How would you have handled this? (person, member, children, relatives)
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I am just curious as this is a extended family issue and it doest personally affect me.
One of my younger family members was arrested on a drug charge. He told his parents he didn't do anything. Like most normal parents. His bail was set a 5,000 and his parents didn't post it. It would of cost about 500-700 to get a 5,000 dollar bond. His parents definitely had the money. They said they wanted to teach him a lesson and they didn't want anyone to bail him out either. They had found a bag of weed under his bed months ago (literally no bigger that a 20$ bag) and he must be selling to. Anyway as time went on the case was dismissed. The public defender was able to get the case thrown out so the case must of been very week in the first place since public defenders usually aren't very good. They were able to get video from outside of restaurant to show that the police statements of what occurred were false. He was held in jail in rikers island (a really terrible for anyone who doesn't know) for four months.
Anyway he is released from jail and refuses to go home. Won't speak to his parents because they didn't believe him. He moved in with our aunt. From what she said he said some pretty terrible things to them. I am sure he wont be able to graduate from H.S on time because he missed four months of school. That means he out of luck for whatever colleges he got into. This also made our last family functions very uncomfortable.
What would you do in this situation? Would you speak to your parents? If you were the parent would you do this?
I personally feel having a 20$ bag of weed is a huge jump from a drug dealer especially for a pretty decent kid with good grades.
IMHO, assuming that this is a "good kid" who has not been in trouble with the law before, there is a huge difference between a parent who wants to "teach their child a lesson" by not posting bail so that are in a local jail overnight and forcing the teen to stay at Rikers (a heavy duty, very dangerous place) for four months. I would not be very surprised if he does not end up with psychiatric problems or long term PTSD from that ordeal.
It is possible, even likely, that his parents have virtually destroyed his life for several if not many years. If he is not allowed to graduate on time that could seriously effect his chances of getting into the colleges that he selected (even in the future).
Unless there is a lot more to this story IMHO his parents were wrong (very, very wrong) to do that to him.
Frankly, if he does not talk to his parents again for the next five or ten or twenty years it may not be enough time to erase what they did to him. His other relatives should have tried to talk some sense into the parents or they should have bailed him out.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-17-2016 at 05:35 PM..
Without knowing all that went on after the parents found drugs months ago (as far as future infractions, etc)...
I would not bail him out either.
He made choices he should not have, and he needs to learn the consequences of those choices.
It is telling that no one - even you - would pony up the $500 to get him out.
I also find it odd that the guy spent four months at Rikers over $20 of weed.
There has to be WAY more to the story.
Unless the kid was a problem child, then I think the parents were wrong. If I were in the child's position and I was basically a decent kid, I would cut them out of my life for good. Change my number, location if possible, maybe even my name if I could. And like the poster above me said, I can only go by what you're saying (which looks real bad on the part of the parents), but there's likely more to the story than what is being said. The kid very well could have been a problem and if that were the case, the parents were very correct in what they did.
I am thinking that if you choose to have drugs in your parent's house, perhaps you should also stash $500-700 in your room for bail money just in case you get arrested.
When the parents found drugs, they probably told him to stop using and they didn't want that going on under their roof. He probably didn't listen to them. If that was the scenario, what were they supposed to do?
Without knowing all that went on after the parents found drugs months ago (as far as future infractions, etc)...
I would not bail him out either.
He made choices he should not have, and he needs to learn the consequences of those choices.
It is telling that no one - even you - would pony up the $500 to get him out.
I also find it odd that the guy spent four months at Rikers over $20 of weed.
There has to be WAY more to the story.
Did you actually read the post. His was arrested on a drug charge and cleared. His parents excuse for not bailing him out was that months before he was arrested they found a 20$ bag of weed under his bed a must be going down a wrong path. The two did not happen at the same time.
He was not sentenced to four months he sat in jail for four months because no one posted bail.
Most courts will assume that 500$ bond is very low. Im not sure I know of anyone who stayed in jail for something so low.
Not I cant for sure say whats going on in their home but that was the excuse they gave the family. We have had some problems kids before and he was never one of them.
If he was dealing he must be saving because he always looked pretty plain and didn't have any expensive items in his room.
Even so it is still extreme because rikers isn't some county jail. Unfortunately, nyc send everyone there so it could be someone there for petty theft as well as a rapist and murder.
I owe my children food, shelter, and an education. I do not owe them bail.
Your cousin (?) rolled the dice, gambled, and lost. His parents did nothing to him, he did it all to himself. They made their position clear the first time they saw pot under his bed.
Yes, Rikers is where NYC residents end up while awaiting trial if bail is not posted. I'm pretty sure this young man knew that in advance.
I think that $500 bail is very low and it was expected by the court that he would be bailed out. I would not have let a child or other young relative who was a basically good person go to Rikers over a $20 bag of grass. In doing so, it seems these parents have caused their son much more harm than a little grass would have caused. I know they meant well, but they appear somewhat clueless.
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