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Amen. I am lucky that my girls, from the time they were tiny, were thrilled to give me a hand-drawn card, a painted rock, etc. My younger daughter is taking me out for burgers this weekend because her after school job doesn't pay much, but she definitely wants to treat me. My older one passed a little over three years ago, but I will spend some time looking at photos and thinking about her. I miss her so much.
This OP's entitlement is nauseating, but I think I can see where she is coming from. For whatever reason, her children don't appreciate her or show her the affection she craves from them. The younger one may be excused, but clearly the 12 year old is capable of doing something, but chooses not to.
And she's right, this is the story of her future, with the kids drifting away, finding surrogate parents elsewhere and passively aggressively forgetting Mother's Day, but remembering clearly every time she chose some man over them, acted self-centeredly, threw herself pity parties and ignored their needs.
Reap = sow.
Wait I never said my kids won't make the little hand made cards. They do.
My daughter went to the grocery store this past weekend with my boyfriend because I was sick and she picked up flowers for me. My kids are thoughtful but they have limited means as they are kids. It should not fall squarely on them to plan a celebration for me.
I am awful at asking for what I want. i always hope people will treat me the way I treat them, then end up
Disappointedl.
I am the same way! My son spends Mothers Day with his wife, who in turn wants to spend time with her own Mom on MD. So my son is always off to his MIL's that day. Same goes for Christmas; same goes for Thanksgiving. I rarely see my son on any of those days but he does always call. He makes a point of scheduling time to spend with me on my birthday. That's the way it goes. It hurts. Its life. Oh well.
Wait I never said my kids won't make the little hand made cards. They do.
My daughter went to the grocery store this past weekend with my boyfriend because I was sick and she picked up flowers for me. My kids are thoughtful but they have limited means as they are kids. It should not fall squarely on them to plan a celebration for me.
Ok. So if they do in fact do little things to show they care, then why complain? They should be the main ones who matter anyhow. Mother's day, for those who celebrate is a day to appreciate their mothers. Like a birthday. Don't expect other people to give you something on someone else's birthday.
Why care what your mother does and does not do? You don't seem to care about, or respect her. So why concern yourself with being in the doghouse with her, and be miserable catering to her? You already said she sees you as a disappointment and is going to give her other kids inheritance and leave you nothing when she dies.
If she takes advantage that hard, makes you bitter, and you don't care for her, cut her out. Something you need to be doing with most of the people you insist on being involved with.
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-04-2016 at 02:12 PM..
Reason: caused a hijack into the realm of mental illness
Wait I never said my kids won't make the little hand made cards. They do.
My daughter went to the grocery store this past weekend with my boyfriend because I was sick and she picked up flowers for me. My kids are thoughtful but they have limited means as they are kids. It should not fall squarely on them to plan a celebration for me.
"Mother's Day" is for honoring your mother. Your children honor you...which is what you should get. That's all you should get. You should also honor your own mother.
But, as has been mentioned, your kids will model themselves after your behavior. When they see you failing to honor your mother (or when they detect as they grow older that you resent your mother), they will cease honoring you as adults.
Ok. So if they do in fact do little things to show they care, then why complain? They should be the main ones who matter anyhow. Why care what your mother does and does not do? You don't seem to care about her, or respect her. So why concern yourself with being in the doghouse with her, and be miserable trying to cater to her? You already said she sees you as a disappointment and is going to give her other kids inheritance and leave you nothing when she dies.
If she takes advantage that hard, makes you bitter, and you don't care for her, cut her out. Something you need to be doing with most of the people you insist on being involved with. Either you have got Asperger's, Autism, or some kind of problem, or you're a just a textbook martyr.
I can't cut her off because my kids are attached to my parents. They want a relationship with her. I am close to my dad, but if she is mad at me, she won't let him talk to me.
I also have to keep peace until I pay off a loan I have outstanding with them. I can't do this until I sell a house, which is waiting on my tenant to get her situation fixed.
it seems like single moms draw the short straw once again with celebrating Mother's Day. Ugh. And they typically have the hardest parenting job because they do everything without help.
This year my mother decided she wants to do a picnic at her house. My brother and I are to split the cost of crabs. I will cover the half but it is not like I am getting recognized as being a mom, currently raising children. Where is my congratulations? Oh that is right... The same thing as every other day, Pat myself on the back and keep chugging along.
Hopefully when my kids are older I will get the opportunity to celebrate Mother's Day.
Did you become a mom for recognition? Because if so you are going to be very disappointed on a regular basis. Being a single mom isn't easy and it certainly isn't something I would ever want to do.
She can drive our tractor with no problems. She drives a large diesel farm tractor to mow my parents large, relatively flat yard. I am not comfortable with her mowing our yard because it is a hill and the risk of rolling it over is significant. I could not live with myself if she was hurt. My yard is far from being flat.
If I bulk at participating, she will give the silent treatment for Months. I just recently got off her crap list from the last time I refused to jump to her demands.
So what? What happens if your mother gives you the silent treatment? Do governments fall? Do people die? Does the solar system go out of sync? C'mon.
You guys are in a little system where you each play your role. She puts guilt/expectations on you to do things, you complain about it and do it anyway because on some level you enjoy being this martyr and being able to complain about how put upon you are. Don't say you don't. Think about it. It's obvious to everyone else. You are each playing the role you set up for yourselves, and unless one of you decides to do something different, you will keep up this game forever. And then you will do the exact same thing to your kids. You probably already are.
If you're always gonna do what you always did, you're always gonna get what you always got.
Did you become a mom for recognition? Because if so you are going to be very disappointed on a regular basis. Being a single mom isn't easy and it certainly isn't something I would ever want to do.
Certainly not.
I didn't choose to be a single mom, but it is all I have known. My oldest child's father died before she was even born. I am fed up with being a single mom, so I hope and pray someday that I will meet the right man I can marry, who will want to help raise my kids.
I didn't choose to be a single mom, but it is all I have known. My oldest child's father died before she was even born. I am fed up with being a single mom, so I hope and pray someday that I will meet the right man I can marry, who will want to help raise my kids.
But why complain? You say your dating a guy now who likes your kids, apparently they go places with him, and he's apparently hot as well. And is he stable? if so this man is a huge step up from the losers you have dated. That's more than what some single mom's have. Hell that's more than some girls ever have period, where attractive and/or decent men don't even notice them. Sure, you dated plenty of bleh men. But apparently you have had some sprinkles of decent ones.
You spend time whining about what you don't have, that you take what you do have for granted.
If you believe in luck, best not to complain about being a single mom too much. Luck may decide since you're so bitter, to have your children killed in an accident. Now, you don't have to care for them anymore, and single mom struggles will be no more.
Be happy you have them, and they're healthy. Some mom's don't get that. Their kids are born disabled, or mentally challenged, and they have to care for them until they die, in addition to the heartbreak that their kids won't get to have a conventional life with normal chances.
Try counting your blessings for a change. because despite your bitterness, you do have some things to be thankful about. focus on those.
So what? What happens if your mother gives you the silent treatment? Do governments fall? Do people die? Does the solar system go out of sync? C'mon.
You guys are in a little system where you each play your role. She puts guilt/expectations on you to do things, you complain about it and do it anyway because on some level you enjoy being this martyr and being able to complain about how put upon you are. Don't say you don't. Think about it. It's obvious to everyone else. You are each playing the role you set up for yourselves, and unless one of you decides to do something different, you will keep up this game forever. And then you will do the exact same thing to your kids. You probably already are.
If you're always gonna do what you always did, you're always gonna get what you always got.
Lol. Let's see.. She threatens to sell my house because she holds the mortgage. She runs her mouth to everyone I know, about how horrible of a person I am because I won't do what she told me to do. She will say hateful things to the kids. She will take my nephew somewhere special and my kids will be left out. Should I go on? Or do you get the idea?
My personality is nothing like my mothers. I am like her mother. My grandmother said, my mother was demanding, lazy and controlling early on.
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