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I'm going to tell my parents that I'm worried she may call the police and have me charged with something that's false.
Yesterday everything was mostly fine with one small argument about something silly.
The fact is I'm shaking right now from her attitude just now. If this escalates I'll be the first to call the police and explain the situation to them and be calm.
I know I can be calm and it's clear my roommate is unstable and she would probably be unstable if law enforcement came. Thus showing who is in the right mind between the two of us.
I wouldn't count on that, she can be as unstable as you say she is, but people like that can quickly pull it together when the police arrive. Than you look like the crazy one.
Keep in mind, she is the homeowner you are a renter, you're a guy, she is also older than you. Don't you see how this can play out? As unfair as it is, all it takes is a couple of dumb cops to show up and you end up in trouble. Don't assume they're going to "get" the actual situation.
Don't put so much faith in the police that they wil be fair and have a handle on what is going on. You could end up being the one taken away.
Bad situation, get out of it. Not sure what the deal is with your parents, but it shouldn't have to have gotten to this point for them to have take you in.
Can you go to an inexpensive motel (not a dive) for a few nights, until your work situation is confirmed? Tell her you're going on vacation, going on a business trip, whatever reason will fly.
I also wonder if this woman's mental state is not adversely affected by the brain tumor - even if surgery was "successful", it may have left her with significant damage and personality changes, and medication can do the same. The behavior you describe sounds very erratic and irrational. If you stay, you and this woman are likely to continue to be at odds and distressing one another over small things that don't seem "small" to one or the other of you.
Also, consider renting a storage facility for a month or so, and start moving what you can into it. Make sure your legal records, etc., are in a bank lock box or somewhere else safe and beyond her reach.
I am also baffled that your parents don't appear to have responded to your request to stay with them for a while. Also, what's going on with the new, convenient apartment you wrote about a few posts ago? Any news about that? How soon would it be available?
I'm not hiding "anything" they just feel like I need to take care of this myself I guess. Not everyone has secrets :/
We've given a month's notice so roughly 2 and a half weeks. Those apartments didn't turn out as I had hoped for.
Some parents, this is how it works with people who have good parents and their adult child regardless of age
needs help. They do what they can to help their child. Good grief, you're not asking for a large sum of money, you're asking to go back and live in your old room.
You're in a situation that could end in violence, and you can't stay in the house you grew up in until you can figure something out?
The parents even hired a housesitter instead of asking him to do it. Something tells me the parents are trying to teach him a "lesson" by not bailing him out... THIS TIME.
Perhaps this is seen as the latest in a series of bad choices by the OP?
Sooooo.... I'm not really sure where to begin this. Moved in late last year with a roommate. She owns the house I pay $500 a month in rent. We were getting along great until a few weeks ago, and I'm not even sure what started this all to be honest.
Anyway, the big picture. She's beginning to irritate me. Long showers/baths (2+ hours I mean seriously, who takes this long to bathe?) Loud TV 24/7. Don't have a problem with the TV until ten pm which is what we have agreed quiet hours to begin.
The problems have increased over the last two weeks. She has complained about a "smell" coming from my room. And she didn't complain about it before I left to spend the weekend at my parents' house. She complained of it the day after I got back. I didn't do any outdoor activities when I went to my parents' house.
I use deodorant shower and brush my teeth and do my laundry so I know it's not that. Is this her way of telling me she's irritated with me? She also got irritated with me when I shut my window (after opening it but closed it because of allergies) in an effort to help her with trying to get rid of supposed "smell." She won't even tell me what it smells like.
I could complain about the smell of her cooking things with spices at 9:30pm right before I go to bed but cho0se not to.
Last night I said something that she didn't like, for which I apologized just to keep things settled down. However, she holds grudges and got upset when I moved a dry blanket from the dryer which she said she would move last night and didn't (I have work today so I needed the dryer to get all the wrinkles out of my shirt)
I set the blanket on a place where I didn't think the dogs would mess around with it (she had other laundry here already) She get's irritated about that and calls me irresponsible for moving it and to not touch her things again she said she would move it after 15 minutes last night and never did. She also had stuff in the washer from last night and I did NOT move any of those. If I had moved the clothes from the wash, I would understand.
Based on what she expected of me, it sounded like she wanted me to wait about a half an hour before work to dry my clothes, which is ridiculous since I have a 25 minute drive to work.
At this point I'm considering moving out at the beginning of the month. A few apartments are opening up and work has picked up for me along with the possibility of a second job coming, so I could possibly afford a new place closer to where I work.
She also leaves the back door open at night and insects and mosquito eaters come into the house (drives me nuts) She won't budge on this.
Has she just decided she doesn't want me as a roommate anymore but can't tell me in those words directly?
Edit: Coming from someone who has spent a year with 2 guys in a dorm room who all got along.
Either is passive-aggressive or inconsiderate about sharing a house (even though she does own the house it is appropriate to try to a be a little considerate of another person who is living there too; from what you say she has no consideration for you whatsoever). I rented a room from an older lady and her mother once and they were *very* considerate of making me feel all at home in their house (asking me to let them know if the television was on too loud and things like that). This person sounds like she treats you like dirt; what a nice way to think of someone you're sharing a house with!
Either way, I would have left without posting all this. Good riddance of her! She sounds like a real annoying piece of work that I would barely have been able to stand living around.
Either is passive-aggressive or inconsiderate about sharing a house (even though she does own the house it is appropriate to try to a be a little considerate of another person who is living there too; from what you say she has no consideration for you whatsoever). I rented a room from an older lady and her mother once and they were *very* considerate of making me feel all at home in their house (asking me to let them know if the television was on too loud and things like that). This person sounds like she treats you like dirt; what a nice way to think of someone you're sharing a house with!
Either way, I would have left without posting all this. Good riddance of her! She sounds like a real annoying piece of work that I would barely have been able to stand living around.
Well, only two more weeks and yes, good riddance. Today was just weird. She claims she was out a 9pm in the backyard to do the sprinklers, which are back there. The switches are right along my wall and I do have a window. She claims that she was not spying me (I beg to differ) why wait that late at night to do this? Just now as I'm typing this she goes to do it a third time. With a bright flashlight and she's also been mowing just the side of the yard that's next to my window and weed whacking for the better part of 10 minutes at 7:30pm, when I've been away for most of the day?
And she's also turned up the TV to extra loud and got annoyed with me when I asked her in a nice polite voice to turn it down. I do my part with a fan in my room and earphones at night so she can have it up semi loud if she wants.
When she gets upset, she tends to do things like this and be childish about things. Today I put the trash cans in front of her truck, which she never used since she's not medically cleared to drive, and when I got back, she moved the trash can so that it was in the way of me parking.
But yeah, only 2 more weeks thank God.
Oh, and for those questions me, 3 years of work experience and 2 years of college...... Gotten along with past roommates just fine.
Anyway, I've been leaving the house all day in an effort to give her peace and quiet. I go the library and other things, but this is what I come back to ........
We at least seem to know how to communicate about the laundry now.
OP, be very careful. So many clues that this woman is batsh!t crazy. Crazy, as in untreated, mentally ill. Make your plans carefully and quietly and get your possessions out as soon as you can.
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