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The thread about the women calling dibs on a table in a restaurant made me think back to something that happened a long time ago. I got called for jury duty along with hundreds of other people. We had to wait in a large room. Some people had seats, others did not. The clerk called everyone who needed a letter to give to their employer to the window. About half of the people in the room got up to get that letter, myself included. When I was done, I found an empty seat and sat down. The man sitting beside me told me that a lady (stranger to him) had asked him to save her seat for her. I was 8 moths pregnant at the time. I thought to myself, "everyone lost their seat in the shuffle and everyone had to find new seats and I'm not moving". I stayed put. When the lady came back she was furious with me. I ignored her. Shortly after people either got dismissed or called to different courtrooms. I saw her in the hall later that afternoon and she was still furious at me, the pregnant lady who stole "her seat".
Maybe I was in the wrong that day and I'm not sure I'd do the same thing again. It didn't occur to me to ask a stranger to hold a seat for me and it also didn't occur to me that I was entitled to have a seat the whole time in a room where many people were standing. In my view it was luck of the draw. If you found an empty seat, you got it, if not, oh well.
IMHO, since it was temporary just to go to a window, if she left her personal belongings on the chair, it was saved for her.
Kinda like in a doctor's office.
If the chair was empty, it is up for grabs.
All bets are off for the elderly and pregnant though!
"Furious" is pretty strong. How did you know she was furious hours later?
IMHO, since it was temporary just to go to a window, if she left her personal belongings on the chair, it was saved for her.
Kinda like in a doctor's office.
If the chair was empty, it is up for grabs.
All bets are off for the elderly and pregnant though!
"Furious" is pretty strong. How did you know she was furious hours later?
The chair was empty. Maybe "furious" is not the most accurate word. She was very angry in the moment and hours later she shot me the death glare as she walked down the hall.
Even though I was very pregnant, I would have given up the seat for an elderly or disabled person without a second thought.
Even though I was very pregnant, I would have given up the seat for an elderly or disabled person without a second thought.
Not all disabilities are visible though. She may have needed that chair just as much as you, for reasons that aren't as obvious as late stage pregnancy.
Ideally, the man should have said that someone asked him to save her seat, but that you could have his seat (assuming he was not also in need of a seat due to age or infirmity).
The chair was empty. Maybe "furious" is not the most accurate word. She was very angry in the moment and hours later she shot me the death glare as she walked down the hall.
Even though I was very pregnant, I would have given up the seat for an elderly or disabled person without a second thought.
Is this honestly an issue to devote so much time and energy into attempting to figure out?
Leave it in the past and move forward, no one really knows what they would do in a specific situation until the time they are in the situation and have to make a decision.
Is this honestly an issue to devote so much time and energy into attempting to figure out?
Of course not. I brought it up for discussion on a message board. That doesn't mean that it's something that I think about often or something that bothers me. Just curious about people's viewpoints on it. That is all.
IMHO, since it was temporary just to go to a window, if she left her personal belongings on the chair, it was saved for her.
Kinda like in a doctor's office.
If the chair was empty, it is up for grabs.
All bets are off for the elderly and pregnant though!
This!
I wonder though, was it very obvious that you were pregnant OP? I can't always tell when somebody is pregnant versus overweight for example.I use public transport frequently and at every stop I will look around to see if somebody (e.g. older people, pregnant ladies) might need my seat . I will admit that I am super careful offering my seat to women who I think might be pregnant as I don't want to cause offence. Maybe the lady in question just didn't realise that you were pregnant?
This reminds me of an article I read a couple of months ago. About a badge that was being trialled by London Underground, that "will see disabled passengers and those with hidden conditions, illnesses and injuries receive a blue badge to alert fellow passengers of their need for a seat on public transport."https://tfl.gov.uk/info-for/media/pr...-able-to-stand
I haven't heard anything about the trial since so not sure how successful it is!
I had someone give me the death stare because I didn't give up my seat for her on a bus, I was actually much more heavily pregnant than she was, I just didn't have a cute little scarf tied around my 'bump' to make sure everyone knew it (the trend where I lived at the time I was pregnant and honestly, the only way I could even tell she was pregnant). I didn't feel like explaining myself to her, and just let her stew. She didn't feel the need to give any of the guys on the bus any kind of attitude, of course.
The day before I actually gave birth, 9 days overdue, I was the only person on the bus that offered up my seat to an elderly lady. I couldn't believe it!
What happened to women looking out for each other!
If I were OP, I would've gotten been annoyed, but I still would've gotten up. And yes, I've been pregnant before, if that matters.
I've been in that jury duty situation before where everyone gets up, and what irks me is when I go back to my seat, someone else sat in it. I know it's open to anyone, but still. It's like in a college classroom after everyone gets up to turn in their paper, they go back to the same seat. I think it's only normal to expect your seat to still be there at jury duty. Guess not.
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