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Old 12-31-2016, 04:03 AM
 
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
134 posts, read 153,276 times
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I currently have at least one of those, what to do? and what are you experience with dealing with them?
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Old 12-31-2016, 04:17 AM
 
Location: Between West Chester and Chester, PA
2,808 posts, read 2,769,884 times
Reputation: 4887
I cut them out of my life.
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Old 12-31-2016, 04:38 AM
 
Location: Southwest Pa
1,440 posts, read 4,053,795 times
Reputation: 1694
Depends on a lot of things. Anything in particular or just on a general basis? Something of a matched reciprocation, round of beer for round of beer, or in general like I fixed your car now you fix me dinner?

But yes, I have lifelong friends I've helped over the years who have never repaid me "value for value" on the time invested, if one were keeping strict books. They've reciprocated in their own fashion and the friendship rises above such issues.

Other, casual type friends, are kept to a different standard but even then, so many variables. I send you birthday wishes every year and you don't send them back, no biggie. I loan you money, you pay it back and then refuse to loan me some when I need it, knowing I'll pay you back. We have an issue and need to recheck the parameters of the friendship.
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Old 12-31-2016, 07:17 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
27,627 posts, read 37,353,536 times
Reputation: 59928
If they are not reciprocating to the point that they are using, then the "friendship" fades away.

If someone is good company but never gives back, keep the friendship, but you stop giving. If they still stick around, they are a friend. If they disappear when you stop giving, they were not a friend.
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Old 12-31-2016, 08:45 AM
 
14,333 posts, read 8,592,547 times
Reputation: 49867
A friendship is not a business transaction. But if I feel that I am being taken for granted or taken advantage of, I reevaluate whether or not it's actually a friendship.
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Old 12-31-2016, 12:51 PM
 
10,194 posts, read 8,419,968 times
Reputation: 24068
It really depends on a lot of factors. Maybe share more specifics and people can answer better.
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Old 12-31-2016, 01:51 PM
 
5,402 posts, read 5,345,734 times
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Without some specifics it is difficult to guess your dilemma. Sometimes it is an expectations issue. Maybe you would do better with a collection of buddies to do things with but without expectations for more than that...like a running buddy, travel buddy, shopping buddy, going out to lunch buddy, etc.

True friends are precious & rare.
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Old 12-31-2016, 01:56 PM
 
2,536 posts, read 1,616,281 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by historyfan View Post

True friends are precious & rare.
At most, a handful during the course of a lifetime.

The reciprocity may play out over a considerable period. You may go out of your way to help a friend today, and he may do the same for you a few years down the road.
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Old 12-31-2016, 02:10 PM
 
997 posts, read 749,660 times
Reputation: 2341
Maybe they don't want to reciprocate in the way that you want to procate.

I don't know what the problem is. If someone sends me a Christmas card, I don't send one back. I don't do Christmas cards.

I have friends who have been broke and I would pay because I had money. I didn't expect them to owe me for that. It was just that I had the ability to host, and they didn't.

If I have a friend who never returns my calls, then I delegate them to the friend pile of people who are not active friends. Not active friends are those who you never see or talk to. They are still friends and I would send them a Christmas card if I did that.
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Old 12-31-2016, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
9,881 posts, read 20,213,940 times
Reputation: 6744
I had a few friends like that. I only have a few true friends.
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