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Old 09-17-2016, 02:32 PM
 
Location: England
1 posts, read 918 times
Reputation: 10

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So basically I had really bad breakup with my girl friend and about two weeks after two of my other friends got together. When they first started dating they wouldn't stop kissing and cuddling and I felt like they were really shoving it in my face every time we met up, even when it is with other people. I cant help but feel jealous of their relationship because I see them being happy and just think about how bad all my relationships have gone. I see them doing all the things I have wanted to do with a significant other and it makes me angry and depressed, for instance when we leave school in a few months the whole year dress up and our group are going as adventure time characters and they are going as Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. I have always wanted to dress up as them with someone I am going out with and Marceline is my favourite character. And prom, they say we will go as a group but I know that they will go together and be all cuddly and kissy. I know it sounds really pathetic but every time I think of them it makes me to cry and punch something at the same time. Like I really like each of them but I feel like my jealousy might ruin my friendships with them and I might hurt them through my own frustration. I cant express how crap I feel by even getting annoyed by them being together but I just cant seem to stop. I have tried to talk to one of them but I can never seem to get across what I mean or she just doesn't listen to me or laughs it off. They both have said in the past "oh you'll find the one", or , "Well find you a wife" but I'm I school and I don't think anyone else in my school would swing that way, if you know what I mean (I'm a lesbian). I feel so alone and they are so happy it just pisses me off. I've tried to avoid them but its hard when they have the same friends as you and you see them every day in school.
How can I stop feeling this jealous??
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Old 09-18-2016, 08:51 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,631 posts, read 47,766,032 times
Reputation: 48388
Quote:
Originally Posted by undia View Post
So basically I had really bad breakup with my girl friend and about two weeks after two of my other friends got together. When they first started dating they wouldn't stop kissing and cuddling and I felt like they were really shoving it in my face every time we met up, even when it is with other people. I cant help but feel jealous of their relationship because I see them being happy and just think about how bad all my relationships have gone. I see them doing all the things I have wanted to do with a significant other and it makes me angry and depressed, for instance when we leave school in a few months the whole year dress up and our group are going as adventure time characters and they are going as Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. I have always wanted to dress up as them with someone I am going out with and Marceline is my favourite character. And prom, they say we will go as a group but I know that they will go together and be all cuddly and kissy. I know it sounds really pathetic but every time I think of them it makes me to cry and punch something at the same time. Like I really like each of them but I feel like my jealousy might ruin my friendships with them and I might hurt them through my own frustration. I cant express how crap I feel by even getting annoyed by them being together but I just cant seem to stop. I have tried to talk to one of them but I can never seem to get across what I mean or she just doesn't listen to me or laughs it off. They both have said in the past "oh you'll find the one", or , "Well find you a wife" but I'm I school and I don't think anyone else in my school would swing that way, if you know what I mean (I'm a lesbian). I feel so alone and they are so happy it just pisses me off. I've tried to avoid them but its hard when they have the same friends as you and you see them every day in school.
How can I stop feeling this jealous??
Therapy.... lots of therapy.
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Old 09-18-2016, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,196,815 times
Reputation: 51120
Are you in HS? If yes, when you go off to college you will meet lots of other lesbian and bi-sexual women. Frankly, most people meet "the love of their life" in college or as a young adult and not in HS history class.

It seems very hard right now but hang in there. It just seems so much worse (watching the kissing & cuddling) because you just broke up with someone.
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Old 09-19-2016, 07:32 AM
 
13,511 posts, read 19,303,939 times
Reputation: 16581
undia....what's the rush?..you got plenty of time to meet someone you'll care for and who will care for you.
Do you really need a SO to feel content and happy in life?
If you can't be happy on your own, what makes you think it's any diff when you're with someone else?

Who would want to be with someone who is so dependent on them for their own personal well being and joy.
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Old 09-19-2016, 11:06 AM
 
926 posts, read 754,900 times
Reputation: 872
Not sure what advice to give on this, other than I've been in this position before, and I remember how it feels.


Only in my case, it was having to see my younger sister getting together with the guy whom I liked (we were all in high school). I'd be the first to admit that I wasn't very gracious about seeing them together, and it caused a LOT of hard feelings on my end towards my sister.
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Old 09-19-2016, 12:24 PM
 
997 posts, read 939,433 times
Reputation: 2363
I guess you have to let it go. You know that you should be happy for your friends.

I get jealous of people who won the love lottery, but not that jealous. I am happy for them but it doesn't seem fair that some people get to have that in their life and others don't.

You are very young and you might be a winner. Your friends are in high school relationships and those don't usually last. Maybe, maybe not but probably they will break up.

In the meantime, you will find your future and hopefully you will be a winner in the love lottery. This moment is transitory and your future will unfold. You will have what you need. Let them have their happy moments now because they might not have so much happiness in the future.

Try to be patient. Sometimes that's what it takes. You can be happy, or you can be miserable. That is your choice. You are choosing to be miserable, when you could choose to be patient. That is something you have control over.
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Old 09-19-2016, 02:39 PM
 
242 posts, read 301,125 times
Reputation: 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
undia....what's the rush?..you got plenty of time to meet someone you'll care for and who will care for you.
Do you really need a SO to feel content and happy in life?
If you can't be happy on your own, what makes you think it's any diff when you're with someone else?

Who would want to be with someone who is so dependent on them for their own personal well being and joy.
+1 on this. Focus on living your life and making yourself happy because in my experience people who think they can only be happy if they are with a partner tend to have the worst relationships. The people I know in happy relationships are the ones who take responsibility for their own happiness and view a relationship as something that is nice to have but not a necessity. Also when you say the jealousy makes you want to punch something you need to learn to control your emotions a little better because that is completely unacceptable.

You are young and have lots of time to date and meet someone so relax and focus on enjoying your time in high school together.
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