The problem of women saying they don't like having lots of girlfriends. (presents, narcissistic)

[otterhere]

I'm kidding; it's a take-off on that old song, "I enjoy being a girl." (I find that, in general, men are funnier and have a better sense of humor, too; they don't take everything SO seriously).

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Staphangel

Exactly! It's really sad how there are so many women that view "not being like other girls" is some kind of badge of honor. Heck, there are women that are flattered when their man says they aren't like other girls.

cremebrulee it's really sad you seem to have such deep-seated internalized misogyny.

and it's really sad, that people take how someone else thinks and feels as a personal attack....

ya'll take what someone says to the complete opposite end of the spectrum....

Yes, some women are terrible, but OTHERS ARE AWESOME, guess your unable to see that part.

I've had and still do have women friends who are the most loyal, patient, kind hearted and loving people....and am honored to not only be their friends but to also be part of their families.
I've lost two awesome ladies with whom I was close to....people like that come along in someone's life very rarely, but I've been blessed.

I'm sorry that you take a subject in a forum so personal...

deep-seated no, it's been a wonderful journey and there has been so much to learn from even the worst of times....and meeting the worst of people....so...take it however you want...

actually, you have just in a few words, proven my point.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Well, I am a girl (although I don't always enjoy being one)...

I don't know anyone who enjoys who they are all the time. It is interesting that you focus on it as a gender issue though.

You posted earlier that you considered yourself to be an individual first and foremost. Why do you seem to feel that others (including other women) wouldnt want that same courtesy?

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I don't know anyone who enjoys who they are all the time.

You posted earlier that you considered yourself to be an individual first and foremost. Why do you seem to feel that others (including other women) wouldn't want that same courtesy?

and why would you feel that she/he doesn't extend the same courtesy....

do you honestly think and believe that we meet a woman we set out to give that women a hard time?

The women I'm talking about I have been forced to know, or work with or deal with in family situations, in extended family situations and with friends who were friends with them and always, always on our first meeting, people generally extend "courtesy" and kindness, do they not. It takes a long time to know someone...and view if you have anything in common, doesn't it. Common sense would tell you, a lot of these situations were forced situations that no one could do anything about.

I've know a woman who is a boss, that will smile like there is no tomorrow to your face and act all sweet and concerned, and then, turn around and talk about you behind your back and try to ruin you. 4 people in the past year have left their positions b/c of her....and another is looking. Now, if they play the game and fall all over her, your fine, and she constantly rewards bad behavior.

I've also known women bosses who are the greatest people on God's green earth, but you refuse to see the positive and only hone in on the negative. Why? I have great girlfriends....!!!!!!

These woman are people you haven't known, but myself and others here have....

Count yourself lucky...instead of putting someone down for speaking the truth about people they have known. My son was physically and mentally beat up by a very vile woman, whose mother was mentally dysfunctional along with herself. She was so jealous of him....and me, and still is...she hurt a whole lot of people's lives...she loved to argue and put people down...hateful evil woman.

But as I said, once again....I've known and worked for some really AWESOME WOMEN...(why do you refuse to see that light/positive) instead of feeding off the negative?

this is a discussion, and it doesn't mean I hate women, or won't give someone a chance when I first meet them....actually always welcome new people on board, but if you cross me, I will most certainly protect my territory and have no patience or tolerance for gossip, using others and hurting children and spouses. None.

and yes, some men do the same thing, but this topic isn't about men, is it?

Forgive me, but a few of you are taking this to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and actually proving the whole point of this discussion.

now, if someone would like to open a thread about great women in our lives, I'll be the first to comment.

[maciesmom]

I don't know how to further explain to you that every time a person says/writes that "women are (fill in denigrating description of your choice)", they are judging the whole. Every time one writes that they knew of a "bad" man and follows it with a "but..." and completes the sentence by explaing his behavior as atypical or somehow caused by a "nasty" woman, they are excusing it and not holding them as accountable as the standard-bearer for men in general.

I understand you feel attacked by my responses and it's clear you are not understanding my point, so I will refrain from further addressing your posts on this topic.

[tassity22]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

Count yourself lucky...instead of putting someone down for speaking the truth about people they have known. My son was physically and mentally beat up by a very vile woman, whose mother was mentally dysfunctional along with herself. She was so jealous of him....and me, and still is...she hurt a whole lot of people's lives...she loved to argue and put people down...hateful evil woman.
.

That is just awful, I am sorry to hear that. I have a son too and frankly, I worry about him being abused by women caregivers. Some women hate men and will take it out on young male children.


A person who loves to argue constantly is also a red flag. I find this characteristic more often in women, than in men. For example: I can make any kind of comment to men, like "I love Italian food" and a man will say, "eh, whatever" but a woman will start trying to argue to death why Italian food is bad, too high in carbs, that I'm a bad person for eating it, etc. etc. I remember a last luncheon I had with a group of women, I had ordered a slice of pie and this woman I'd known for several years, who was always kind of bossy, started screaming at me, in front of everyone at the restaurant, how I had such horrible eating habits, that pie was fattening, and on and on. That was the last straw for me and I never wanted to see her again after that. And frankly, I've never encountered a man who acted the same way. From what I've seen, men typically don't go around shaming each other.


I'm not totally close-minded about getting to know women, but every time one of them invites me to something, I find out it's for an MLM business. (Mary Kay, Usborne Books, Shakeology, Plexus, DuTerra Oils....). And other than trying to recruit me into their business, they have zero interest in getting to know me or the other women they stalk for business.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by tassity22

Also, a person who loves to argue constantly is also a red flag. I find this characteristic more often in women, than in men. For example: I can make any kind of comment to men, like "I love Italian food" and a man will say, "eh, whatever" but a woman will start trying to argue to death why Italian food is bad, too high in carbs, that I'm a bad person for eating it, etc. etc. I remember a last luncheon I had with a group of women, I had ordered a slice of pie and this woman I'd known for several years, who was always kind of bossy, started screaming at me, in front of everyone at the restaurant, how I had such horrible eating habits, that pie was fattening, and on and on. That was the last straw for me and I never wanted to see her again after that. And frankly, I've never encountered a man who acted the same way.

You're lucky in that you've never had a "debate" with a guy who just had to have the last word (while at the same time not knowing what he's talking about, and throwing in a bit of mansplaining.) There's a reason there's the saying, "Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre man." In my experience women will often try to create a common bond in conversation, but many men will try to prove they know more than you do.

[cremebrulee]

tassity22 That is just awful, I am sorry to hear that. I have a son too and frankly, I worry about him being abused by women caregivers. Some women hate men and will take it out on young male children.

Thank you....
yes, it was an awful time, truly....awful...it was like a horror story...even her own kid once said to my son, "I don't know why mom treats you like that?"

Also, a person who loves to argue constantly is also a red flag. I find this characteristic more often in women, than in men. For example: I can make any kind of comment to men, like "I love Italian food" and a man will say, "eh, whatever" but a woman will start trying to argue to death why Italian food is bad, too high in carbs, that I'm a bad person for eating it, etc. etc.

yes, my sister does that, when ever I take her to a new place, she orders something and says, "well, it wasn't as good as so and so....she is always complaining...but that's her. but I do point it out to her.

I remember a last luncheon I had with a group of women, I had ordered a slice of pie and this woman I'd known for several years, who was always kind of bossy, started screaming at me, in front of everyone at the restaurant, how I had such horrible eating habits, that pie was fattening, and on and on. That was the last straw for me and I never wanted to see her again after that. And frankly, I've never encountered a man who acted the same way. From what I've seen, men typically don't go around shaming each other.

so, the woman who screamed at you, had serious problems and didn't care how uncomfortable she made others who were attending. I used to go out every Friday nite with a group of girls. Actually I had started it when a neighbors husband passed away. Then another woman's husband passed and on and on. So, we got to be a group of about 6 - 8 women. We had one who was like the woman you spoke of....and all the girls got upset. I quit going, it wasn't fun any longer...but am still friends with them....and we visit each other....but I won't be with people like that.

I'm not totally close-minded about getting to know women, but every time one of them invites me to something, I find out it's for an MLM business. (Mary Kay, Usborne Books, Shakeology, Plexus, DuTerra Oils....). And other than trying to recruit me into their business, they have zero interest in getting to know me or the other women they stalk for business.

and you shouldn't be...close-minded...no one should...but, what I've learned is observe, and I don't invite anyone into my life, until I'm certain, we have common ground. If people go out together and start talking about other people, in front of everyone, you can bet, I'm going to be cautious, be it a man or a woman.

You should start inviting....I have several friends with whom I get together with for dinner, and we have a great time, no motives, just catching up and laughing or being there for one another.

[oldwoman]

Originally Posted by Staphangel

Exactly! It's really sad how there are so many women that view "not being like other girls" is some kind of badge of honor. Heck, there are women that are flattered when their man says they aren't like other girls.

cremebrulee it's really sad you seem to have such deep-seated internalized misogyny.

Well .... we do live in a society that teaches us that men, and in particular white men, are the pinnacle of humanity.

I know we throw around the idea that we are all equal, but it's like telling everybody that looks don't matter .... just the content of your character. That would be great if it were true in practice, but it isn't. Looks do matter and they seem to matter more than anything else.

So ..... when you set up groups of people as more admirable and more advantaged, there is no way that it will not have an effect on everyone exposed.

[oldwoman]

Originally Posted by otterhere

Well, I am a girl (although I don't always enjoy being one)...

Sex change is the answer. It will deal with so many issues at once.