Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The emotional posts in this thread are from women who say they don't like women because of the interactions they've engaged in with other women. Which was my point when I entered this thread - when a woman says she only likes men because women are mean, they are usually pots calling the kettles.
.
It's more the case that women avoid other women because they've been burned too many times.
If they were truly just as "mean" to other women, as you claim, they would do the opposite and seek out other women so they could bully them, poach their boyfriends, etc. But no, these women here are just saying they mostly avoid other women if possible. Which is their prerogative. I have yet to hear a solid explanation of why it's "wrong" for them to have male friends only or why they don't have the free will to conduct their personal life however they want to. It does not affect anyone else if a woman chooses to surround herself with men friends. It's just as fruitless and pointless as telling someone they are "wrong" if they choose to be single rather than marry, or they choose to not have children, or whatever. It's their life, not yours.
It's more the case that women avoid other women because they've been burned too many times.
If they were truly "mean" to other women, as you claim, they would do the opposite and seek out other women so they could bully them, poach their boyfriends, etc. But no, these women here are just saying they mostly avoid other women if possible. Which is their prerogative. I have yet to hear a solid explanation of why it's "wrong" for them to have male friends only or why they don't have the free will to conduct their personal life however they want to.
actually I don't believe anyone here has said, they only like men and dislike all women....
I don't know ..... I've seen men beat the absolute crap out of one another and without much mercy.
Look ... people can be mean and people can be wonderful, both women and men. As I said earlier women have a tendency to be less accepting of other women and men have a tendency to be less accepting of other men. This makes evolutionary sense.
If a bunch of us women here on the forum are arguing about 'whatever' and we categorize each other as catty, jealous, back-stabbing or whatever, so what? We don't have to feel like less because that is how we express ourselves. It's not like guys argue better or something .... unless we think that guys actually are better. And many of us do.
You want to call this a cat fight? Call it a cat fight. Ever seen two big cats go at each other? It's a pretty bloody affair. We don't have to believe that we are less because of the way we go about arguing or fighting or anything else.
Women do certain things differently than men. That does not make them less than men even if they are told it does and even if they buy into that societal belief.
I've seen that as well but usually down the line the men have made up from that fiasco and became friends again. I honestly think it's a people problem. They'll stop being friends over the smallest things.
I think there is usually a hidden agenda, even one that they don't realize, when most of a persons friends are from the opposite sex. For a guy, he is either trying to get laid, or hoping it helps him get laid. Other than that, they'd rather hang out with the guys.
And you know what? It really doesn't matter. I don't care what you think my "hidden motives" are. I feel more comfortable being around male friends. Again, please explain how this affects you. If someone prefers romantic relationships that are same gender (lesbian, gay), does that affect you also? You seem to believe other people's personal relationships have a negative impact on you or others. I'm not seeing it.
I've seen that as well but usually down the line the men have made up from that fiasco and became friends again. I honestly think it's a people problem. They'll stop being friends over the smallest things.
so, your saying you have never ever had a run in with mean people?
There is good and bad in all of us....that isn't to say, that some have more bad than good in them....
and some more good than bad....
bottom line is, when you go apply for a job, and your not picked, and the hiring manager says, I just don't believe it would be a good fit....same thing....
some people get along with others all the time....but even the nicest of women who yes everyone to death, get tired of it after a while.
We have a woman in our neighborhood who will tell you, she would trade her soul to be a part of a group, that she needs it and will abandon her core values to be part of a group. Lets call her Eve
And let it be known, that EVE is a dear sweet lady....very kindhearted and dedicated to her church...however, there was one woman in our Friday night meetings that was impossible, argumentative, mean spirited and very negative...she had to have center stage at all times....she had to be the leader, well I stopped going, then Eve stopped. It hurt her deeply, really upset her...but she couldn't stand going somewhere and spending her money to have a horrible time, b/c someone else disrupted the entire group. It just wasn't fun any longer.
That wasn't a small thing, and neither have some of the other stories from women here. When someone treats you the way some of these stories described, you just walk away. These are toxic women, with whom I hope you never know.
And before concluding that these were small things, I suggest you walk in our shoes and thank you lucky stars you've never had to deal with it. I sure wish it hadn't happened to me. The women I spoke of, didn't care anything about the feelings of others. A total disregard for the feelings of any of the other women she was with...you should have seen their faces when this woman acted out her anger in a public restaurant. Whoa.
now, once again, NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS.....we're not talking about women in general, we're simply sharing our experience of why we feel the way we do about certain women....and I hope you never meet up with any in your lifetime.
It's more the case that women avoid other women because they've been burned too many times.
If they were truly just as "mean" to other women, as you claim, they would do the opposite and seek out other women so they could bully them, poach their boyfriends, etc. But no, these women here are just saying they mostly avoid other women if possible. Which is their prerogative. I have yet to hear a solid explanation of why it's "wrong" for them to have male friends only or why they don't have the free will to conduct their personal life however they want to. It does not affect anyone else if a woman chooses to surround herself with men friends. It's just as fruitless and pointless as telling someone they are "wrong" if they choose to be single rather than marry, or they choose to not have children, or whatever. It's their life, not yours.
Again.....
It is not an individual's friends that are the issue. It's the explanation that the choice of friends is because of some perceived universal traits that "women" share. That's what is unfair.
It is not an individual's friends that are the issue. It's the explanation that the choice of friends is because of some perceived universal traits that "women" share. That's what is unfair.
It may be unfair, but that is their perception, right or wrong. If you don't like being perceived that way, start being kind to other women. Offer to act as a mentor to a woman in your workplace or volunteer job.
I joined a mothers group a few years ago, for new moms of twins. I asked for a mentor (they have a mentoring program), but they told me they couldn't help, and instead, all they did was try and push me to buy stuff from them. MLMs or trying to sell their used strollers and cribs to the new moms. They but they had nothing to offer in terms of advice or help. I still struggle to raise twins without the benefit of any advice from women who have 'been there'. They only want money. I'm starting to believe men when they say all women are just after their wallets. This is how they treat other women, too, it seems.
It is not an individual's friends that are the issue. It's the explanation that the choice of friends is because of some perceived universal traits that "women" share. That's what is unfair.
People have also mentioned catty women in the workplace, which makes me wonder if these people who think women are backstabbing gossips were ever on hiring committees, would those biases affect who gets offered the job?
It may be unfair, but that is their perception, right or wrong. If you don't like being perceived that way, start being kind to other women. Offer to act as a mentor to a woman in your workplace or volunteer job.
I joined a mothers group a few years ago, for new moms of twins. I asked for a mentor (they have a mentoring program), but they told me they couldn't help, and instead, all they did was try and push me to buy stuff from them. MLMs or trying to sell their used strollers and cribs to the new moms. They but they had nothing to offer in terms of advice or help. I still struggle to raise twins without the benefit of any advice from women who have 'been there'. They only want money. I'm starting to believe men when they say all women are just after their wallets. This is how they treat other women, too, it seems.
You have no idea what I do.
I've gone out of my way to keep this at an ideological rather than a personal level. Your individual anecdotes notwithstanding, why do you not hold men to the same standard, on a macro level, as you do women? You continue to use examples of individual behavior as simply "how women are". Men aren't held to that same standard. Jerky men are simply jerks , not representative of "how men are". Why is that?
Last edited by maciesmom; 02-23-2017 at 02:50 PM..
I have yet to hear a solid explanation of why it's "wrong" for them to have male friends only or why they don't have the free will to conduct their personal life however they want to. .
Because no one thinks it's "wrong" to have male friends only.
I've gone through periods of my own life where my closest friends were male, but that happened because the people I knew that I connected with happened to be male, at that time.
What is being discussed is women making sweeping judgements that all women are catty b-words, and they therefore cannot get along with them. And yet, as pointed out in the post above this one, these same people very often don't subject men to the same sweeping judgements.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
