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he could just pack his stuff and leave and pay child support like millions of other dads.
There is nothing much you can do as long as he DOESN'T want to leave.
Why should he "leave and pay child support?" The mother does not work, and there is evidence she is abusive. He should file charges against her and obtain at least joint if not full custody.
How many other things in your sons life as an adult have you tried to help him with? My instinct says there have been many times you have tried to bail him out of situations, which is why he is unable to bail himself out of the situation now and the reason he got in it in the first place.
You notice the OP said, "What can I do?"
Here's a thought. Step aside and allow your son to become a man.
If I had to physically pull a person off another person, or heard of/witnessed such a thing...I'd be calling the police. Let them sort it out. Beware of crying wolf, though. If by any tiny chance, you're exaggerating any of this... ("you" meaning the general you, in any given person's situation), and that becomes evident, guess who's going to be branded the liar, unreliable and a whistle-blower?
Aside from that, what really can you do? Your son is an adult and making his own decisions. Believe it or not, though you see your son as being abused, he may actually resent your intrusion and then it will be you, not she, who's out the door. So tread carefully. He IS an adult. Remember that.
As for the child, suspect abuse? Call CPS. Again, make sure there's cause and it's not just your resentment and your wanting to get the mother in trouble or anything...because if so...boy howdy but that can get ugly and you'll have a son and grandchild you may never see again.
If you really suspect abuse don't hesitate, call the police, that is all you can do.
Why should he "leave and pay child support?" The mother does not work, and there is evidence she is abusive. He should file charges against her and obtain at least joint if not full custody.
I don't see why he can't just take the kid and leave. He's got the video to prove she's abusive. Does he have pictures of the other marks she left on other occasions?
I don't see why he can't just take the kid and leave. He's got the video to prove she's abusive. Does he have pictures of the other marks she left on other occasions?
But HE has to do this.
This is what I'm wondering too, especially since he wouldn't be entirely on his own (a factor that can keep some abused people in the home/nowhere to go, no support). He very obviously has the full support of his mother. In spades.
We don't know the whole situation here. Only the OP does. It almost feels like he doesn't want to leave as much as she (his mother) wants him to leave - again, simply because he certainly would have options, a place to go, I'm guessing care for his daughter (the OP...or at least she'd for sure figure out some way to help) and so on, in addition to a good chance of getting custody of the daughter (OP's grandchild) if all that's being said about this abuse is true.
Various things can keep an abused spouse in the home. Some of them are psychological. That could be a factor here. But in general simply not knowing where to turn and not wanting to be in a shelter can be a HUGE factor. I'm not seeing that here so I'm puzzled and am thinking we don't have all the info here.
As an aside, I am agog that while property was being destroyed and this man was being beaten on the head and his chest, rather than calling the police, these people were standing there with their phones, filming it. This is just me - but if I were literally terrified for my son's and infant grandchild's safety I wouldn't be standing there with a phone. I'd be calling for help. Stuff here just isn't adding up so the OP needs to take into account what's going on here, exactly as it's happening (not the Cliff's Notes we're getting, I get that it would be impossible to detail everything on some internet forum) and do what's in her power to do, and leave it to the son to do what's in his power to do...right now he is making a decision (not leaving IS a decision) and she can't change that decision for him.
I don't see why he can't just take the kid and leave. He's got the video to prove she's abusive. Does he have pictures of the other marks she left on other occasions?
But HE has to do this.
We're getting into legal issues now and we don't have the info to really know.
Mom says he is the father, son believes he is the father, but is his name on the birth certificate and is he legally recognized as the father? His legal rights and obligations hinge on his legal status and possibly paternity testing.
My son is 22 and has a girlfriend of over a yr who is 21. they have a 4 month old baby. They knew eachother a few months before she got pregnant. Since that day, she has been so verbally abusive to my son, so as her mother. They constantly are dishonest. The last week has been the worse ever, and I need to know as a mother, what are my rights towards doing something legal at her. She was mad at him last week, cause he got a refund..gave her half (she doesn't work), and wants another 1,000. Her and her mother are yelling at him telling him to give it to her. My son has financially supported her and their daughter since day one, and occasionally got stuck helping her mother. She told him to make a choice..either his family or them. he loves his daughter so much so is torn. But, back to last week. Cause he would not give her the money, she grabbed his neck, her mother had to pull her off, which cause extremely swollen and red welt scratches on his neck. And then a few days ago, she was mad cause he wanted to visit his sick grandma. She thru his xbox outside, broke it, then repeatedly punched him in the chest, and head. We do have this recorded on his phone. And once he went over after the next day to see his daughter, he had found her new carseat in the dumpster, because she wants nothing from me. My son is so depressed. She has physically & mentally been abusing him, and he won't do anything cause of his daughter. Which I do tell him constantly that she does not need to be around this. I'm tired of seeing the depression, and marks on him from her. What can I do? PS. She has done sooooo much more than this, but didn't want to get into it..HELP
Press charges against that psycho *****, especially since he will get in trouble for fighting back.
Op, you can't do anything but your son can. He needs to see a lawyer and get legal advice on what his rights are as a father. He may not want to leave his daughter alone with a psycho, for a mother.
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("you" meaning the general you, in any given person's situation), and that becomes evident, guess who's going to be branded the liar, unreliable and a whistle-blower?
