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Sound like you got what you wanted, for her not to be done with you. You should take advantage of her gesture and go see her. She is not such a bad person after all. Good luck.
I'm not sure this is indicative of a good person.
A lonely person, an unsure person, maybe..
I don't for one second think she'd ever be done with me, she thrives on drama.
If I went to prison she'd write a book and become a prison mom and somehow make money off me.
I can't necessarily go though.
I will because I want to clean out my stuff and bring some home with me but it'll have to be after my great grandmother pretty much passes.
My grandmother said my ggm has 100 days of some sort of care and I don't think she'll make it that long, my mom wants me to come in a month so we'all really have to see.
She's getting evaluated for the free help I guess. I'll be there during the day time and she'll have a nurse at night.
My moms lease isn't up till August so I technically have time.
She should also probably drive down for a visit because she might want to see her grandmother for the last time. It's getting close.
I'm not sure this is indicative of a good person.
A lonely person, an unsure person, maybe..
I don't for one second think she'd ever be done with me, she thrives on drama.
If I went to prison she'd write a book and become a prison mom and somehow make money off me.
I can't necessarily go though.
I will because I want to clean out my stuff and bring some home with me but it'll have to be after my great grandmother pretty much passes.
My grandmother said my ggm has 100 days of some sort of care and I don't think she'll make it that long, my mom wants me to come in a month so we'all really have to see.
She's getting evaluated for the free help I guess. I'll be there during the day time and she'll have a nurse at night.
My moms lease isn't up till August so I technically have time.
She should also probably drive down for a visit because she might want to see her grandmother for the last time. It's getting close.
But, my comments were based on your thread title, MY MOM IS DONE WITH ME. I was thinking that this was a concern of yours, that she just might be done with you. You said she thrives on drama, but didn't you say in your very first post, that you had a smart mouth and a attitude, that's drama to me. I was thinking you wanted a relationship with your mother, but since she reached out to connect with you, you don't sound like you really want that. You can't have it both ways, she is not perfect and you are not perfect. You will have to let go of all that other stuff about her and try to meet in the middle. I'm not sure want you want or expect of your mom.
But, my comments were based on your thread title, MY MOM IS DONE WITH ME. I was thinking that this was a concern of yours, that she just might be done with you. You said she thrives on drama, but didn't you say in your very first post, that you had a smart mouth and a attitude, that's drama to me. I was thinking you wanted a relationship with your mother, but since she reached out to connect with you, you don't sound like you really want that. You can't have it both ways, she is not perfect and you are not perfect. You will have to let go of all that other stuff about her and try to meet in the middle. I'm not sure want you want or expect of your mom.
It wasn't drama.
I got accused of stupid crap like selling the toilet paper for drug money to which I replied to such things with the same amount of idiocy. "Yep mom I'm doing drugs right under your nose fo reeezyy" Then I'd do something like extremely poor and satirically done "gang sings". For a visual it ended up looking something like arthritic shadow puppets.
I have wanted a relationship with my mom.
What I haven't wanted to do was this whole back and forth.
When I posted my post is was because she was telling my grandmother that she didn't want a relationship with me if she moved down here.
Now that my brother moved 30 minutes from me shes alll excited to move and come live down here near us and be together. She's even posting all over Facebook about it and she doesn't ever even really use Facebook.
This would make so much more sense if maybe I was a prostitute with a herion addiction and I kept bringing around guys with neck tats and criminal records who only wanted to light up blunts and do coke off the dash of his honda civic.
Haha I like that. I once talked to a clever person about something similar, they were like "What the hell, are these kinds of people trying to be hated by their parents? Actually, they probably are."
Something like that can go both ways. Maybe they are trying to not expose you or involve you in something. Maybe they have problems or ambitions of their own. Somewhere they just failed to continue their love for you.
It's normal, it happens. Parents giving up on their adult children is normal. It is sad, it's not nice, it is unfortunate, difficult, and disheartening. But they are allowed to make their own choices. It's not strange. It's acceptable.
Use this experience to remind yourself that as an adult, you have the power of choice. You can choose your relationships however you like. We shouldn't live in a world where people are forced to like each other. We should have power as individuals and reap what we sow.
My father wrote me off too. He walked me through a field and said he was no longer my father. Two months later I was a homeless teen. It's so confusing, so wild and crazy. He just hated his children. It is normal.
If you come from a family background where you still have some kind of mutual respect for your parents, not that visits-at-Christmas crap but real respect for each other, you are lucky. Having loving parents is lucky. Not having them is normal.
Haha I like that. I once talked to a clever person about something similar, they were like "What the hell, are these kinds of people trying to be hated by their parents? Actually, they probably are."
Something like that can go both ways. Maybe they are trying to not expose you or involve you in something. Maybe they have problems or ambitions of their own. Somewhere they just failed to continue their love for you.
It's normal, it happens. Parents giving up on their adult children is normal. It is sad, it's not nice, it is unfortunate, difficult, and disheartening. But they are allowed to make their own choices. It's not strange. It's acceptable.
Use this experience to remind yourself that as an adult, you have the power of choice. You can choose your relationships however you like. We shouldn't live in a world where people are forced to like each other. We should have power as individuals and reap what we sow.
My father wrote me off too. He walked me through a field and said he was no longer my father. Two months later I was a homeless teen. It's so confusing, so wild and crazy. He just hated his children. It is normal.
If you come from a family background where you still have some kind of mutual respect for your parents, not that visits-at-Christmas crap but real respect for each other, you are lucky. Having loving parents is lucky. Not having them is normal.
I believe the majority of parents out there are loving parents, and probably the vast majority are. Can you imagine how messed up our already messed world would be if that was the case. Even if just 25% were not loving parents, that's a huge number to me, way too many. I would have to think long and hard to find someone I know personally who don't love their children. I know people like that are out there, but for me it is not the norm.
I wonder what would happen if the BF gave her the boot and grandma took the house away. Well, I don't wonder, I know what would happen and it is desperately needed: a nice long stint of living on the street.
It is truly incredible the amount of safety netting that txtqueen has, but at the same time, her life appears to be a severely fragile balance. If the boyfriend leaves and the house is taken away, she will have nothing left, and it would serve her right as maybe for once she would take responsibility for her train wreck of a life and be productive for once.
It wasn't drama.
I got accused of stupid crap like selling the toilet paper for drug money to which I replied to such things with the same amount of idiocy. "Yep mom I'm doing drugs right under your nose fo reeezyy" Then I'd do something like extremely poor and satirically done "gang sings". For a visual it ended up looking something like arthritic shadow puppets.
I have wanted a relationship with my mom.
What I haven't wanted to do was this whole back and forth.
When I posted my post is was because she was telling my grandmother that she didn't want a relationship with me if she moved down here.
Now that my brother moved 30 minutes from me shes alll excited to move and come live down here near us and be together. She's even posting all over Facebook about it and she doesn't ever even really use Facebook.
So you want a relationship with your mom but without negativity or any other caveats that come with a familial relationship?
You know I can lay down or sit, I can get up whoever and move around, I also can take meds on the road that I couldn't take and then drive myself to a job on, or work on.
So you cannot lift, bend, squat, or drive. You are constantly taking pain meds.... Yet, you are essential to an animal transporting job?
It's not that she can't work, she just doesn't want to. [I believe, but am not certain, that in an older posting, she directly said she did not want to work nor did she need to.]
She masks it with a seemingly unlimited number of excuses, with a cop out as to why every solution provided to her won't work, or isn't applicable to her. Of course, everyone can see through the nonsensical bologna, and realize that she would rather have fun with the boyfriend than put effort into maintaining a job.
What motivation is there for her to get a job, anyway? The "Dog Transportation Job", which is not hers, but solely her boyfriend's [and, judging by the previous responses on this thread, seems to be an illegitimate, under-the-table "job"], is the sole income in her life. Grandma provides free housing, supposedly in exchange for elder care for the 98 year old great grandmother, which never occurred. All "she" has to "pay for" [quotes because the sole income in her life is through her boyfriend, so she pays nothing.] are peripheral luxury bills, like a cell phone, etc. With everything covered for her, I can see exactly why she has this entitled attitude of shock that family members are vilifying her for not holding up her end of the bargain.
As I said before, her life situation is highly precarious. If the boyfriend leaves, Grandma throws them out of the house, etc., she will be completely screwed. Hopefully, if that does happen, neither mom nor grandma nor any other family member will let her move in. Being on the street for a long time seems to be the only way that this girl will take charge of her life, and acquire an appreciation of accountability.
Txt something you might want to think about....you are currently unemployed, and your bf may be working under the table. While you may be able to cover your monthly expenses (helped out by not having to pay rent), where are you going with all of this? Do either of you have any kind of benefits? Health insurance? You already know that accidents happen even to young, healthy people. Retirement savings? You are prime age for starting to sock money away to rake advantage of long-term growth. You should know that under the table work, while attractive in the short run, hurts you in the long run as it won't count toward social security. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of poverty just to avoid ever having to answer to anyone. Think about that.
It is not too late to get an education. There are jobs you could do that could work around your injury. You will however have to take some classes you may not be fascinated in and most likely sometimes work with or for people who frustrate you. You are a bright young woman. But you can't allow your stubbornness to block your way. Stop focusing on drama (real or imagined) regarding other people including your mother. The time is now for you to get your....act...together and start living with a plan for the future because it's coming, like it or not.
Last edited by maciesmom; 03-16-2017 at 07:23 AM..
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