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View Poll Results: How would you end long distance FRIENDSHIP?
Tell her straight up 7 14.58%
Ignore contact or block 9 18.75%
Continue occassional banter at superficial level 32 66.67%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
Old 04-20-2016, 05:17 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,734,357 times
Reputation: 6214

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Just to be clear - this is just a friend of the same sex, nothing romantic. She lives in WA and I am in Fla, but we managed to stay friends over the years, although we have never met (we met online through our jobs). I feel the relationship has run it's course. It is usually she who will call or email. She is happily married, so it's not like she is all alone and has no one.


Anyways, what do I do? I don't want this to be too lengthy, but we are just very different people and we will never see each other (I don't fly and apparently she is not willing to come here, even when I have offered to pay).


The friendship is going on about five years now.


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Old 04-20-2016, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Seattle
1,651 posts, read 2,765,905 times
Reputation: 3021
Well, if she's that bad of a pen pal, and you don't want to keep in touch for professional reasons, then you can elect not to answer emails or phone calls, or you can just tell her that you won't be in contact in the future. I suppose you could try to arrange something more dramatic, but it seems pretty straightforward.
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Old 04-20-2016, 05:35 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,734,357 times
Reputation: 6214
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayela View Post
Well, if she's that bad of a pen pal, and you don't want to keep in touch for professional reasons, then you can elect not to answer emails or phone calls, or you can just tell her that you won't be in contact in the future. I suppose you could try to arrange something more dramatic, but it seems pretty straightforward.
Our communications are at home - I know longer work for that company. I tried ignoring emails for a few days and then she said she was getting worried and wished she had a relatives phone number so she could see if I wasn't dead. Then she sent a cute "I miss you" kitten card. At that point I responded and just said I had been busy.
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Old 04-20-2016, 06:06 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,262 posts, read 47,190,693 times
Reputation: 47173
IDK... I would not even consider someone I never met a friend.

I would tell her there will be no future contact, that there is no longer work to discuss (since you do not work for the same company any more).
Ignoring a problem does not make it go away....
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Old 04-20-2016, 06:09 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,734,357 times
Reputation: 6214
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
IDK... I would not even consider someone I never met a friend.

I would tell her there will be no future contact, that there is no longer work to discuss (since you do not work for the same company any more).
Ignoring a problem does not make it go away....
Our conversations have been on a personal level, unwork related in recent years. But nonetheless, I suppose you are right.
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Old 04-20-2016, 06:14 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
11,014 posts, read 17,392,455 times
Reputation: 44138
[quote=Pitt Chick;43783080]IDK... I would not even consider someone I never met a friend. QUOTE]

I have a lot of friends across the US and Canada that I've never met. But, like I said, they're still friends. Where is it written that you have to meet them in person?

Eeko, on your pole, I chose continue the banter. But let the correspondence take a while. When she writes, take 2 or 3 weeks to answer, even email. "Sorry I haven't written sooner but my job (kids, husband, etc.) has been driving me crazy and I haven't had any "me" time in a while.

Then take even longer to answer her next correspondence. When she calls, you have caller ID don't you? After a few unanswered calls and emails, surely she would get the hint.

Good luck!
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Old 04-20-2016, 06:27 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,262 posts, read 47,190,693 times
Reputation: 47173
Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post

I have a lot of friends across the US and Canada that I've never met. But, like I said, they're still friends. Where is it written that you have to meet them in person?
What?
I never said anything was written about that; I never even said that everyone should feel the same.
I DID say "I would not even consider someone I never met a friend." That is my personal opinion... not some universal rule.

Friends to me (stressing that so there is no confusion!) are people who if you call them asking them to come, they come. The rest are acquaintances.
YMMV.
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Old 04-20-2016, 06:33 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,734,357 times
Reputation: 6214
[quote=kygman;43783167]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
IDK... I would not even consider someone I never met a friend. QUOTE]

I have a lot of friends across the US and Canada that I've never met. But, like I said, they're still friends. Where is it written that you have to meet them in person?

Eeko, on your pole, I chose continue the banter. But let the correspondence take a while. When she writes, take 2 or 3 weeks to answer, even email. "Sorry I haven't written sooner but my job (kids, husband, etc.) has been driving me crazy and I haven't had any "me" time in a while.

Then take even longer to answer her next correspondence. When she calls, you have caller ID don't you? After a few unanswered calls and emails, surely she would get the hint.

Good luck!
I was just reading some articles and the consensus seems to be, that unless some betrayal or mistreatment was involved (which is not the case here, although she is fairly judgmental), to let it "die a natural death". Pretty much what you suggested.
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Old 04-20-2016, 06:44 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,199 posts, read 10,172,132 times
Reputation: 32137
Eeko - if you are like a lot of people you don't want to hurt her feelings. I would just space out the contact you have with her further and further and then when she asks you what is up you just tell her you feel the friendship has run its course.
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Old 04-20-2016, 07:34 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,734,357 times
Reputation: 6214
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
Eeko - if you are like a lot of people you don't want to hurt her feelings. I would just space out the contact you have with her further and further and then when she asks you what is up you just tell her you feel the friendship has run its course.
Sounds good.....
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