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Old 08-08-2016, 12:38 PM
 
8,138 posts, read 5,496,279 times
Reputation: 5939

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Ok let's try this again...

I have a friend. In a conversation my former neighbor told everyone that I hate her. I reached out to let her know that was certainly not the case and apologized for giving that impression.

This was the best way I could think of to handle it but I could be wrong. How would you handle this?
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Old 08-08-2016, 01:03 PM
 
1,791 posts, read 1,944,626 times
Reputation: 13586
How old is this "friend"? 12? That's middle-school behavior.


If I felt an "apology" were appropriate, I'd make sure I offered it in the presence of as many witnesses as possible. If her reaction was as immature as her accusation makes her appear to be, that would tell the grownups in the room everything they need to know about her.
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Old 08-08-2016, 01:14 PM
 
8,138 posts, read 5,496,279 times
Reputation: 5939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaofan View Post
How old is this "friend"? 12? That's middle-school behavior.


If I felt an "apology" were appropriate, I'd make sure I offered it in the presence of as many witnesses as possible. If her reaction was as immature as her accusation makes her appear to be, that would tell the grownups in the room everything they need to know about her.
I thought the same thing, but apparently this has been festering for over a year which is causing other people to not talk to me.

She is mid 20's. Other friends in group were 40-44, but they are still in the go out every night party phase. I can't not do I have time for that type of social activities
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Old 08-08-2016, 01:37 PM
 
2,053 posts, read 1,389,336 times
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You need new friends.

If people are really your friends, they'd know to talk to you to get the truth and not rely on something that a friend of a friend said.
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Old 08-09-2017, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
3,567 posts, read 4,946,351 times
Reputation: 4966
I just put the hammer down HARD on a long time member of the community hall that was telling anyone that would listen that I wasn't interested in being on the Board. How she came to that conclusion since I haven't even SEEN her since the fall in problematic. People like this are just destructive; you have to come down hard on them to save your own rep.

You don't need to apologize for anything. I sent an email asking this nutcase to phone/call me and (nicely) explain where her brain was. Since she's three times older than your friends she doesn't have an excuse, except maybe on set dementia. She never called, and was removed from the Board.

I'd let your former neighbor know you're not impressed with her "advocacy" of YOUR business.
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Old 08-10-2017, 09:49 AM
 
2,166 posts, read 1,368,939 times
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Sounds like a bunch of pre-school nonsense.
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Old 08-10-2017, 10:57 AM
 
3,220 posts, read 2,879,886 times
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This is what makes me see red...
I'm not an advocate of "he said...she said..." It's hearsay, and I tell anybody who listens that you should NEVER rely on third party information! I've been through similar situations in the past, and like thedwightguy, I also lower the hammer on anyone who does this. I'll go after both the person who told me and that who allegedly said it. Bring both together and hash things out once and for all! And I won't be very tactful about it either!
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Old 08-10-2017, 11:01 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
19,762 posts, read 17,504,857 times
Reputation: 40218
[quote=LowonLuck;45055001]Ok let's try this again...

I have a friend. In a conversation my former neighbor told everyone that I hate her. I reached out to let her know that was certainly not the case and apologized for giving that impression.

This was the best way I could think of to handle it but I could be wrong. How would you handle this?[/quote]

yeah, I would have done the same. Did you call her?
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Old 08-10-2017, 11:18 AM
 
9,863 posts, read 5,464,290 times
Reputation: 30073
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Ok let's try this again...

I have a friend. In a conversation my former neighbor told everyone that I hate her. I reached out to let her know that was certainly not the case and apologized for giving that impression.

This was the best way I could think of to handle it but I could be wrong. How would you handle this?
Like most of your other life choices you discuss on this board, you make really terrible ones when it comes to your friends. People who behave this way provide lots of clues before they behave this way.
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Old 08-10-2017, 11:19 AM
 
2,166 posts, read 1,368,939 times
Reputation: 6027
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver;49142739[B
]Like most of your other life choices you discuss on this board,[/b] you make really terrible ones when it comes to your friends. People who behave this way provide lots of clues before they behave this way.
Seconded, it's like a bad SNL skit set in a trailer park.
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