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Yes, it is rude to monopolize a popular guest at a busy function with more than about 3-4 minutes of conversation.
The groom should have politely interrupted you and included the third person, but not everyone is skilled at these higher level social skills and manners. There are rules, and some of us were actually trained in them as children.
I don't know if it's considered 'normal,' but it's happened to me before (more than twice). What I do is just stop talking completely if someone does that and then I usually move on, either to go talk to someone else or get a drink (if I'm at a party), or just go elsewhere.
One woman did this at dinner out. She had been drinking a bunch of wine and saw some people she knew at another table (casual outdoor dining) and she got up and went to the other table and sat down and stayed there talking to the people she knew who were sitting at this other table. There was a 3rd person in our party as well, but she had already left. I paid my check, I waited a few minutes to see if wine-drinking friend was coming back, I saw she wasn't, and then I left as well.
And yes, I consider all of the above rude behavior. I don't feel 'hurt' per se, just sometimes surprised and disappointed at the lack of manners.
Will you continue to be friends with this person? Do you consider this person a friend?
This is it. I would not bother any more who did that to me.
You feel that way about the groom at a wedding? How full of yourself are you? They should just stand there while you drone on about whatever YOU want to talk about? It's his wedding, not yours.
I don't think its other people that are the problem.
Public speaking and having a conversation are two completely different things. You mention what a great public speaker you are, which is a one way conversation and people find you very interesting when you do this. Different circumstance because they came there just for the purpose of hearing you talk. If in a conversation you consider other peoples speaking as blabbering on it sounds as though you aren't really interested in a two way exchange. I think maybe you are always in public speaking mode and don't know how to have a conversation. Pause every now and then and let other people get a word in and listen with interest. People can tell if you are really listening or just waiting to have a chance to speak again.
I know two friends like this. Funny thing about them, they are both highly educated and smart people. Great public speakers. Thing is, they don't do well sometimes socially and if you watch people they get trapped by them in conversation and are looking around for an escape. Everyone else sees this and they don't. That third person may have come up to help the groom out.
Social cues are something some people don't pick up on. I'm sure that like my two friends you have a lot to offer, but this is just something to work on.
I don't think its other people that are the problem.
Public speaking and having a conversation are two completely different things. You mention what a great public speaker you are, which is a one way conversation and people find you very interesting when you do this. Different circumstance because they came there just for the purpose of hearing you talk. If in a conversation you consider other peoples speaking as blabbering on it sounds as though you aren't really interested in a two way exchange. I think maybe you are always in public speaking mode and don't know how to have a conversation. Pause every now and then and let other people get a word in and listen with interest. People can tell if you are really listening or just waiting to have a chance to speak again.
I know two friends like this. Funny thing about them, they are both highly educated and smart people. Great public speakers. Thing is, they don't do well sometimes socially and if you watch people they get trapped by them in conversation and are looking around for an escape. Everyone else sees this and they don't. That third person may have come up to help the groom out.
Social cues are something some people don't pick up on. I'm sure that like my two friends you have a lot to offer, but this is just something to work on.
Thanks for this comment. But I can assure you this is not the case. In fact I consciously make an effort to listen and be attentive and give pauses and what not. Most people are fine but many aren't.
Okay before I begin let me say I am a mess. Pretty much diagnosed schizoid personality disorder I am hopeless in social situations.I am also emotional and thin skinned so I take things way too personally.
But I make an effort to never hurt the other person which has hurt me back in return so often.
Now onto a particular social trait. Is it considered normal if I am talking to someone and they mid way just turn around and start talking to the other person? Like I don't exist? Has this happened to you and do you feel hurt(or avoid the person from then on if they do it many times?).
I would never do it to any other person and never have. I listen(I actually enjoy listening others blabber) until what they have said and act accordingly. Now this has happened twice with me.
So you're at a wedding, the groom turns away from you. Thinking about such situations, it's not unusual for the groom (or bride) to be approached and they turn to the other person because everyone's probably walking up to them to congratulate, etc., so you have to expect it. But, what is rude is if he didn't disengage from the conversation with you by excusing himself or pausing the interrupting individual by saying, to you, "I'll get back to you," or something to that effect. If the other person was already there during your entire conversation, then maybe the groom wanted to engage that person so as not to be rude to him.
A classic sign of someone losing interest in what you're talking about is they start to look around
It amazes me how many people don't know that.
I have tried to explain this to DH, who gets visibly wound up when someone addresses him, and by golly he's not going to stop talking until he's said everything he wanted to say on the subject, including dramatic... pauses... for... effect. He simply doesn't care if they want to listen or not. It seems very Aspie to me.
I stop talking abruptly when eye contact is broken, finish with a "Great to see you" and move on.
If you were talking to the groom at his wedding then his behavior makes much more sense. He has tons of guests that he needs to talk to and simply doesn't have time to have one on one conversations with everyone. In this type of instance I would totally excuse the groom for moving on to another guest.
This. Its common during a wedding. You mention it happened twice, what was the other time?
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