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In an office you are working with the same people every day. You get to know them pretty well. Sometimes you have to work closely with one woman in particular. If you are not getting along or what that person does affects your job, then you might feel the need to talk to somebody else that you trust in the office just to get it off your chest. This person might end up telling somebody else they trust. So it gets spread around. Eventually the woman you closely work with might find out. Then you have more fireworks.
Personally I have had to work with somebody that kept trying to take my work away from me. I tried to talk to her about it and thought we had it straightened out. But eventually she went back to her old ways. It was hard to work with her. Eventually she quit.
Another woman I worked with was controlling. She would get mad at me if I didn't do something (not work related) she wanted me to do. Then she would not talk to me at the office even when I had questions about a job we were working on. Unfortunately for me, most of the people in the office really liked her outgoing personality and maybe they didn't get to see the side of her I saw.
The thing is, these people would exhibit this same behavior no matter where they were. Because you have to be around them for 8 hours a day, you see this and have to live with it. Not having anybody to talk to about this can make it unbearable. People don't necessarily act one way at work and another way outside the office or with their friends.
yeah, that is totally different than gossiping and cattyness. that is venting a frustration and everyone does that from time to time. but in my experience in the office, some women are down right rude/nasty and purposely "stir the pot". it's not a simple venting of frustration.
Comments like this, OP ^^ are why some women can't be friends. I do not "disdain" an entire class of people because they have different interests than me. While I am not into fashion and makeup, I am friends with some women who love fashion and make-up. Because we might have different interest, it doesn't make them dull, shallow, and uninteresting. We have other things in common.
As evidenced above, women can be very nasty to one another for no apparent reason.
I most certainly DO disdain boring dull shallow people. There's nothing nasty about it, that is my preference. Again - without regard to gender. I'd also not have anything in common with a man who lounges about a spa - or for whom sports is the end-all be-all and who cannot hold a conversation on any other topic.
Again - if you don't like it, lump it. I do NOT have "other things in common" with people who are nothing more than clothes horses. Other than possibly breathing.
I agree that women should support each other and try to be friends. But as a woman, I can tell you most other moms I know are so heavily involved in multi-level marketing "businesses" that I've had to distance myself from them. They seem only interested in selling to me or recruiting me. This stuff is rampant in mom's clubs, womens' bible studies, womens' groups, etc. It's very sad when you realize that someone you thought was being your friend, was really just buttering you up to recruit you.
What a load of garbage. If anything, it is the opposite. From my experience women that need lots of women friends are insecure and need lots of cheerleaders to make themselves feel better but will go against other women that aren't like them or won't play their games. I have few female friends and lots of guy friends and it is a LOT easier with men. Women keep other women down and it's a sad fact.
I agree with this, and I know I'll get some flak for it, but that's okay. I would be dishonest if I said this is not what I see. I've seen it far too often! I don't play games and it's not my thing, so I truly don't fit in with a lot of other women. One of my girlfriends for many years would do nothing but talk nasty about other women to me, all the time; I finally got tired of it and distanced myself from her. I couldn't deal with the hatred any more.
What a load of crap! I am sure the reason you may not have lots of "women friends" is, like most like you is because of you! I'd be willing to bet you probably have slept with, or at least thought about sleeping with a lot of these "guy friends". .
Seriously? How do you know who this poster has slept with and who she hasn't? What a yucky response.
And no, I don't think women get male friends because they want "attention". Some of my male friends were gay and for sure did not want to sleep with me, date me or give me any kind of special attention.
I guess the OP wouldn't like me very much because I'm a woman and I don't relate well to MOST other women. Sorry, but that's just the truth. I've always, since childhood, had one or two female friends that I'm close with. The rest of my friends are guys. I guess the lack of mutual interests is what drives me away from having more female friends. In my career I've always worked with 3 times more guys than women, so I guess it's just more natural to me to have guy work buddies.
I just can't find things to talk about with most girls/women that I meet. I'm interested in things like science, nature, finance, politics, and news. Most women I've had close contact with, through my very few close girl friends, all want to talk about their kids (I have none), their "horrible" men (their words, not mine I've got a great hubby and I don't talk behind his back), their petty squabbles at work, lives of celebrities, other women and what they think of them, etc.
As a married woman, I understand that wives of guys can get jealous, so I'm very careful about how and where I spend time with my guy friends (at work, at lunch, or as couples only) so I won't upset their wives. I was cheated on by my first husband, so I know better than to let a friendship turn to something more.
I agree that women should support each other and try to be friends. But as a woman, I can tell you most other moms I know are so heavily involved in multi-level marketing "businesses" that I've had to distance myself from them. They seem only interested in selling to me or recruiting me. This stuff is rampant in mom's clubs, womens' bible studies, womens' groups, etc. It's very sad when you realize that someone you thought was being your friend, was really just buttering you up to recruit you.
Sad but true. I won't join anything with "womens" in the title.
There's a big difference between a woman that likes or does things that are traditionally male and one that seeks the company of men over women. I know someone in particular that claims it is really a mature type of adult relationship if you have men friends as you do female friends. Claiming there is nothing wrong for example if you take a weekend vacation away from your husband with a male friend with a similar interest. This person has been married 5 times. Can't keep an intimate relationship happy and it is no wonder why.
I mention the above to point out what I was trying to say before. It is and I think should be a different type of friendship than that you would have with another women. I say so because it is out of respect for the personal lives of other people and about not taking chances if you value your own marriage.
I apologize if this is not the right forum to say this, but it is something that I and I am sure many others have noticed. Namely women that say "I don't really have a lot of girlfriends because I don't get along with other women" "I am not like other girls (as if other girls are somehow "bad")" "I have lots more guy friends than girlfriends" etc. etc. ad nauseum.
What it means is they are insecure and only hang with guys because a guy always wants a piece of you.
A number of women just get tired of the cattiness, gossipy and backstabbing that can come from having "female friendships" Oh did I mention the constant comparisons, jealousy of what the other has, etc.
If a woman only attracts those kind of women, chances are she's just like them. Nobody hangs around women like this unless they're getting something out of it.
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