invited to my daughter husbands family for thankgiven (husband, person, retired)
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I have been invited before for thanksgiving and xmas but hubby had throat cancer and is still on a feeding tube. I did go yesterday and naturally I brought a home made dessert. I was always taught to 1. bring something 2. ask what you can do to help.
I asked if there was any thing I could do to help and my inlaw mom said no I got everything under control. I sat down when everthing was ready and we had a nice dinner. I asked what can I do to help you clean up and with out breaking stride she said you can clean up and do the dishes lol, and every body got up an walked away and went into the livingroom.
Now correct me if I am wrong. But to just leave me to clean every thing and all the pots and pans and dishes. no offer to dry so after I filled the sink with hot soapy water I rinsed all the dishes and placed them in the hot soapy basin. thank got there are 2 sinks. They have a huge table so I just soaked all the pots and pans and bowls and placed them on the table.
There is no room to put anything since the counter space was clutter. After washing all the dishes I walked into the living room and said to my daughter Jessica I need you to help me atleast dry the dishes as I threw her a dish towel and walked back into the kitchen. I said just place them on the talble in stacks.
She said to me mom you are so stupid to ask if there was anything to do to help. I whispered to her I didn't expect to have to clear the table and scrape all the dishes into the garbadge and trust me I wont be making this mistake again. I finished after about a hour and left everything in piles on the table.
jess, finished with you can dry the rest and walked away again I'm alone drying all the pots and pans and glasses. In all the years I have been invited out to someones house and offered to give the mom a hand I never was made to clean everything by my self again there was 12 people. If I am invited to xmas dinner I have learned my lesson and will not be asking what can I do to help you clean up.
Am I over reacting my husband said no that they left you to handle everything and it was your first time being over there.
thoughts? am I over reacting? I don't think so my feelings were hurt. the nerve. It was the first time since they got married that I have seen the parent of my daughters husband oh and I had 4 grandkids running around the whole time I was trying to get everything done.
lesson learned for sure. oh I did get a thank you when I walked into the living room and collapsed.
Are you seriously telling us your daughter didn't come in to help you until you asked her too? FOR 12 PEOPLE?? No way!! No way no how!!Jeez- these threads just keep getting better and better-I just finished reading a thread where a couple invited people they just met 2 minutes ago for thanksgiving dinner and wondered why they didn't show up and now this- I swear- you can't make this S**! up! Sorry OP you were dissed big time- and you are even considering going back for Christmas dinner? If you do go just show up in a french maids uniform- bless your heart- (and give your daughter a swift kick in the a$$ for me) she should have had your back and marshaled the forces to help you...................people...........
I don't think you're overreacting at all. It's very rude to invite someone for dinner and then make them do all of the cleanup, especially for 12 people.
Yes, it's nice for guests to help out but not to make that one person do everything. I can't believe no one else offered to help you. Your daughter and her husband should've helped you or done the cleanup and let you relax.
I have been invited before for thanksgiving and xmas but hubby had throat cancer and is still on a feeding tube. I did go yesterday and naturally I brought a home made dessert. I was always taught to 1. bring something 2. ask what you can do to help.
I asked if there was any thing I could do to help and my inlaw mom said no I got everything under control. I sat down when everthing was ready and we had a nice dinner. I asked what can I do to help you clean up and with out breaking stride she said you can clean up and do the dishes lol, and every body got up an walked away and went into the livingroom.
Now correct me if I am wrong. But to just leave me to clean every thing and all the pots and pans and dishes. no offer to dry so after I filled the sink with hot soapy water I rinsed all the dishes and placed them in the hot soapy basin. thank got there are 2 sinks. They have a huge table so I just soaked all the pots and pans and bowls and placed them on the table.
There is no room to put anything since the counter space was clutter. After washing all the dishes I walked into the living room and said to my daughter Jessica I need you to help me atleast dry the dishes as I threw her a dish towel and walked back into the kitchen. I said just place them on the talble in stacks.
She said to me mom you are so stupid to ask if there was anything to do to help. I whispered to her I didn't expect to have to clear the table and scrape all the dishes into the garbadge and trust me I wont be making this mistake again. I finished after about a hour and left everything in piles on the table.
jess, finished with you can dry the rest and walked away again I'm alone drying all the pots and pans and glasses. In all the years I have been invited out to someones house and offered to give the mom a hand I never was made to clean everything by my self again there was 12 people. If I am invited to xmas dinner I have learned my lesson and will not be asking what can I do to help you clean up.
Am I over reacting my husband said no that they left you to handle everything and it was your first time being over there.
thoughts? am I over reacting? I don't think so my feelings were hurt. the nerve. It was the first time since they got married that I have seen the parent of my daughters husband oh and I had 4 grandkids running around the whole time I was trying to get everything done.
lesson learned for sure. oh I did get a thank you when I walked into the living room and collapsed.
No they were seriously seriously rude to you.
But I think you would have been OK to do a portion of the clean up and then leave the rest for, I don't know, the hosts? Or come out of the kitchen after surveying the work, and say "uh, guys , I'm more than happy to help you but this is too much work for me. I'll need at least three extra pairs of hands. Here, Lisa you put the food away, Sarah you scrape and rinse the plates, and Bessie you do the glasses and I'll start on the flatware ".
lFor example, if it were me, I probably would have done part of the work, such as stacked all the plates, put all the flatware in a tub of water and soap, poured water in the pans, wiped Down the counter. I wouldn't have also washed and dried.
I have been invited before for thanksgiving and xmas but hubby had throat cancer and is still on a feeding tube. I did go yesterday and naturally I brought a home made dessert. I was always taught to 1. bring something 2. ask what you can do to help.
I asked if there was any thing I could do to help and my inlaw mom said no I got everything under control. I sat down when everthing was ready and we had a nice dinner. I asked what can I do to help you clean up and with out breaking stride she said you can clean up and do the dishes lol, and every body got up an walked away and went into the livingroom.
Now correct me if I am wrong. But to just leave me to clean every thing and all the pots and pans and dishes. no offer to dry so after I filled the sink with hot soapy water I rinsed all the dishes and placed them in the hot soapy basin. thank got there are 2 sinks. They have a huge table so I just soaked all the pots and pans and bowls and placed them on the table.
There is no room to put anything since the counter space was clutter. After washing all the dishes I walked into the living room and said to my daughter Jessica I need you to help me atleast dry the dishes as I threw her a dish towel and walked back into the kitchen. I said just place them on the talble in stacks.
She said to me mom you are so stupid to ask if there was anything to do to help. I whispered to her I didn't expect to have to clear the table and scrape all the dishes into the garbadge and trust me I wont be making this mistake again. I finished after about a hour and left everything in piles on the table.
jess, finished with you can dry the rest and walked away again I'm alone drying all the pots and pans and glasses. In all the years I have been invited out to someones house and offered to give the mom a hand I never was made to clean everything by my self again there was 12 people. If I am invited to xmas dinner I have learned my lesson and will not be asking what can I do to help you clean up.
Am I over reacting my husband said no that they left you to handle everything and it was your first time being over there.
thoughts? am I over reacting? I don't think so my feelings were hurt. the nerve. It was the first time since they got married that I have seen the parent of my daughters husband oh and I had 4 grandkids running around the whole time I was trying to get everything done.
lesson learned for sure. oh I did get a thank you when I walked into the living room and collapsed.
That is a horrible way to treat any guest. Like you, I was taught to always ask if there was anything I could do to help. Most often, the hostess would say, "No, thanks, I've got it," or once in a while she would say, "How about I wash, you dry," or something like that, but never in my life have I heard of the hostess laying it all on a guest (even if family/in-law) like they were her personal slave labor.
I would have been in there crying like Cinderella. If you go there next year, your hostess gift should be a box of Brillo pads and a dishcloth.
You should have just put the dishes on the floor for the dog to lick clean. After the dog finished, put them in the cabinet. Then announce what you did, as you are leaving.
I blame your daughter and not you. She should have stepped up to help you clean up.
The in laws should have split the duties too since you said help not do it by yourself.
Honestly I would not return there for meals. Maybe if invited for a show up party...
Sorry you were treated such a way
OH WOW, I would have TOLD your daughter to help AND her husband! I would never expect a guest to do all of that work. I actually think it's quite rude of them and if I was you I would NEVER return!!
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