Friend says she wants to get together but then makes an excuse each time?
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I had a friend I completely dumped over this kind of behavior (esp the no-shows).
She said, "Oh, I'm not surprised. Lots of people have dumped me for this."
The other friend I've dumped doesn't seem to know she's been dumped.
We haven't hung out in almost 2 years. She would text me and post how much she missed me and we really have to make plans to get together so I'll ask her several times and she will make an excuse...all different things like I'll say we might go to a pizza place for dinner if you guys want to join and she will say something like we are having pizza next week....I'll invite her over and she says she'd love to but has to grocery shop...so I stopped reaching out...a few weeks ago she started up again posting how much she misses me and wants to get together so 3 times I asked her and she made an excuse....for instant I asked her to go to dinner with us and she said she went out to dinner last night....I noticed she had dinner right in my neighborhood. I've noticed that several times she is near and me never contacts me....only to say she "misses us" or "we need to get together in the next few weeks". I don't get it.
You don't have time for that. Just live your life, you'll be much happier for that. I have a friend that is doing something similar to me talking about she wants to hang out, but then she backs out of it.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 02-15-2017 at 05:55 PM..
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You say: Yes, I'd love to get together. Listen, it hasn't worked out for you the last few times I'd made suggestions, so why don't you decide on this one? Find a date that works for you, and whatever restaurant you'd like is fine with me.
We were REALLY good friends from 4th grade through about the time we turned 20. He was always weird and got to be more so over time, especially after high school.
We fell out of contact, didn't talk at all for about 6 years. Now I've moved away and I make it back home about 3 times per year. He texted me and tried hard to get me to meet up when I was in town for Thanksgiving. I agreed on a night of the week and when the day came I couldn't get a hold of him. The next morning (when he knew I was flying home) he texted me like "hey man you wanna meet up?!"
A few months later he pretty much did the same thing. I ran into an old mutual friend and he said the guy had done the same to him and wasn't really all that fun when they did meet up after several tries.
He didn't really want to meet. He didn't really want to catch up. The only time he was willing to agree on a time/place, it was because he knew I would be at the airport or on the plane home. If I said yes, he would have bailed.
He just wanted to know that old friends WOULD hang out with him. OP's friend likely has similar motivation. Anxiety surely plays a role, too.
She's an acquaintance who likes to give herself credit for reaching out, even though she never follows through on the offers. I'd leave her in your past and focus on your true friends.
^^This.
If she'd really wanted to get together, at some point she would have made the time. Vague allusions about "getting together sometime" are meaningless.
Her excuses are lame. Grocery shopping? um, really?
OP, this is not a friend. Stop wondering and speculating. If she contacts you again, tell her you don't have any free time. Unfriend/delete/block. She's a flake and a phoney.
Move on with your life and with genuine friends.
I used to have a few people in my life who pulled the same stunt; one is a relative. Or if I contacted them they would go on and on and on about how busy they were. I don't care to hear the particulars and details of someone else's busy schedule - I'm not interested. I don't have room for that BS in my life.
Last edited by applej3; 02-16-2017 at 04:28 PM..
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