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One of the most often-offered advice on here is to get out and partake in activities that you enjoy...and in the process, meet like-minded folks. Great suggestion theoretically...but has anyone else found this often doesn't play out in real life?
To give two recent examples, I participated in two mindful/fitness classes, which is my big interest area. Lots of like-minded folks? No! For yoga, as is typical, I was the oldest one there by 25 to 30 years! I do enjoy being with people of all different ages, but it can be difficult to convince a 30 year old to develop a friendship with a 62 yo. I live in a very diverse area, which makes it fascinating, but can also impede close relationships, especially with language barriers.
But aside from the age/language/cultural issues, what does get to me is that these classes aren't filled with like-minded people who want to escape from technology for an hour and be mindful. A young guy in yoga wouldn't stop using his phone even when class started...and then finally laid it down on his mat (yoga teachers have become resigned to people bringing their phones into the room---just ask that they be turned off---but people place it off their mat---the mat is supposed to be your sacred area).
I know that some posters will immediately respond that it is none of my business what someone else in yoga is doing---and to a large extent, that's correct. Even yoga teachers say this. But when the room is darkish, the light can be distracting---not to mention all the times that phone rings and people answer them!
Last night in tai chi (which is quiet and meditative, with just soft Chinese music playing), we heard electronic chirping. This happened at least four times. Yup, the goal is to be able to be so in the moment that this wouldn't be disruptive---but most of us aren't there yet. Finally the instructor asked what it was. A 65 yo guy explained that his daughters were texting him: "they type very fast, 160 words per minute." No apologies. He either turned it off or the daughters stopped texting. But here is a man who grew up without this technology and has spent an hour of his life without it. I could see forgetting to turn the phone off, but after the first notification, that would have been his cue.
So I can't say I see this guy as someone I would be interested in seeing outside of class since he demonstrated a lack of consideration and would be more into communicating with family than being in the moment, chatting with a friend. Just want to be honest that even carefully choosing an activity where you should be likely to meet compatible souls doesn't always work....
I'd find a different yoga studio. I'm not even that big of a fan, but the few classes I have attended have never included electronic interruptions. That's crazy!
First up it is important to remember that not every activity will necessarily lead to new friends. It is a process of trial and error. As you found with yoga there was a significant age difference between the students. That doesn't mean ALL activities will be like this. You also have to give things a bit of time to develop since new friendships don't seem to happen as easily as they do when we are in school.
I have met some great friends through activities like sports and volunteering. you just need to find the right one for you and work at building those connections.
I'd find a different yoga studio. I'm not even that big of a fan, but the few classes I have attended have never included electronic interruptions. That's crazy!
Jrz, I do most of my yoga at the gym, but do go to a private yoga studio for Tibetan bowl meditation....and same thing (phone went off).
This has been going on for several years. At first people would immediately turn it off and apologize. Now the latest thing is to just let it keep ringing (makes it difficult to pinpoint whose phone it is exactly). Most instructors remind people to turn it off, but not everyone complies.
Picklejuice, don't think I'd like bridge (or could learn it!).
At 62, you may have better luck looking into activities for seniors. There are LOTS of boomers making life changes and looking for new friends and activities. It can take an adjustment in thinking to consider yourself a "senior", I know, but there are many active, youngish seniors.
Your taking a bit of a leap, saying you want to be in a class with like minded people (no technology), yet you dont vet the classes to see if thats what they actually are. You are assuming they are what you want. Apparently they arent.
If you are looking for like minded people in a yoga class, ASK before you join up to find out if its the kind of people you are interested in. Dont assume.
One of the most often-offered advice on here is to get out and partake in activities that you enjoy...and in the process, meet like-minded folks. Great suggestion theoretically...but has anyone else found this often doesn't play out in real life?
To give two recent examples, I participated in two mindful/fitness classes, which is my big interest area. Lots of like-minded folks? No! For yoga, as is typical, I was the oldest one there by 25 to 30 years! I do enjoy being with people of all different ages, but it can be difficult to convince a 30 year old to develop a friendship with a 62 yo. I live in a very diverse area, which makes it fascinating, but can also impede close relationships, especially with language barriers.
But aside from the age/language/cultural issues, what does get to me is that these classes aren't filled with like-minded people who want to escape from technology for an hour and be mindful. A young guy in yoga wouldn't stop using his phone even when class started...and then finally laid it down on his mat (yoga teachers have become resigned to people bringing their phones into the room---just ask that they be turned off---but people place it off their mat---the mat is supposed to be your sacred area).
I know that some posters will immediately respond that it is none of my business what someone else in yoga is doing---and to a large extent, that's correct. Even yoga teachers say this. But when the room is darkish, the light can be distracting---not to mention all the times that phone rings and people answer them!
Last night in tai chi (which is quiet and meditative, with just soft Chinese music playing), we heard electronic chirping. This happened at least four times. Yup, the goal is to be able to be so in the moment that this wouldn't be disruptive---but most of us aren't there yet. Finally the instructor asked what it was. A 65 yo guy explained that his daughters were texting him: "they type very fast, 160 words per minute." No apologies. He either turned it off or the daughters stopped texting. But here is a man who grew up without this technology and has spent an hour of his life without it. I could see forgetting to turn the phone off, but after the first notification, that would have been his cue.
So I can't say I see this guy as someone I would be interested in seeing outside of class since he demonstrated a lack of consideration and would be more into communicating with family than being in the moment, chatting with a friend. Just want to be honest that even carefully choosing an activity where you should be likely to meet compatible souls doesn't always work....
Well I blame your instructor for this. A good instructor says before class starts "please turn off any electronic devices as this is quiet time and we must think of others". Not let it continue.
Why don't you volunteer? At your local library or some type or organization that helps people? People who volunteer for the most part show they think about others, aren't flakes, you would find like minded people.
I took yoga, and loved it. But other than some quick hellos to familiar faces, never really talked to anyone, class started, it ended, and people left. Wasn't really an environment to talk much.
A class in an actual classroom where you actually talk and could suggest studying together could form friendships, but I think volunteering is the way to go.
I'd find a different yoga studio. I'm not even that big of a fan, but the few classes I have attended have never included electronic interruptions. That's crazy!
Exactly, this happened only one time when I took yoga. The instructor in a polite but firm manner dealt with it. I mean you can tell where the noise is coming from.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 514gal
First up it is important to remember that not every activity will necessarily lead to new friends. It is a process of trial and error. As you found with yoga there was a significant age difference between the students. That doesn't mean ALL activities will be like this. You also have to give things a bit of time to develop since new friendships don't seem to happen as easily as they do when we are in school.
I have met some great friends through activities like sports and volunteering. you just need to find the right one for you and work at building those connections.
Agree, it's a class that doesn't involve interaction between students. People come in, find a spot, usually want quiet, than class begins and ends. Not an environment to get to know people.
A book club is another way to meet people. You're actually talking. I belong to one and few of us go out to eat afterwards. Have one person I would say is a friend, and we have now done other things together.
Yoga is great and I think EVERYONE Should do it. But it is a lousy way to meet people. It's just not an activity that lends itself to socialization.
I don't know where you live, but I've never ever seen someone use a phone in a yoga class. Maybe the occasional failure to turn off a ringer, but not actually using it!
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Try a (contract) Bridge club.
