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Because the invite just says to just bring diapers and not gifts. She had a kid two years ago. Same sex as this new one. She's throwing this shower for herself and inviting people.
Yes there's stuff unrelated to this. My relatives don't treat me very well and I'm mad. It's an ongoing subject for a lot of these threads isn't it?
This goes against every etiquette book I have ever read. Even relatives aren't supposed to throw the wedding or baby shower; it's supposed to be done by a friend. It's tacky but these days it seems anything goes. Back in the "old days" before people knew the sex of their baby they had one baby shower and they received mostly yellow, green and white items plus the large gifts usually from family.
I can almost get on board with a second baby shower if the baby is a different sex but really unless the children are very close in age the parents aren't going to need cribs, car seats, etc.
If you don't want to go, don't go. There are so many threads with the same theme "should I go to my aunt's funeral, my cousin's wedding, my stepmother's baby shower", etc. People seem to be very indecisive these days.
[quote=seain dublin;44305411]Exactly, it is an entitlement mentality.
I'm invited to a wedding for a couple who have lived together for 5 years. Big elaborate wedding on their wedding website you can contribute to their house fund, honeymoon fund, etc. This is the trend now.
They make between them six figures, how about you save up money on your own for a down payment on a house. quote]
This drives me crazy - my cousin got married in February and she put on the invitation that they didn't need gifts please donate to their GoFundMe account for a house down payment! They only moved in together shortly before the wedding but I have seen numerous weddings lately where the couple have lived together for years, even have children together and want a big wedding with monetary gifts. WTH is up with that?
She is throwing a party to celebrate this new baby...it isn't *really* the same as a shower where a friend throws it for the expecting mom and she registers for gifts and such. She is throwing out a gift idea of diapers because a lot of people *will* want to bring the baby a gift and diapers are practical and you don't have to spend an arm and a leg on them.
You are invited...go or not go. Bring diapers or not. If you are going to be negative, stay home. If you want to go celebrate with them, go.
Yes, this. I would have been thrilled to receive an invite that only asked for diapers instead of a lengthy registry. The soon-to-be mother wants to have her friends over to celebrate her impending birth. It sounds low key, which it should be. I agree with HFB, go, or not, but don't think of it as a gift grab. It seems to be anything but.
I'm invited to a wedding for a couple who have lived together for 5 years. Big elaborate wedding on their wedding website you can contribute to their house fund, honeymoon fund, etc. This is the trend now.
They make between them six figures, how about you save up money on your own for a down payment on a house. quote]
This drives me crazy - my cousin got married in February and she put on the invitation that they didn't need gifts please donate to their GoFundMe account for a house down payment! They only moved in together shortly before the wedding but I have seen numerous weddings lately where the couple have lived together for years, even have children together and want a big wedding with monetary gifts. WTH is up with that?
Exactly, it's entitlement. Maybe all these reality shows about weddings has something to do with it?
Have the wedding you can afford, not everyone needs to have a big fancy wedding.
In the situation I mentioned I find it silly, the only thing changing is you have a piece of paper that says it's legal. Why not just have a small low key wedding, and the money saved can go to a down payment on a house?
Yes, this. I would have been thrilled to receive an invite that only asked for diapers instead of a lengthy registry. The soon-to-be mother wants to have her friends over to celebrate her impending birth. It sounds low key, which it should be. I agree with HFB, go, or not, but don't think of it as a gift grab. It seems to be anything but.
I'm ok with most of this as well.
The exception is the throwing it for herself part. That still rubs me the wrong way.
Because the invite just says to just bring diapers and not gifts. She had a kid two years ago. Same sex as this new one. She's throwing this shower for herself and inviting people.
In this case, the shower doesn't bother me *because* it's just a diaper shower. It's clearly not a ploy to score everything on the registry. It's just an opportunity to celebrate the baby (every baby deserves to be celebrated), while freeing the guests from the obligation of an expensive gift.
The only part that rubs me wrong is the fact that she's throwing it herself. That's a faux pas.
I'm from a culture where even one baby shower is a crass gift grab.
But as I understand it, yes, showers for each baby, plus gender reveals and all sorts of things are now acceptible. Doesn't mean you have to participate. A wordy email of regret should be enough.
I'm from a culture where even one baby shower is a crass gift grab.
But as I understand it, yes, showers for each baby, plus gender reveals and all sorts of things are now acceptible. Doesn't mean you have to participate. A wordy email of regret should be enough.
Why wordy? Why not simply "I regret I'm unable to attend" ?
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