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Location: Foothills of Maryland Blue Ridge mountains
993 posts, read 766,406 times
Reputation: 3163
The fact that you're arguing about this a year later is an indication that there are other issues in your marriage. A stint of marriage counseling is in order, I think.
I'm sorry but the way you presented this story......your husband sounds controlling and petty and it made me wonder if you often take the path of least resistance to prevent him from blowing up. C'mon.....a year later and he's still bitter about 50 bucks? Something isn't right......
OP: Of course you are still arguing about it a year later. You know your husband is in the wrong but he will not admit it and you are between a rock (husband) and a hard place (parents).
Has your husband shown such "entitlement" before this event?
You, who are/were pregnant with your 3rd child, went to Disney and left your parents to handle your pets. As previous poster commented you really can't plead "varicose" if you spent days at Disney (I've been there-brutal amount of standing in line- not for the physically un-abled). But I'm not blaming you, you should not have been the one to retrieve your pets in a car for 3 hours, your husband should have been the one.
Obviously your lives are maxxed out with multiple children and pets. Your husband justified his actions in his mind that since your parents were coming anyway it would save him a trip picking them up .Where he failed was asking them in person on the phone and being thankful they helped you both out.
That's the whole problem.
Hope your lives don't continue to be so rude to people (your parents0 that can be so supportive.
You need to speak up when your spouse does the wrong thing. Are you afraid to do that?
$50 gift card is insulting. People want to be respected.
Your husband is the unloving and selfish one. It was a really poor idea to plan for a pet sitter that's a 3 hour drive away, especially when only one of you is able to make the drive. But, since that's what you planned, the pick up day should have been planned before the trip. The day after getting home from DW, your husband should have driven to get the pets. That should have been established at the beginning.
Your husband sounds extremely immature and entitled and like he needs a good kick in the rear. I wonder how he would react if the shoe was on the other (his) foot. And no, being "loving parents" does not mean being doormats and happily submitting to being used/abused/taken advantage of as the "kids" see fit. He needs to learn some respect.
Vacation at Disney was less than relaxing and we got into several arguments. While driving home, my husband said he thought it was stupid for him to get the pets & my parents should bring them back to us during the birthday party.
It's interesting that you mention arguing at Disney. To me, that indicates that your husband's unilateral decision to not go get the pets may have been spiteful on his part to get back at you for some reason. Is he generally a vindictive person?
IMHO you had an agreement with your parents, maybe not the ideal plan, but a plan that your husband reneged on. And he is blaming your parents for being angry, instead of accepting the fact that he changed the plan even though 3 of 4 adults involved felt his decision was the wrong one.
That sounds just like my ex-husband. After 26 years, I'm still waiting for him to mature into an adult who can put the needs of others in front of his own AND take ownership of his decisions AND stop blaming others for things that are his fault, or even things that are no one's fault. He still lacks the ability to make a simple apology.
The reason the arguing at Disney caught my attention was we argued on every vacation we ever took. I'd get excited and chatter like a magpie, and he'd become more morose and sullen with every step. It was like Bert and Ernie on vacation. Eventually I realized that his travel anxiety caused him to attempt to gain control of every moment, and he blamed me for causing unexpected things to happen (it was all unexpected to him).
At this point it should be water under the bridge. I don't know what to tell you about getting past this. I guess if I knew what would work I wouldn't be divorced!
It's a huge imposition to take care of pets for someone. People get paid good money to be petsitters.
Your husband is in the wrong. I can see why your parents were peeved by this.
The good news: you will probably not face this type of problem again because your parents hopefully learned NEVER to do that type of favor again. They now know it will backfire on them that they were nice.
The bad news: you are married to a selfish jerk.....AND you proceeded to have three children with him.
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