Sounds like the crush isn't just "used to"; it still is.
No, I'm not reading more into it. That's the part that is confusing.
Every time I meet him he will verbally tell me how big of a crush he used to have on me when we first met. Maybe he doesn't like me that way anymore since it's been a long time ago but when I talk to him about my man problems, he'll sincerely listen and give me advice but then say something along the lines of "the guy for you is in front of you."
I'm not stringing him along. I think he knows I don't like him and never will. I have never blatantly said that to him (and why would I???) but he's a smart guy... I'm sure he gets it. We have been friends long enough where we have both dated other people. We're already pretty distanced since we don't live in the same city. I like hanging out with him but I just wish he would stop openly drop hints.
And why is he a sucker???? I resent that. You're implying I have nothing to offer than my 'gina. We talk about everything.. He'll tells me problems about his family that I can relate to and we send each other texts just to say hi. We make each other feel less lonely in this cold world. I've never understood how people can just drop their friends.
Dumb and Dumber:
Lloyd: "What are my chances?"
Girl: "Not good"
Lloyd: "You mean not good like 1 out of 100?"
Girl: "I'd say more like 1 out of 1 million."
Lloyd: "... So you're telling me there's a chance! Yes!
It's hard for guys to get "the message".
But this situation seems to be YOU not getting his message of wanting to be with you.
Give him the cold hard truth. Not even 1 out of 1 million... Never.
We've been friends for years.. Every time we hang out he seems very direct about how he feels about me but doesn't act on it and isn't aggressive about it. For example, he'll say something like "I was in love with this girl.. I wanted to marry her.. You reminded me of her.." But he's very casual about it, like it's a matter of fact. This has been going on for years, I don't know why it's making me very uncomfortable now. It's always made me uncomfortable but I like him as a friend a lot. I probably even love him but not in that way. We've been talking on the phone since I moved to another city and we mentioned traveling together or him visiting me. I don't think that's a good idea even if nothing will probably happen..
Believe me, I have thought about being with him but he's a bit old for me and he tells me things about himself that makes me think he doesn't really have his $*** together. I also don't date friends.
I know he deeply cares about me as a person. He's always there for me, he's late sometimes but I know he'll come around. So I can't drop him
Yes you can. If you're not comfortable with him, you have every right to drop him. You don't owe him anything just because he cares about you, and you have the right to choose who is in your life.
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but I don't know what to do about this. He's a gentleman, never tried to take advantage of me, I know he wants what's best for me.. If I found another man I loved and whom made me happy, I know he would be a bit jealous but happy for me at the same time.
I think it helps we're not in the same city but every time I visit he'll say those things to me and then act like my friend. I don't even know if I should bring this up to him. I don't want him to feel weird around me.
It would be cold for her to just drop as him a friend just because she feels he likes him. If the OP was a true friend to him, she would still stick around with him at least as a friend unless it gets really disastrous. I don't think he is being too creepy or out of line from what I have read. It would be one thing if he was just an acquaintance then it would be different. It might be ok for her to distance herself from him then. But he is actually a friend. A true friend would not stop being friends with a guy friend if he had a crush on her unless it gets to the point where he is really out of control (texts her all the time, stands by her house waiting for her, etc.)
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