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We are Asian indians and my son is 5yr old special kid.
At school he has teaching full time aid. And she is very adorable and I think in her late 50's.
I have met her multiple times and my wife see her every day when she goes to pick my son from school. And my wife is very fond of her.
We both met her husband who also works in the school and admirable company.
They invited us for dinner at their home and me & my wife in dilemma / debating over which gift to give.
Considering the fact that she takes care of our (special ) son great, we think this is best time to show our gratitude to her but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings due to my ignorance of culture.
I'm open to budget around 100 bucks. .. and willing to reconsider if necessary.
Any suggestions?
I'm reiterating that it's just to show her how much we appreciate our acquintance. Nothing more than that.
This is a good question. For one thing, it's common in our culture for guests to bring a "hostess gift" to dinner. This is often a bottle of wine, or a dessert pastry of some sort. Something that says, "Thank you for inviting us to dinner." At first, I was going to suggest something like that. But you want your gesture to communicate more than simply "thank you for dinner". OTOH, you don't want to go too far. $100 is too much, and isn't necessary for the occasion.
Are there any stores where you live that carry mementoes from India, something nice from your own culture? You could bring wine or dessert, then a modest gift with a card expressing your appreciation for her care of your son, something that they could keep, that would remind them of you.
I would not use the dinner occasion to show your gratitude, presumably you are there socially, not on your son's behalf. A hostess gift is customary, of flowers, candy, wine, etc.
You can offer a gift of thanks for her professional help at the end of the year when it would be more appropriate. At that time a gift certificate for a restaurant or a store she likes would be fine, but some school set limits on the monetary value of gifts employees can accept. A letter of appreciation ( with a copy to her principal) is always welcome.
I would not use the dinner occasion to show your gratitude, presumably you are there socially, not on your son's behalf. A hostess gift is customary, of flowers, candy, wine, etc.
You can offer a gift of thanks for her professional help at the end of the year when it would be more appropriate. At that time a gift certificate for a restaurant or a store she likes would be fine, but some school set limits on the monetary value of gifts employees can accept. A letter of appreciation ( with a copy to her principal) is always welcome.
I respectfully disagree. This is a social event and if the couple wants to buy something nice they should do it now, in addition to the token bottle of wine or flowers.
If they do it in a more professional manner, she may be required to refuse the gift because of her employer's policies.
Whatever gift is chosen, I think that a heartfelt thank-you card will matter the most. Teachers and aides get so little recognition. Good for you for being so thoughtful.
I would not use the dinner occasion to show your gratitude, presumably you are there socially, not on your son's behalf. A hostess gift is customary, of flowers, candy, wine, etc.
You can offer a gift of thanks for her professional help at the end of the year when it would be more appropriate. At that time a gift certificate for a restaurant or a store she likes would be fine, but some school set limits on the monetary value of gifts employees can accept. A letter of appreciation ( with a copy to her principal) is always welcome.
Some school districts even keep letters of appreciation in the staff members file, which can come in handy for the employee when, or if, they downsize or transfer staff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NLVgal
I respectfully disagree. This is a social event and if the couple wants to buy something nice they should do it now, in addition to the token bottle of wine or flowers.
If they do it in a more professional manner, she may be required to refuse the gift because of her employer's policies.
Whatever gift is chosen, I think that a heartfelt thank-you card will matter the most. Teachers and aides get so little recognition. Good for you for being so thoughtful.
I was originally agreeing with Mattie, but then I realized that NLVgal has a good point. Some school districts are very strict about refusing valuable gifts, or gift cards, from parents.
I was originally agreeing with Mattie, but then I realized that NLVgal has a good point. Some school districts are very strict about refusing valuable gifts, or gift cards, from parents.
And I said as much in my post. But, that doesn't change my opinion on the appropriateness of bringing an expensive gift to dinner. I would feel embarrassed if it happened to me. Assuming the dinner invitation came because the hosts wanted to enjoy the company of the OP socially, it doesn't seem the right time to offer up a gift for professional services.
The OP should check on the school's rules. If there is a limit on gifts, then let the child bring in something now as a holiday gift, and something else at the end of the year.
And I said as much in my post. But, that doesn't change my opinion on the appropriateness of bringing an expensive gift to dinner. I would feel embarrassed if it happened to me. Assuming the dinner invitation came because the hosts wanted to enjoy the company of the OP socially, it doesn't seem the right time to offer up a gift for professional services.
The OP should check on the school's rules. If there is a limit on gifts, then let the child bring in something now as a holiday gift, and something else at the end of the year.
It doesn't have to be expensive. No one is recommending it be expensive. It's a gesture, and accompanied with a card with an appreciative note, it would be very effective.
I personally would also keep the gratitude for your son's care for another occasion. Your wife might offer to bring some kind of Indian desert but the hostess may already have something in mind.
You still have a lot of the school year left. You may make her feel a little awkward if you bring an expensive gift to her now. You can certainly offer a smaller gift, and a hostess gift such as flowers, or wine (it doesn't have to be something to drink that night). Save the more generous gesture for the end of the school year. I worked at my son's school last year and it can be uncomfortable if you have received generous gifts from students' families and you still have to work with these students.
I think I'm the anomaly. I really don't care for hostess gifts when I invite people over. My intention is to treat the person without any "gift" neceassry. If you must, I would NOT spend $100 -- that's embarrassingly excessive. Flowers are usually good.
I used to say wine was good, until I ran across a couple of people that are big wine experts and are too particular to shop for and they'd rather not have odd bottles lying around.
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