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Old 07-17-2016, 10:40 AM
 
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Yes, but in our technology driven society, it is becoming less common. Some people do not even know how to handle this situation anymore.
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Old 07-18-2016, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Markus86 View Post
I am a guy from Sweden and I have been living in New York for the last ten years (with brief returns to Sweden every now and then), and one thing that I have noticed is that people in many parts of America seem very comfortable with speaking to strangers.
In Sweden we usually don't really speak to strangers that much, and if we have to sit close to someone for a significant amount of time then it will usually be quiet most of the time.
And my impression of American people is that they seem to have a much easier time striking up a conversation - for example, someone might immediately go "how's it going?" or people will randomly talk to each other in the school corridors or at the library etc.
It just seems much more casual in this regard compared to Sweden, and I am interested in hearing your opinions about this.
Maybe you have been to Sweden at some point yourselves and possibly noticed some significant differences in social interactions?
Because that's how I feel about America.
I was born in the US but am 50% Swedish (from my mother's side) and so have more interest in this than most. I can tell you that constitutionally, I and much of my mother's side of the family has that Swedish reticence. Not unfriendly but not warm by American standards either. In addition I am an introvert and tend to live in between my ears. Left to my own preferences I don't make small talk, but I've learned to do it when others expect it -- either people I meet or people I'm with (such as my wife).

I recently read The Almost Nearly Perfect People, which is about the Nordic countries from the perspective of a Brit, and the section on Sweden seems to reinforce this notion that Swedes ignore each other in public. The Finns even more so. The author also found the Swedish protocols for social gatherings such as parties completely baffling. I don't recall the details, just the general idea that such things are full of cross currents and undertows that will humiliate the uninitiated / unwary guest.

I imagine it just comes down to different cultural expectations and implicit expectations and customs. Similar to how Turks consider a loud belch after a good meal to be a compliment to the chef, but everywhere else it's gauche.
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Old 07-18-2016, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
19,825 posts, read 13,364,699 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
There are also regional differences. In some parts of the country, it's considered "being neighborly" to chat with people in the cashier line at the grocery store, or to say hello when passing on the sidewalk around the neighborhood. In other parts of the country, people are more like in Sweden, haha!
That reminds me, Ruth, living as I do in a college town with a lot of Asian students ... I am a midwesterner (Northern Illinois originally) and have been socialized to make brief eye contact and perhaps nod or say good morning if I pass someone while walking. I note that Asians go out of their way to avoid this, they avoid eye contact and most have ear buds on; I suspect that half of them aren't actually listening to anything. ;-)

I have tried to train myself to ignore Asians rather than make them uncomfortable but I feel bad about it on multiple levels ... it seems rude and also it's really a form of profiling. I was taken aback one day when an Asian man (elderly, no less!) actually smiled and wished me good morning ... so you can't assume anything anyway.

I guess the only solution is to just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. I think that if you've been socialized to be even superficially somewhat open and friendly with strangers, that ends up being a way of demonstrating that you aren't a threat or unfriendly. And not doing it, in a less enlightened era, could be seen as a threat or a personal insult. In the present day I just let people be how they are and refuse to take any of it personally. People are too diverse anymore to make assumptions about how they are "supposed" to act.

All that said, I have never gone so far as to buttonhole people on the street, stop them and force them to have a conversation ;-) That indeed must be a Southern / regional thing.
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Old 07-18-2016, 09:20 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,049,794 times
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Just tonight, my wife and I were at a barbecue joint, waiting in line for our order, when we struck a conversation with the guy in front of us. Then his wife. Then the people in back of us chimed in. I would have never given it a thought before reading this thread.
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:55 PM
 
Location: 89434
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Markus86 View Post
In Sweden we usually don't really speak to strangers that much, and if we have to sit close to someone for a significant amount of time then it will usually be quiet most of the time.
It's like that in America too and I hardly see anyone making eye contact and saying hello (unless they need help with something). No chatting in the checkout line or in public in general. When there's a group of people sitting with each other, they're mostly close friends or relatives. Barely anyone meeting new or socializing except in constrained work/school environments. I'm not sure if it's like that in all of Scandinavia but what you say describes America as well.
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Old 07-22-2016, 07:57 PM
 
Location: 89434
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
T I note that Asians go out of their way to avoid this, they avoid eye contact and most have ear buds on; I suspect that half of them aren't actually listening to anything. ;-)
Everyone in general is like that. If I see someone (regardless of race) having earbuds on and say hello to them, they probably won't hear me.
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Old 12-13-2016, 09:05 AM
 
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Haha, I recently found a video of a guy from America who visited Sweden and recorded himself in some everyday situations.
Maybe some of you American people can relate to this a bit? ^^

Oh yeah by the way, some of his ideas about Sweden are very stereotypical, but it's funny anyway.
I have to admit that Swedish people at bus stops rarely ever speak to each other and tend to keep their distance, so there is definitely some truth in that scene
(some people in the background seemed to notice that they were filming him, though).


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYklPeVm9uY
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Old 12-13-2016, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,290,430 times
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My husband and I strike up conversations with people fairly often at restaurants and bars.

One really realizes what a small world it is with these random conversations.

Last week we were out in a different city. Husband starts talking to the guy next to him at the bar. Turns out the guy's family was friends with a well-known family from my hometown. The families visited frequently. He even knew what year I graduated from high school when I told him I graduated with one of the daughters. Later the same night I strike up a conversation with a photographer at an event. We grew up in the same town, graduated from the same high school, and he was life long friends with one of my cousins. There is about a 10 year age difference so I never knew the man. All of this was a couple hundred miles from my hometown.
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Old 12-13-2016, 10:42 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,128 posts, read 107,402,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Markus86 View Post
Haha, I recently found a video of a guy from America who visited Sweden and recorded himself in some everyday situations.
Maybe some of you American people can relate to this a bit? ^^

Oh yeah by the way, some of his ideas about Sweden are very stereotypical, but it's funny anyway.
I have to admit that Swedish people at bus stops rarely ever speak to each other and tend to keep their distance, so there is definitely some truth in that scene
(some people in the background seemed to notice that they were filming him, though).


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYklPeVm9uY
He's a pretty funny guy. His reaction to fishy smells and especially the can of fish at the end was hilarious! I must say, I've never known anyone to eat like he does in Sweden. But then, I wouldn't know how Swedes eat when they're living alone in an apartment. I thought covering himself against the cold was pretty funny, too. He seems like a great guy. Sweden seems pretty lonely when you're on your own, though. Fika is best when taken with a friend or two, for conversation.
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