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How does one make friends with a female? it seems to be the hardest task ever, am I being too picky with which female I want to be friends with? I always try going after the good-looking young ones but I end up not doing so as they think im trying to hit on them, but im also just as young as they are and the same age, I don't have poor social-skills, I have friends who have the most good-looking female friends and I don't? Do you have to be good-looking to have female friends? I don't understand how its like being friends with females, I do better with guys at socializing but for some reason with females im just confused, im afraid to approach females also because of the fear of rejection, and not only that the cry for sexual-harassment or sexual-assault as I may think they are feminists, but I know they wont and aren't it might be a post dramatic stress that I have, I noticed most female friends only friends with those guys who they met in school or work and that's about it, they don't really accept strangers into there lives.
Last edited by Rockstar21; 10-07-2016 at 09:22 PM..
Why do your prospective female friends have to be young and good looking? Answer this and your problem might be solved.
This too.
And develop yourself. A guy with a crummy personality and no mastery of anything is not a good catch for any woman. I think the solution to your problem is to change yourself.
How does one make friends with a female? it seems to be the hardest task ever, am I being too picky with which female I want to be friends with? I always try going after the good-looking young ones but I end up not doing so as they think im trying to hit on them, but im also just as young as they are and the same age, I don't have poor social-skills, I have friends who have the most good-looking female friends and I don't? Do you have to be good-looking to have female friends? I don't understand how its like being friends with females, I do better with guys at socializing but for some reason with females im just confused, im afraid to approach females also because of the fear of rejection, and not only that the cry for sexual-harassment or sexual-assault as I may think they are feminists, but I know they wont and aren't it might be a post dramatic stress that I have, I noticed most female friends only friends with those guys who they met in school or work and that's about it, they don't really accept strangers into there lives.
As a who? Gay guy, straight guy, gay or straight woman? Slightly different answers, depending.
This is the most gender-neutral post, vis-a-vis OP's identity, seen by me in quite awhile...mildly curious if OP is a lesbian.
So alright, let's assume you're a hetero guy, for the sake of argument. I think most of the below may still apply to straight guys and lesbians equally:
- Referring to a woman who is "hot" yet you want to be a "friend" is a non sequitur. See "Ladder Theory:" ladder-jumping is a nonstarter/complete waste of valuable time and youth. If you're "going after the good looking hot ones," by all means: keep it going, that's what Tinder is for and I've certainly done my share of hookups and etc. Oh, wait: you mean as friends? Nuh uh!
- I've dated a woman or two, hasn't worked out, and we became friends after. I no longer found them attractive in that way, thus were more valuable and clicked better as friends. That's rare, but not unheard-of, in the normal course of dating and friendships.
- One of whom I call "inner circle" friends these days is a woman who is presentable, but I've never been particularly attracted to her and vice-versa. She's on Friend Ladder and I certainly won't be ladder-jumping, nor would she want me to, nor do I anticipate her making a pass at me either. We've actually discussed this a few times over the years, and it's a dumb idea for various reasons.
So, becoming the last woman's friend I mentioned above: being introduced through male friends back when she was friend-of-friend's wife (later, ex-wife), not ever hitting on her, not being a jerk, not leering/sneering/making juvenile sexual innuendo before I knew her (very) well as a friend, being kind and generous, and otherwise exemplifying traits the vast majority of women want in a friend. Including "being there," emotionally-speaking, when needed. Which is quite different than what men want in friendships, equally obviously.
How does one make friends with a female? it seems to be the hardest task ever, am I being too picky with which female I want to be friends with? I always try going after the good-looking young ones but I end up not doing so as they think im trying to hit on them, but im also just as young as they are and the same age, I don't have poor social-skills, I have friends who have the most good-looking female friends and I don't? Do you have to be good-looking to have female friends? I don't understand how its like being friends with females, I do better with guys at socializing but for some reason with females im just confused, im afraid to approach females also because of the fear of rejection, and not only that the cry for sexual-harassment or sexual-assault as I may think they are feminists, but I know they wont and aren't it might be a post dramatic stress that I have, I noticed most female friends only friends with those guys who they met in school or work and that's about it, they don't really accept strangers into there lives.
You sure about that?
Why do you refer to women as "females" and men as "guys" rather than "males"?
First of all, stop calling them "female" it sounds like you're sitting on the Serengeti describing wildlife.
View them as people. That might be a good start.
Shot I caught north of the Serengeti (Chobe National Park), Botswana, just over a year ago.
Pretty sure it's a male, though. Nor am I clear if it thought of the remaining herd as 'friends'. Guessing not; elephants know better
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