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Inspired by someone posting on another site about which gender having trouble apologizing, I came up with this:
If someone (can be anyone) either in real life or online wrongs you, hurts your feelings, etc. which would be worse to you?
a) The person refusing to apologizing and even justifying it (basically getting no apology at all even if you rightfully deserve it) OR
b) The person actually does apologizes but you can tell it was a fake, insincere apology or someone else forced him/her to apologize to you and so they did and suddenly they're trying to be cool with you but you know they still don't like you.
I had a guy online that did B long ago. Another guy told him to apologize to me but I didn't accept it. Personally, I disliked that guy more for that. I think b is worse to me. I'd rather get no apology at all than the person doing B.
Inspired by someone posting on another site about which gender having trouble apologizing, I came up with this:
If someone (can be anyone) either in real life or online wrongs you, hurts your feelings, etc. which would be worse to you?
a) The person refusing to apologizing and even justifying it (basically getting no apology at all even if you rightfully deserve it) OR
b) The person actually does apologizes but you can tell it was a fake, insincere apology or someone else forced him/her to apologize to you and so they did and suddenly they're trying to be cool with you but you know they still don't like you.
I had a guy online that did B long ago. Another guy told him to apologize to me but I didn't accept it. Personally, I disliked that guy more for that. I think b is worse to me. I'd rather get no apology at all than the person doing B.
Both are hurtful but ultimately the phony aspect of situation B makes it harder to swallow. I am a big fan of honesty. If a person does not want to apologize I'd rather they be honest rather then fake.
I think No Apology is worse. that means the person doesn't even see or acknowledge that an apology is called for. With the insincere apology, at least they are acknowledging that an apology is expected.
When I was a little kid and my parents forced me to apologize for something, even if I didn't feel internally that I had done wrong, it at least reinforced with me that others see the situation differently, and that at least one other person felt that what I had done warranted an apology.
To me, not having someone acknowledge at all that they have hurt me is worse than "I know what I did/said hurt you but I don't agree or don't care, but I'll say I'm sorry just to smooth things over."
A fake apology is much worse. Why even bother if it's not sincere? It's just adding insult to injury if the person isn't really sorry for what they did, but says a false and meaningless apology for whatever reason. No acknowledgement of having hurt someone is preferable to lying about regretting it IMO.
Your poll need a third, extremely maddening option:
Getting a sincere apology, but repeatedly.
Oh, I'm so, so sorry! Really, I didn't mean to be so thoughtless! I could kick myself....I'm really sorry!"
And the person goes on and on until you're looking for your B.B. gun.
On the other side of the coin:
My now-dead Monster-in-Law was a repeat apology expecter. Me, once I sincerely apologize, I'm done with the thing and you should be too.
LOL, have to agree with Zenstyle. That situation becomes annoying very quickly.
What's done is done.
On the poll though, a forced apology is not an apology at all. I don't want an apology unless it is true and heart-felt. We all make mistakes, but an insincere apology is as worthless as the air their lungs took in to vocalize it.
- Someone online once said to me, "If you think I owe you an apology, here it is." She really thought she was being magnanimous rather than offensive with her words. I didn't respond
- When someone says "I apologize but..." I know the apology is not sincere and stop listening.
- When someone is quick to make a fake apology, I suspect they get away with it often.
...and there's this. The only possible response to "I demand an apology!" is "kiss my ass."
How I do detest apology demanders! Especially to their kids. Hell will freeze over first.
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