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Old 02-18-2017, 01:50 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,061,095 times
Reputation: 32726

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There is no one on my life, excluding my husband and kids, and coworkers, that I contact every couple of days. Have you two always talked that often? Maybe it's just more than he wants or needs. Maybe cut back to once/week. With some time between chats, he might have more to say to you.
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:10 PM
 
1,314 posts, read 1,696,873 times
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being suicidal is sorta severe.



Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire View Post
If you've been able to "pull yourself up," then you haven't experienced severe depression.
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:11 PM
 
1,314 posts, read 1,696,873 times
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you're coming across as very self-stupid.

but then you usually do,

Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Wow, you're really knocking yourself out aren't you?

Sending an email every couple of days.

It's not like this has been going on for years. Good thing he doesn't need someone to come over because he had knee surgery and needs someone to bring him meals.

You're coming off as very self absorbed.
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:13 PM
 
1,314 posts, read 1,696,873 times
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yes, you're right.

It is not as complex as I was making it...

It's just been a long goddam time....
and I miss him!

thanks.


Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
When a person is severely depressed it is hard to focus on anything other than themselves and the emotional pain they are feeling at the time. That you are able to "pull yourself up, go for a walk, call someone, etc." is admirable but I don't know many people, including myself who can force myself to not feel depressed. When I'm going through a bad time, I do not want to talk to anybody.The problem is too many people look at depression as something you can will yourself out of which is entirely untrue. If he said hearing from you helps send him a text or an email every day and just say "hey, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about your or praying for you" or whatever.


Please try to be patient with your friend and understand that he is not deliberating dissing you by not asking how YOU are.
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:25 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,349,391 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellenrr View Post
yeah, it's true.

(it wouldn't kill me.)
Problem/issue solved!
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:27 PM
 
1,314 posts, read 1,696,873 times
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it is.

sometimes I overthink things.

and when I got that reply - I just thot - yeah, that's it.
not such a major deal.

that's why we need other people.

(well, that's one reason I need other people. )


Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Problem/issue solved!
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Old 02-18-2017, 02:33 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,349,391 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellenrr View Post
that's why we need other people.

(well, that's one reason I need other people. )
Yes we do! Take care.
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Old 02-18-2017, 07:00 PM
 
9,471 posts, read 9,327,593 times
Reputation: 8177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
There is no one on my life, excluding my husband and kids, and coworkers, that I contact every couple of days. Have you two always talked that often? Maybe it's just more than he wants or needs. Maybe cut back to once/week. With some time between chats, he might have more to say to you.
Bad advice. A depressed person needs to know people care about him.
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Old 02-18-2017, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Florida
9,569 posts, read 5,574,141 times
Reputation: 12024
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
When a person is severely depressed it is hard to focus on anything other than themselves and the emotional pain they are feeling at the time. That you are able to "pull yourself up, go for a walk, call someone, etc." is admirable but I don't know many people, including myself who can force myself to not feel depressed. When I'm going through a bad time, I do not want to talk to anybody.The problem is too many people look at depression as something you can will yourself out of which is entirely untrue. If he said hearing from you helps send him a text or an email every day and just say "hey, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about your or praying for you" or whatever.


Please try to be patient with your friend and understand that he is not deliberating dissing you by not asking how YOU are.
Perfect post !

Friendships are not always equal but if your friend of 15 years who supported you through your rough patches and you want to cut him off after 5 weeks of his "funk" maybe you need to reevaluate what type of friend you really are.

When you were going through your rough patch did you remember how long it lasted? Did your friend turn their back on you because you became annoying ?
You said that for me to continue in this one-sided situation I'd have to be a relative, a lover, or a saint. but you forgot to include a friend too because these are what close relationships are really about.

You mentioned he is in a "funk" but this sounds more serious if they say hearing your voice gives him comfort. What life altering event has occurred to your friend that you find annoying to the point you where you want to cut him off from your life?
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Old 02-18-2017, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,578 posts, read 5,631,074 times
Reputation: 15968
What do you want out of this friendship? Apparently five phone calls and 5 emails are too much to bother with for a 15 year friend -- so what are you hoping for? Sending 5 emails is "saintly"? Really?

Do you want your words to magically heal him of his depression? Do you feel he is overindulging his funk and not making any effort towards wellness? Do you blame him for his depression?

Are you looking for permission for throwing this friend overboard and going on with your life, not having to worry about your friend and his funks?
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