Going out alone (person, holiday, sister, retirement)
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I am pretty social in general, but like most people, i need "quiet time" and "me time." I usually fulfill this with some weekend rituals. Maybe grabbing breakfast or coffee at a cafe. Or going somewhere to read a book (or my Kindle). Or I might go on a walk or a bike ride.
This time of year can get pretty hectic and overwhelming, and this fall has been stressful for me at work and in my personal life, so this quiet time is more needed than ever!
So over the weekend I had an interesting experience. I was out an about - reading in a cafe and then I grabbed some lunch at a restaurant by myself.
As I was settling the bill, an older man (probably my dad's age) decided to strike up a conversation.
"Oh I have noticed a trend, particularly for women about your age. You guys are just going out alone - movies, restaurants or whatever if your friends can't go. It is interesting. Good for you."
I really didn't bother to explain to him that it was intentional. I wanted the alone time and didn't even think about inviting anyone!
I also hate shopping for myself with other people, and just go on my own. I will accompany and help other people, but it is more efficient for me to get my stuff by myself.
I actually always go alone shopping and often do lunch alone. I love that my adult kids like to go occasionally, but like you....it seems to turn into more trouble than it is worth if I really intended to buy things.
I'm in my 60's, and I've done this all of my adult life. I find it normal.
I've always is done things alone--eat, have a drink, shop, see a movie or a play.....I grew up in NYC where that is utterly normal. I've never understood why people are self-conscious about it. Do people actually see a person dining alone and determine they are doing so because they are friendless and unlovable? LOL.
Some people are weird about it though. I've had people in other countries act like I was either the saddest or the loosest person alive because I was a woman travelling alone.
I am pretty social in general, but like most people, i need "quiet time" and "me time." I usually fulfill this with some weekend rituals. Maybe grabbing breakfast or coffee at a cafe. Or going somewhere to read a book (or my Kindle). Or I might go on a walk or a bike ride.
This time of year can get pretty hectic and overwhelming, and this fall has been stressful for me at work and in my personal life, so this quiet time is more needed than ever!
So over the weekend I had an interesting experience. I was out an about - reading in a cafe and then I grabbed some lunch at a restaurant by myself.
As I was settling the bill, an older man (probably my dad's age) decided to strike up a conversation.
"Oh I have noticed a trend, particularly for women about your age. You guys are just going out alone - movies, restaurants or whatever if your friends can't go. It is interesting. Good for you."
I really didn't bother to explain to him that it was intentional. I wanted the alone time and didn't even think about inviting anyone!
I also hate shopping for myself with other people, and just go on my own. I will accompany and help other people, but it is more efficient for me to get my stuff by myself.
Apparently this is weird? I don't know!
So do you go out alone? What do you do?
No, it's not weird. I think that gentleman was just trying to make conversation. Maybe he thought you were cute, and needed an excuse to say "hello". Or maybe he's a transplant from a more conservative region, and didn't know women have been doing this since, IDK, the 60's or 70's.
Women in his own generation have been going out to restaurants and movies, etc., alone since their college and post-college years, lol. He makes himself sound like he's from the WWII generation, or something. Don't pay his remark any mind. You're perfectly normal.
I often go on holiday on my own and then end up going to restaurants, pubs, bars, excursions etc. during the trip. I do get the occasional "you're here by yourself, that's so brave" comment but it doesn't bother me.
I don't tend to do it when I'm at home, maybe I should! I need a lot of "me time" and enjoy spending time by myself.
Went to the cinema on my own last month which I had never done before. It was for a documentary and none of my friends wanted to watch it lol. I'm glad I went!
I often go on holiday on my own and then end up going to restaurants, pubs, bars, excursions etc. during the trip. I do get the occasional "you're here by yourself, that's so brave" comment but it doesn't bother me.
I don't tend to do it when I'm at home, maybe I should! I need a lot of "me time" and enjoy spending time by myself.
Went to the cinema on my own last month which I had never done before. It was for a documentary and none of my friends wanted to watch it lol. I'm glad I went!
The biggest "problem" I find when doing it locally, is when later I go to the same place with my sister she gets puzzled that I am known and she is not.
(I tend to be a memorable patron I have no idea why, so usually the second visit to a place gets a friendly greeting.)
I am pretty social in general, but like most people, i need "quiet time" and "me time." I usually fulfill this with some weekend rituals. Maybe grabbing breakfast or coffee at a cafe. Or going somewhere to read a book (or my Kindle). Or I might go on a walk or a bike ride.
This time of year can get pretty hectic and overwhelming, and this fall has been stressful for me at work and in my personal life, so this quiet time is more needed than ever!
So over the weekend I had an interesting experience. I was out an about - reading in a cafe and then I grabbed some lunch at a restaurant by myself.
As I was settling the bill, an older man (probably my dad's age) decided to strike up a conversation.
"Oh I have noticed a trend, particularly for women about your age. You guys are just going out alone - movies, restaurants or whatever if your friends can't go. It is interesting. Good for you."
I really didn't bother to explain to him that it was intentional. I wanted the alone time and didn't even think about inviting anyone!
I also hate shopping for myself with other people, and just go on my own. I will accompany and help other people, but it is more efficient for me to get my stuff by myself.
Apparently this is weird? I don't know!
So do you go out alone? What do you do?
I used to take lunch alone on a day off from work. It was my little gift to me. And I've never shopped for myself with anyone else. Rarely have I gone with a sibling. But mostly I shop by myself and have for about 45 years. I agree it is the most efficient way. And it is one time when you can think solely about yourself and what you like and need.
In retirement I might take lunch out, just by myself after a doctor's appointment. It is a treat I am happy to give myself. If I am out shopping, I might do lunch by myself then as well. I don't get to do this on a regular basis though. I would love to start. Maybe I should.
I go most places alone-movies, dinner, museums, etc. If a friend is available AND would like the activity, I invite them. But I never shop with anyone.
After being married for what seemed forever, I was suddenly alone a lot. It took some doing to overcome the loss of that other person on my daily jaunts around town or road trips by myself. After a bit though I'd have to say I found some liberation in that aloneness, the absolute solitude can be good for one's perspective on things. One of the perks is that tendency of things to quiet down, time to ponder all kinds of things becomes a norm and not uncomfortable at all.
I went out to eat, long drives, bookstore meanderings and doing anything with that new perspective of solitude. The modern society is actually encouraging more solitude, most people are so self involved that those seated next to the are often ignored in favor of looking at their facebook page, I'm glad the OP has found some satisfaction in her own company, I feel sorriest for those who can't.
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