Is it normal for an Adult to have NO Friends? (females, males)
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Sometimes people grow apart. More often people just do not have as much time as they once did to spend with one another due to other more important obligations. Other times people work so much they do not have time to facilitate many relationships. However, I believe for the most part that people tend to have at least one friend. But what about people who have absolutely none?
Now, this isn't really a discussion of happiness or if someone can be happy in solitude. Really, I feel like that argument has been settled: Human beings *generally* require some interaction with other human beings to not fall into bewildering depression. Mind you, if you have family or a significant other, the no friend thing may not matter. But this is for people who have no family and no BF or GF. Or even if you do have those you do not consider them 'friends'.
Personally, I believe America culture is structured in such a way that it breeds a sub segment of society that become and remain friendless for most of their adult lives. This belief leads me to ask the question:
Is it normal for an Adult to have NO Friends?
No, it isn't normal. To have a friend, you have to be a friend. Volunteer or do something good for others and you will make friends. There are tons of opportunities. Maybe some of the people you are referring to just don't get out and try....
it's more normal for males to have no friends than for females. females seem to have a larger and stronger social network.
nowadays, i have acquaintances, not friends, and no "significant other". i am perfectly okay with that. i get my interaction with people at work daily. after that, i socialize on my terms, which is rarely. after bad experiences, having friends seems overrated and too much hassle to me.
in my late 20's, it is nearly impossible to make friends anyway. the halfway decent people have "significant others" and want nothing to do with singles
I think it's better-than-normal to have no friends; it proves you can stand on your own without needing others. Most people use and are used just out of fear of being alone.
I agree that, with the breakdown of family and highly mobile nature of our society -- and now added to that the fact that most people just sit indoors on their computers all day -- it's more difficult than ever to build and maintain genuine relationships. And some won't settle for less.
it's more normal for males to have no friends than for females. females seem to have a larger and stronger social network.
True statement.. although I am the exception to the rule.
I am in my early 40's, no kids (by choice) and not married (by choice). I live in a state with no family (by choice).
Recently I had one BFF but a male appendage came in between us. OK, that was the wrong choice of words -LOL - but let's just say I was left sucking my thumb while she was off.... well, you get the idea. I spent a lot of weekends not doing much and feeling lonely. Then one day I started looking forward to not doing much on weekends and being happy alone. During the week I volunteer, I work, I travel, I socialize and on the weekends I just want quiet. It is hard for me to maintain friendships because I don't want to put in the effort on the days that count. Like the Friday night happy hour or Saturday afternoon festival.
If I can find a person, like me, who wants to have a standing dinner date every Wednesday, I'm there. Otherwise....
Now, with that said, I know it is not "normal" as defined by most in society but for now it is normal for me.
I will admit, however, that it would be nice to have that friend who can pick me up from the service station if my car breaks down but I figured Enterprise Rental Car works well, too.
I find that as I age my friends become younger and younger. Eventually I could see myself being that "cool old guy". As someone who never married or did the suburban settle down lifestyle I find my peer group runs younger. Most people my age are settled down in the 9-5 routine. I pretty much still live like a college student and will probably always will.
The older I get, the less I need friends. I would describe the people with whom I socialize as acquaintances. Most of my family has died, with some stalwart holdouts here and there scattered across the country. I'm an introvert by nature and find that my interactions at work are more than sufficient time spent with other humans. By the time the weekend rolls around, I am more than content to potter around my apartment alone. As for significant others, I've been in numerous relationships and I tend to tire easily of all that "togetherness". I can take intimacy in small doses, but it becomes overwhelming when on a full-time basis. For some reason, men tend to want to pin me down and get me to commit to something much larger than I'd like.
Does this make me strange? Perhaps. But I think that now I'm in my 30s, I have a better grasp of my personality and my needs/wants. I rarely experience depression such as I felt when I forced myself to interact with others more than was comfortable for me.
This belief leads me to ask the question:
Is it normal for an Adult to have NO Friends?
Thoughts?
I don't think it is "normal" but there is nothing wrong with it. I like the word "typical" better.
The majority of people, I assume, like having buds to do stuff with. Being alone a lot is fine too but occasionally going out to a shared event you enjoy with others makes it more fun IMO.
For example, I like to go to baseball games. Going alone it is not nearly as fun as with others.
I prefer to have "real" friends - most of mine are long term and very cool decent ppl who have shared interests with me.
I just assume if one has no friends they prefer it that way or are lacking in social skills. Some ppl really do not care to have friends, so be it.
I have people with whom I do things -- for hobbies, I tend toward activities that are done with others -- but would terms these "acquaintances" rather than true friends. And that's fine with me. Too many disappointments with other people, too much stress to make romantic relationships "work," too many heartbreaks when loved ones die, or just happy with my own company; however you want to term it! The older you get, the more you realize that you're ultimately in this alone anyway. But I agree that "typical" is a better descriptor than "normal."
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