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You do realize, don’t you, that your mom is doing what you should be doing – setting up Mother’s Day to be celebrated as you want it to be, by your children. You need to set up traditions for your children to celebrate the days that you feel important.
Some mom’s host a Mothers Day celebration to include all the mom’s in attendance (but it doesn’t appear to be what your mom is doing).
Why don’t you and your children go to breakfast on Mothers Day as a celebration to you, then attend your mom’s mothers day event later?
Mother's Day revolves around the family matriarch. It's just how it is. I don't always enjoy packing up and heading over to my MIL's, but that's the way it works. My Mom lives too far away (on the other side of the country) for me to spend the day with her.
You do realize, don’t you, that your mom is doing what you should be doing – setting up Mother’s Day to be celebrated as you want it to be, by your children. You need to set up traditions for your children to celebrate the days that you feel important.
Some mom’s host a Mothers Day celebration to include all the mom’s in attendance (but it doesn’t appear to be what your mom is doing).
Why don’t you and your children go to breakfast on Mothers Day as a celebration to you, then attend your mom’s mothers day event later?
My friend is also gearing up to be disappointed on Mother's Day. Her daughter bought a florist shop last year just before Mother's Day. She not only didn't get any flowers for Mother's Day, her daughter only posted Happy Mother's Day on Facebook to HER daughter-in-law, not her own mother. My friend since turned 75, and she didn't get flowers for her birthday, either. I bet you anything she won't get any flowers for Mother's Day this year, either, lol. There's a mean little dynamic going on between those two!
OP, I get it. Sometimes you just need to rant, and sometimes the only place you can rant is here. Three years ago, I was by myself on Mothers' Day--my husband had been living and working three states away for the previous two months and we had one more month before we moved with him. I had three kids, getting ready for a move, finalizing all my volunteer projects, planning and prepping for a graduation party, helping the graduate-to-be line up her arrangements for after the move, and keeping the house up for any last minute showings. I was stressed and missing my husband. NO ONE recognized Mothers' Day for me. I almost cried calling my own mom and wishing her a good day and decided that my husband could call his own mom. I just wasn't going to do it.
I normally don't care about Mothers' Day, but it felt so depressing that year because I was doing so much. You do so much day to day, and keep your chin up, but when everyone around you is being recognized for all their hard work while you are not, well it hurts.
I do suggest you start a new tradition. Yes, it would be nice if flowers just materialized out of thin air for you, but it's not going to happen. Turn it from a holiday where other people salute you, to a holiday where you proclaim loud and clear that you are a mother and proud of it. Tell your kids that it is Mothers' Day, so the family is going to do all of your favorite things. I bet your kids will get into it. So even though you will be limited to your "favorite things that can still include young children," you will have more fun. Do it the Saturday before. Have your favorite breakfast. Go to your favorite [kid friendly] places. Eat your favorite lunch, etc.
Don't wait for other people to validate what you do and who you are. Stand up and validate yourself!
Mother's Day revolves around the family matriarch. It's just how it is. I don't always enjoy packing up and heading over to my MIL's, but that's the way it works. My Mom lives too far away (on the other side of the country) for me to spend the day with her.
Yup. I can think of a dozen places I'd rather be than yet another dinner at an over-crowded Italian restaurant, keeping 3 bored, antsy children contained, while tearing up over the realization that the only dairy-free choices on the menu are probably garden salad and booze. But, alas, it ain't all about me. Let the old woman have her day. I'll find a drive-thru on the way home... or some leftovers in the back of the freezer.
One father is dead and the other cant even be responsible to visit our son on his scheduled weekends. I guess my time to be honored for being a mother is after my kids are adults.
You seem really bitter about the choices you have made for your life.
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