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Old 06-26-2016, 12:57 AM
 
1,066 posts, read 1,010,817 times
Reputation: 807

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Well, about four weeks ago, I acquired a new friend on Facebook, in circumstances which I described in another post here. You can read there about the back history of which I only became aware shortly before encountering this person in a group we both belong to.

Since then there have been numerous chats between us, in which she's always sounded very friendly and enthusiastic. It's just been a purely friendly relationship, but one that I have valued highly, and in the course of these interactions it's become increasingly evident that here was the sort of friend I wish I had had in high school, but didn't. Among other things, it was she who encouraged me to upload myself playing guitar on YouTube, and I finally did it. I owe her a debt of gratitude for that.

So I published in on June 16, and shared it to all my FB friends. I realize now that so late in the week was not a good time to advertise it on FB, because as the weekend approaches people tend to be more focused on that. And this is even more true for weekends that include a holiday or traditional family activity like Father's day, as last Sunday indeed was. Be that as it may, I was in a chat with her at the time so I shared the link in the chat.

And since then...not a peep out of her, except for one "like" on a completely unrelated video I shared. Not only has she not responded to or commented on my guitar playing video in any way, but except for that one "like" she's been dead to world of Facebook. Except, that is, for the fact that I've noticed her marked "active" on Facebook, without having seen her publish any posts, comments, or reactions. Compared with the unusual friendliness and interest she showed over the first two or three weeks, I'm nonplussed by the way I'm being stone-cold ignored now.

It was probably beating a dead horse to do so, but I messaged her again on Wednesday to ask if she'd ever had a chance to watch my video. It's been read, but still....NOTHING! I'm angry and a little hurt.

Soooo....I decided to scroll through her posts over the years. I assume this is OK, because these are available for friends to view. And from a few years back, I came across this gem that she had shared, of which the salient quote is this:

Quote:

People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they're too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.
She went on to comment that she wants people like that out of her life.

So should I dramatically unfriend her or just passively ignore her? Part of me wants to message that quote to her saying, "BTW, do you remember sharing this? Apparently it's as true for me as it is for you..."

Goshdarnit, why am I so worked up over this?
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Old 06-26-2016, 01:13 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,487 posts, read 7,851,876 times
Reputation: 17444
If you make this big a deal over Facebook, you have issues that need to be addressed.
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Old 06-26-2016, 01:17 AM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,775 posts, read 59,682,680 times
Reputation: 166142
There's just no explaining actions of people we don't really know. Might find some help in this thread....

How Does Someone Gets 50 to 60 Likes On Facebook For Their Posts While I get just 8 or 10?
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Old 06-26-2016, 01:26 AM
 
1,066 posts, read 1,010,817 times
Reputation: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by maggie2101 View Post
If you make this big a deal over Facebook, you have issues that need to be addressed.
It's really not about FB, but about a friendship to a specific person, which happens to be maintained through FB's infrastructure.
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Old 06-26-2016, 03:12 AM
 
Location: Virginia-Shenandoah Valley
7,619 posts, read 12,597,553 times
Reputation: 7244
Seriously? You come here for advice on FB? My advice, sign out of FB and find something that won't bother you so much.
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Old 06-26-2016, 08:25 AM
 
26,154 posts, read 17,467,670 times
Reputation: 17241
Quote:
Originally Posted by maggie2101
If you make this big a deal over Facebook, you have issues that need to be addressed.
Ya I dont wanna sound mean but the best thing to do is GET OFF FACEBOOK!!!

Take your life back while ya still can


Good luck Those Who Squirm ... Dont let her drama bother ya buddy!!
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Old 06-26-2016, 10:02 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 16,323,740 times
Reputation: 36986
Facebook is dumb.

I think she watched your video/guitar playing and thought you sucked/stunk.

FYI:

Some people will withdrawal from someone they feel embarrassed for or about. It is crappy, but common. If you had true talent, she would be on you like a duck on a junebug.

Last edited by picklejuice; 06-26-2016 at 11:04 AM..
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Old 06-26-2016, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
13,531 posts, read 7,826,295 times
Reputation: 21266
I'm tired of reading about the evils of Facebook on a message board where people are essentially doing the same thing, only to the entire world instead of their selected friends. Seems like that is the standard answer from so many and it does not help.


Now back to the problem. Um....it's not a big problem. The OP IMO is acting like a 16 year old girl. Hell she may very well be a 16 year old girl so if that's the case then it's OK. What I'm trying to say is relax, stop getting so worked up about something so small, and enjoy the fact that this person convinced you to post a link on YouTube. If this person disappears or scales way back, well they were cyber friends. This is is not your sister, there will be others.
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Old 06-26-2016, 04:19 PM
 
Location: CasaMo
15,972 posts, read 8,484,991 times
Reputation: 18502
This is more to do about how friendships are built and how they aren't than it is about facebook. So whether you use social media or you don't, you need to accept the fact that sometimes real friendships develop and sometimes people enter and exit your life.

So its easy to not even bother to read the details of the OP and say "Get off facebook", but there's more to it than that and has always been the case even before cyber world existed.
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Old 06-27-2016, 12:46 AM
 
6,720 posts, read 3,905,057 times
Reputation: 29763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Those Who Squirm View Post

So should I dramatically unfriend her or just passively ignore her? Part of me wants to message that quote to her saying, "BTW, do you remember sharing this? Apparently it's as true for me as it is for you..."

Goshdarnit, why am I so worked up over this?
Don't do either. Just go about your life and focus on things that happen in real life. Social Media isn't good for anyone, it plays tricks on your mind and your being.
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