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I don't know anything about the quality of advice you receive from your mother, but given that she has demonstrated that she can't keep a confidence I would be reluctant to tell her anything that you don't want the world to know.
I was just talking to my mother yesterday about hiring my brother's fiancee for a job. I said she should communicate with my brother and his fiancee about it, BUT first run it past me when she's about to do it.
The bold is where you went wrong.
You don't ask your mother to conduct a business transaction between you and your brother/his fiance. When you do, you run the risk of the message getting muddled and losing control. It's also very unprofessional. It's best to communicate directly.
As for hiring, you should advertise the job opening, collect resumes and applications, and conduct interviews. Invite your future SIL to apply for consideration. Then pick the best candidate.
You don't ask your mother to conduct a business transaction between you and your brother/his fiance. When you do, you run the risk of the message getting muddled and losing control. It's also very unprofessional. It's best to communicate directly.
As for hiring, you should advertise the job opening, collect resumes and applications, and conduct interviews. Invite your future SIL to apply for consideration. Then pick the best candidate.
This. I am at a loss to figure out why the OP did what she did. It's not the mother that has a problem communicating - it's the OP.
I was just talking to my mother yesterday about hiring my brother's fiancee for a job. I said she should communicate with my brother and his fiancee about it, BUT first run it past me when she's about to do it. She said it's not a good idea because things get tricky with In-Laws. So when she said that I realized I'm not so close with my brother and our relations just started getting better so I don't want to make matters worse by mixing business with his fiancee. So I said "Ok, you're right. Forget the whole thing. Don't communicate this idea to anyone." She says "Ok."
TODAY, I see my mother with my brother and his fiancee and guess what she do?
Me: *sees my brother and his fiancee* Oh hi bro. *greets fiancee*
Mother: Oh, you wanted to tell them about a job offer?
Me: . . . . . .
Mother: Oh, you don't want me to tell them?
Me:
Fiancee:
Me: Oh, um, yeah, well . . . *goes on to explain the job*
Now his fiancee is going to expect the job. I don't understand why my mother has no control over what she says in social interactions. She blurts stuff out all the time.
I wonder why your brother did not do the asking himself on behalf of his fiance. Perhaps he had a good reason not. You interfered.
Yeah, your mom was right from square one. She didn't want to get involved with your "orchestration" of a simple transaction and, as a mom in law myself, I don't blame her.
You really can't blame your mom on this one. What did you do to set that ball rolling in the first place?
What will you do in the future to prevent things like this happening?
People are going to act and react however they choose to. Your job is to not provide any ammo you don't want blowing up in your face.
Word of advice from someone who learned the hard way, if you don't want your mother blurting things out, then you don't need to tell her things. My mother couldn't keep her mouth shut if her life depended on it, so now I tell her nothing and I mean nothing.
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