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Lately I have been in my thirties..yeah...
I think much more about financial security, mainly because I have very little at the moment, and also about my parents aging,my ability to care for them at some point-hopefully not sooner than later,etc. I have just become much more negative in general, I am still friendly most of the time-but find that I have a very bitter outlook and view other people as self serving and reckless. I am wondering if anyone else noticed a shift like this in their overall mood once they hit their thirties..is this normal or am I depressed?
I'm not 30 yet and I already see other people as self serving and reckless. They're also flakey and unreliable. I have known this since I was 15 but it wasn't until the past few years that I also grew cynical about the people closest to me. I have stopped wishing that my family would be warmer towards me.
I haven't been alive for 30 years yet but I do find I am more cynical, bitter, pessimistic as the years go by. I'm not sure if it has to do with aging itself so much as it is the way my life has turned out. Maybe that is what it is with you. You are maybe just noticing your troubles more since your mind is more aware with age.
I am wondering if anyone else noticed a shift like this in their overall mood once they hit their thirties..is this normal or am I depressed?
Your thirties...?? Oh good grief! I'm 68 and not at all cynical.
You are still a very young person. What's happening to you is a stage of growth, maturing if you will. Only babies are delighted with everything all the time. "With age" (you haven't got there yet), you begin to see reality as it is, instead of the way your family and friends define it for you.
But then things turn around, and you begin to think, "this doesn't suck as much as I thought...".
I've developed a more negative outlook in the last few years, my late 30's. For me I don't think it's a natural part of growing older and more experienced, because I've always been able to see the good in people until recently.
What has changed my outlook is dealing with my aging parents and realizing how much my mother is willing to take advantage of me, even when it's harmful to my health or to my children. And once I realized that, I looked back over my memories of my life and realized what a selfish, negative presence my mom has always been in my life. I watch her hoarding her money rather than paying for care for my dad, when he worked his whole life and saved money to make sure he'd be taken care of in his old age. I tried to help care for him, because my mom is always willing and eager to accept (or demand) free help. I almost died taking care of them while my mom was sick, because she wouldn't let me leave them alone or hire some help for a couple of hours so I could see a doctor...by the time my sister drove across the country to stay with them, I ended up in critical condition and had to have transfusions. Last summer I was going over once a week for 9 hours to help out around their house, but I hurt my back trying to keep my dad from running into a busy street, and hurt my foot chasing him around because he won't sit for more than a minute and he pees everywhere (wears a brief but he pulls it down and goes in cupboards, on the couch, on the dog, etc). And more recently my father has started chasing my youngest daughter around the house and raising his fists like he's going to hit her, and screaming really mean things at both of my kids, and my mom acts like my kids are crazy or overreacting when they're scared to come out of their bedrooms while my parents are visiting (which my mom wants to do several times a week). So I haven't let them come over for several months, and I've felt guilty and very depressed, even though I am doing what I need to in order to protect my kids.
And it's changing the way I look at life in general. The only people I like and want to spend time with right now are my husband and my kids.
It's normal. Some people can maintain a balance of happiness and being reasonably cynical, while others get consumed by their own negativity.
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