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Old 04-24-2016, 04:13 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,279,089 times
Reputation: 13249

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Oh, I get it now.

Judging by your use of gifs instead of words (I HATE that - just say it!), you do not know how to communicate with anyone directly - except your mom.

Now you know what happens when you depend on someone else to do your talking for you.
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Old 04-24-2016, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,252 posts, read 12,967,886 times
Reputation: 54051
Never hire family or friends.
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Old 04-25-2016, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Vermont
11,760 posts, read 14,656,809 times
Reputation: 18529
I don't know anything about the quality of advice you receive from your mother, but given that she has demonstrated that she can't keep a confidence I would be reluctant to tell her anything that you don't want the world to know.
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Old 04-25-2016, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,562 posts, read 8,396,092 times
Reputation: 18799
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshFresh View Post
I was just talking to my mother yesterday about hiring my brother's fiancee for a job. I said she should communicate with my brother and his fiancee about it, BUT first run it past me when she's about to do it.
The bold is where you went wrong.

You don't ask your mother to conduct a business transaction between you and your brother/his fiance. When you do, you run the risk of the message getting muddled and losing control. It's also very unprofessional. It's best to communicate directly.

As for hiring, you should advertise the job opening, collect resumes and applications, and conduct interviews. Invite your future SIL to apply for consideration. Then pick the best candidate.
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Old 04-25-2016, 10:16 AM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
9,053 posts, read 17,201,105 times
Reputation: 15226
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan View Post
The bold is where you went wrong.

You don't ask your mother to conduct a business transaction between you and your brother/his fiance. When you do, you run the risk of the message getting muddled and losing control. It's also very unprofessional. It's best to communicate directly.

As for hiring, you should advertise the job opening, collect resumes and applications, and conduct interviews. Invite your future SIL to apply for consideration. Then pick the best candidate.
This. I am at a loss to figure out why the OP did what she did. It's not the mother that has a problem communicating - it's the OP.
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Old 04-25-2016, 10:30 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,290 posts, read 4,012,365 times
Reputation: 4313
yeah mothers No my mother doesn't do anything like that even if I ask her answer will be " heh me do tolk job nah you do it your self"
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Old 04-25-2016, 10:42 AM
 
5,455 posts, read 3,389,157 times
Reputation: 12177
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreshFresh View Post
I was just talking to my mother yesterday about hiring my brother's fiancee for a job. I said she should communicate with my brother and his fiancee about it, BUT first run it past me when she's about to do it. She said it's not a good idea because things get tricky with In-Laws. So when she said that I realized I'm not so close with my brother and our relations just started getting better so I don't want to make matters worse by mixing business with his fiancee. So I said "Ok, you're right. Forget the whole thing. Don't communicate this idea to anyone." She says "Ok."

TODAY, I see my mother with my brother and his fiancee and guess what she do?

Me: *sees my brother and his fiancee* Oh hi bro. *greets fiancee*

Mother: Oh, you wanted to tell them about a job offer?

Me: . . . . . .

Mother: Oh, you don't want me to tell them?

Me:

Fiancee:

Me: Oh, um, yeah, well . . . *goes on to explain the job*

Now his fiancee is going to expect the job. I don't understand why my mother has no control over what she says in social interactions. She blurts stuff out all the time.
I wonder why your brother did not do the asking himself on behalf of his fiance. Perhaps he had a good reason not. You interfered.
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Old 04-25-2016, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
1,330 posts, read 1,540,454 times
Reputation: 4212
Yeah, your mom was right from square one. She didn't want to get involved with your "orchestration" of a simple transaction and, as a mom in law myself, I don't blame her.

You really can't blame your mom on this one. What did you do to set that ball rolling in the first place?

What will you do in the future to prevent things like this happening?

People are going to act and react however they choose to. Your job is to not provide any ammo you don't want blowing up in your face.
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Old 04-25-2016, 01:14 PM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 9,280,639 times
Reputation: 3165
Word of advice from someone who learned the hard way, if you don't want your mother blurting things out, then you don't need to tell her things. My mother couldn't keep her mouth shut if her life depended on it, so now I tell her nothing and I mean nothing.
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Old 04-25-2016, 01:41 PM
 
66 posts, read 60,238 times
Reputation: 181
rofl op
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