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They just had to have the reception at a fancy hall in NYC, but could only afford the small room. Since they had to cut the list way down, they invited only certain members of various households, offending a large part of each other's extended families. .
Well, some posters here would criticize them for inviting lots of people and spending beyond what they can afford. You are criticizing people who are doing the opposite. Seems like no matter what people do, they're going to get judged.
But, it doesn't matter because it wasn't your wedding. You weren't paying for it, were you?
You think it's acceptable to invite only parts of households? If you're inviting children, invite all the children. Why does one whole family get to go, but we can only bring two of our kids? Seems very strange to me. If you want the whole family, find a room you can afford. And, add this to everything else they were doing, and it all adds up to selfish behavior that many now former friends couldn't take for much longer.
Unbelievable. Some people are just extremely entitled. These days, I wouldn't travel 5 minutes to go to a wedding, let alone spend the money & time go to one halfway across the country.
Most marriages end in divorce anyway, so chances are these people getting married will have broken up within 5 years anyway. Good riddance.
Yes, a lot of entitlement these days.
When my brother got married 20 years ago I remember my late father telling relatives who lived on the other side of the country to not feel obligate to attend as he knew it was expensive and a long way to come.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22
Yep. Seen it quite a few times.
I think the people who have issues with big weddings, just shouldn't attend them, if it bugs them that much. If I know I'm not going to be happy somewhere, I don't go, most of the time.
Oh, if it was only that simple. As I mentioned my situation earlier when you say you can't make it, sometimes you get an attitude. I did.
The fact that you live 3,000 miles away, maybe haven't seen each other in more than a few years, have limited contact, and yes, even send a gift.
You have wronged them in their mind.
If you think this doesn't happen frequently, well than you would be wrong.
You think it's acceptable to invite only parts of households? If you're inviting children, invite all the children. Why does one whole family get to go, but we can only bring two of our kids? Seems very strange to me. If you want the whole family, find a room you can afford. And, add this to everything else they were doing, and it all adds up to selfish behavior that many now former friends couldn't take for much longer.
Can you be more specific? Some invites flat out say "sorry no children".
Was there a cut off age? As in was it your two older children invited who might be say over 12 and the younger ones not?
I would look at this way, it's less fancy outfits you have to go out and buy for kids who most likely won't wear it much and may grow out of it before the next event.
And, add this to everything else they were doing, and it all adds up to selfish behavior that many now former friends couldn't take for much longer.
But apparently, they decided to stop being friends with you first ( you said they were jealous of your big house). If they were that selfish and awful, you really should have cut the cord a long time ago.
What I'm trying to explain is that people don't have large weddings in order to receive gifts. It wouldn't work out monetarily, most of the time, if they did.
Also, I firmly believe a person can have a wedding of whatever size they want (including very large) and spend whatever they want on it. It's their wedding. It's their money. If they have 30 cousins and want to invite all of them, they are allowed to do this.
I didn't say you said anything! I specifically said what I did when I got married.
I do know people who have had large weddings and did expect to clean up on the gifts. Many people do milk it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22
For those of you complaining about how selfish and greedy the people you know are, perhaps it is time to make different kinds of friends. Just an idea.
Who said the selfish and greedy people we know are friends? These are my family members! I didn't pick them at all. They're absolutely nothing like my friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyDancer
All the folks jumping on the bolded phrase in outrage - did you read the rest of the surrounding paragaph? That was his/her point (or claim), that people are not throwing weddings just to get gifts on the same order of price magnitude in the hopes of breaking even.
I read her whole post. I know people who have had extravagant weddings that they didn't pay for just to collect the gifts and money. My own brother and both of my husband's sisters did this! The last wedding was a joke....miss uber religious who was a missionary preaching the word of god and condemning others for their sins....meanwhile she had a shotgun wedding! She did not pay for the wedding. Neither did her parents. A cousin paid for everything! That woman has paid for this girl since she was in high school. She always got everything she wanted. There are TONS of greedy people in this world!
I read her whole post. I know people who have had extravagant weddings that they didn't pay for just to collect the gifts and money. My own brother and both of my husband's sisters did this! The last wedding was a joke....miss uber religious who was a missionary preaching the word of god and condemning others for their sins....meanwhile she had a shotgun wedding! She did not pay for the wedding. Neither did her parents. A cousin paid for everything! That woman has paid for this girl since she was in high school. She always got everything she wanted. There are TONS of greedy people in this world!
Does it really matter? Did she force people to pay for her wedding or buy her these gifts? If so, how did she force them? Did she point a gun at their head?
I read her whole post. I know people who have had extravagant weddings that they didn't pay for just to collect the gifts and money. My own brother and both of my husband's sisters did this!
Exactly! Some on here have tried to make this point: Why would a couple have a large extravagant wedding just to get gifts, if the gifts they will get will obviously be a lot less than the $ it costs to throw the wedding reception?! The answer is that, in most cases, the couple doesn't even pay for the wedding themselves - it's the bride's parents that typically pay for this. So, the couple getting married could care less how much $ the wedding costs - it's no skin off their nose. However, the larger the wedding the more gifts/money they will receive.
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 03-24-2017 at 10:32 PM..
i'm done with weddings. i will be a bridesmaid, once again, in July of this year. this will be my 5th time being in a wedding party. i'm so frustrated with the extravagant costs that people want you to spend. i'm honestly starting to build some resentment about it. i was just told i need to chip in 200$ for the bridal shower... then i have to get the dress (about $200), alterations for the dress (prob $100) hair & makeup ($100), a shower gift, and then an actual gift for the wedding. bachelorette party will prob be around 200$ as well. don't forget the hotel too (prob $200/night). probably will top at about $1,000. which has been the same for the other 4 weddings i was in as well.
i know i know, i didn't have to say yes to being a bridesmaid. but the alternative of saying no would probably be a lot worse... "why doesn't she want to be a bridesmaid" "i can't believe you said no" "i can't believe you wouldn't partake in his/her special day". anyway, i just needed to vent. why can't people just have a low key party and you give a gift and then be done with it? i especially hate when people tell me "it will be your turn one day". NO! i plan on going to get the marriage license and then that's it. maybe the party will consist of a nice dinner where me and my boyfriend pay for everything. i would never expect people to pay for anything just because i decide to spend the rest of my life with someone.
anyone else? i'm considering saying no to the bachelorette party to cut costs.
This is why most people wind up working until they are 70
Stop the madness
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Yep. Seen it quite a few times.
