Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My children are young. I think it should be the moms that are actively parenting now that should be rewarded. Not the ones that gave up parenting 25 years ago. Heck I raised my brother.
Yes, but what are your kids capable of? If they can't cook yet, then good luck trying to get pancakes out of them. It is the nature of motherhood that if we're doing the job right it's largely unrewarded*. We were already paid by the care our mothers put into us.
*except with adorable poems and macaroni necklaces.
it seems like single moms draw the short straw once again with celebrating Mother's Day. Ugh. And they typically have the hardest parenting job because they do everything without help.
This year my mother decided she wants to do a picnic at her house. My brother and I are to split the cost of crabs. I will cover the half but it is not like I am getting recognized as being a mom, currently raising children. Where is my congratulations? Oh that is right... The same thing as every other day, Pat myself on the back and keep chugging along.
Hopefully when my kids are older I will get the opportunity to celebrate Mother's Day.
#1. It is the kids' job to celebrate Mother's Day, so I don't get how being a single mom changes anything.
#2. You seriously gonna get upset about some lame-o made up holiday? I do stuff for my mom bc she likes the attention, but I don't give two craps about it myself.
Of course it was.
Barring death, drugs, or brain tumor, it usually is.
Not pc, but truth.
My oldest child's father died from cancer, while I was pregnant. I didn't choose to kill him. My sons father left me. So again, I didn't choose that either. It was a blessing once the dust settled. But not something I saw coming or even requested.
I've been divorced since my boys were very, very little.
I can't imagine caring about getting presents or whatever for Mother's Day.
I get to spend time with my kids every day. They love me and trust me and still think I'm funny even though they're teens and I tell the dorkiest jokes.
Well things either resolved themselves or got more complicated. My brother wanted to switch to Saturday and my mother was not available so he said we would have to do another weekend.
Maybe I will take my kids and I out for crabs. For a lot less stress...
good. Make your Mother's Day what you want it to be. That's what I do as a single mom, not expect someone else to make that happen. Don't get me wrong, if I were married, yes, I would expect my husband to do this. But since I'm not, I do it myself.
Wait I never said my kids won't make the little hand made cards. They do.
My daughter went to the grocery store this past weekend with my boyfriend because I was sick and she picked up flowers for me. My kids are thoughtful but they have limited means as they are kids. It should not fall squarely on them to plan a celebration for me.
Ungrateful much? It's mothers day, they're young children and they don't have a father. Who should plan the celebration for you? And why is what your kids do for you, their mother, isn't enough for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas
I am the same way! My son spends Mothers Day with his wife, who in turn wants to spend time with her own Mom on MD. So my son is always off to his MIL's that day. Same goes for Christmas; same goes for Thanksgiving. I rarely see my son on any of those days but he does always call. He makes a point of scheduling time to spend with me on my birthday. That's the way it goes. It hurts. Its life. Oh well.
I'm sorry, that would hurt me as well. My husband and I have no children so often we split and spend mothers/fathers day with our respective parents. It works well and no one feels left out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
I can't cut her off because my kids are attached to my parents. They want a relationship with her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
She will say hateful things to the kids. She will take my nephew somewhere special and my kids will be left out.
Why do they want a relationship with her if she treats them like this? Why do you let her have an unhealthy relationship with your mother.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
I am close to my dad, but if she is mad at me, she won't let him talk to me.
You're father is as spineless as you, it's no wonder your mother acts how she does, you and your father give in to her every time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
Certainly not.
I didn't choose to be a single mom, but it is all I have known. My oldest child's father died before she was even born. I am fed up with being a single mom, so I hope and pray someday that I will meet the right man I can marry, who will want to help raise my kids.
I'm terribly sorry your daughters father passed away and that all you knew until you met your son's father was life as a single mom.
Given that experience, I'm struggling to understand why you would then go and have another child with a man you're not married to (the very definition of single btw) who isn't a good person when you already knew how hard being a single mom of 1 is.
Stop waiting for Prince charming. Build your own life, yourself.
Your posts have a pattern of you thinking everyone should do for you because your life is just so hard. Stop waiting for other people to dictate your life.
You're giving away all your power.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
My personality is nothing like my mothers. I am like her mother. My grandmother said, my mother was demanding, lazy and controlling early on.
And now we finally see how your mother became the person she is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
My parents do not give me money. I have to pay all my expenses. I actually just had to use my tax refund to pay their taxes, because they are going on a month long trip and made me pay the $5k.
They might not give you money but there name is your mortgage for your house. You have said in other posts that you need to play nice with your mom or she will sell your house. A house you shouldn't of bought until you could sign the mortgage.
You willingly gave up your financial control to your mother because you needed to have a house, NOW. You made these choices. Stop complaining about it and do something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
The kids and wanting to remain in my families life is exactly the issue. The kids are close to my parents. They have no other grandparents. I have a small family. How do I put my foot down, without her being passed off and acting like a child? I can't.
So if I just cut her off then I am the bad guy for keeping the kids away from their grandparents.
No, she's the bad guy for denying her grandchildren a relationship because you and her don't get along.
But you said she's not nice to your kids so I don't understand your insistence on the importance of them having a relationship with her.
I think you're stuck under your mother's financial thumb right now and I think you say this stuff to yourself to avoid accepting the reality that if you hadn't gotten in to the financial bed with your mother you would be able to have control over the relationship and how she treats you.
You're at her mercy and that sucks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
No I always pay the mortgage payment directly to the bank, every single month. This was in addition to money I spend on the house.
They do not pay any expenses towards the house. I have to pay everything, mortgage, taxes, insurance and repairs.
But they still hold the mortgage because you couldn't. And now your mother uses it as a threat.
good. Make your Mother's Day what you want it to be. That's what I do as a single mom, not expect someone else to make that happen. Don't get me wrong, if I were married, yes, I would expect my husband to do this. But since I'm not, I do it myself.
My brother wanted to switch to Saturday and my mother was not available so he said we would have to do another weekend.
See how that works when someone sets boundaries?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
