Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-20-2017, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,764 posts, read 1,660,976 times
Reputation: 3523

Advertisements

When meeting someone for lunch, dinner or an appointment are you:

• usually early
• on time
• little late (5 min.)
• always late (more than 5min.)
• habitually late never on time

What is a reasonable amount of time to wait ?

I'm sure there's already a thread on this subject.

I had this conversation with someone recently and he said the thing he couldn't stand the most besides the person showing up late is that they don't acknowledge and apologize -absolutely no accountability on their part for being late.

I'm usually a little early or on time but I've been late before and the first thing if I've kept someone waiting is offer an apology.

I've decided I'm not going to wait more than 5 min. for the habitually late people. It doesn't matter if they call or not.

If the on time people are running late and call I'll wait.

The on time people I know when we meet for lunch or dinner we're usually driving in the parking lot at the same time.

I was going to meet an acquaintance for dinner and I had the feeling she would be late so I asked her are you an on time person or a late person.
She replied, I'm always late. I said, well then I can't meet you for dinner because I don't wait for late people anymore. I was glad she was honest so I didn't waste my time.

To the on time person how long do you wait for someone that is late ?

To the habitually late person how long do you expect someone to wait for you ?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-20-2017, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Penna
726 posts, read 1,222,708 times
Reputation: 1292
15 minutes, that's it, unless they call and let me know.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 07:23 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,194 posts, read 10,158,323 times
Reputation: 32125
If I'm meeting someone for a meal at a restaurant and they are more than 30 minutes late I order without them. If it happens more than once I don't make plans with them again. If my doctor keeps me waiting more than 30 minutes I reschedule but I have learned to call ahead to see how they are running.


I am always on time these days or a few minutes early. People who are late all the time really annoy me. They need to take better control of their time management and scheduling because it is just inconsiderate to expect people to wait for them like their time is so much important than anybody else's.


That being said 5 minutes is really very rigid. I'm not sure where you live but we have a big traffic problem here during the winter with all the snowbirds and then we have two baseball teams who have their spring training here so sometimes despite my best planning I might be a few minutes late. However, I usually allow for a lot of these things and wind up being too early.


If you really like the person how about telling them you shall meet at 6:15 for dinner when you really plan on being there at 6:30?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,764 posts, read 1,660,976 times
Reputation: 3523
^^^I've decided I'm only waiting 5 min for the habitually late people and if I tell them that ahead of time they'll be 5 min late, they're never on time.

I appreciate the suggestion about a time for dinner and then showing 15 min. later and I've heard people say they do that for late people, just think it's not necessary to play games to accommodate late people.

Last edited by 70's Music Girl; 02-20-2017 at 08:00 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 07:55 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 50,952,945 times
Reputation: 62660
Personally I do not wait for anyone. If you are not there at the agreed time then I leave. The other person being late has only happened that one time, after no one has been late again. My time is just as valuable as anyone else's and there are other things to do than revolve my world around you and your habits.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,148 posts, read 1,683,024 times
Reputation: 4186
If you look around the internet, you'll find there are people who are continually late. It's being labeled as a mental condition (article here)

One of my friends was habitually late. As a rule, we would tell her we were meeting 30 minutes before the actual get together. She would still end up being about 10 minutes late, but 10 minutes was better than 40.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 02:01 PM
 
1,659 posts, read 1,244,518 times
Reputation: 3615
I'm usually 5 minutes early or on time.

The longest I'll wait is 15 - 30 minutes past the scheduled meeting time for someone before I move on. I'm willing to make exceptions if they were courteous enough to call and let me know what was going on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Sector 001
15,932 posts, read 12,176,639 times
Reputation: 16097
Technically all habits anyone forms in life are "mental conditions" There are people at work who are consistently 15 minutes early to work every day and have to wait around 10 minutes to badge in even though they live right in town. I used to do that, but now I find it strange, and many times get there at 5:57. It was just a habit.


I am hardly ever late myself, but that's because I have good time management skills and like to be considerate. Maybe late people are less considerate, or they just hang around with friends who are always late so they don't see it as a big deal. I try not to judge, unless they are 30+ minutes wait I'll just putter around on my phone.. no big deal. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't marry someone who is chronically late or anything..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,244 posts, read 21,694,168 times
Reputation: 10013
5 minutes early is late for me. I time my drives to ensure if I hit some traffic, I still have time to get there. I don't want people waiting on me.

However, that means I'm constantly waiting on people. I remember a time when I was meeting several friends for a birthday party at a restaurant. I was the first there at 10 minutes early. The birthday girl was 1 1/2 hours late!! The restaurant kept our tables pushed together for that long to ensure they were ready when she got there, as we all waited at the bar for far toooooo long. I couldn't believe they didn't separate to use them.

After that time, any time we met with that friend, we always told her a different time to be places as we knew she would always be late. It's 15 years later, and she's an on time person now, and always apologizes when she's a minute or so late. She never apologized for her actions in the past.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2017, 02:39 PM
 
17,815 posts, read 25,502,192 times
Reputation: 36262
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70's Music Girl View Post
When meeting someone for lunch, dinner or an appointment are you:

• usually early
• on time
• little late (5 min.)
• always late (more than 5min.)
• habitually late never on time

What is a reasonable amount of time to wait ?

I'm sure there's already a thread on this subject.

I had this conversation with someone recently and he said the thing he couldn't stand the most besides the person showing up late is that they don't acknowledge and apologize -absolutely no accountability on their part for being late.

I'm usually a little early or on time but I've been late before and the first thing if I've kept someone waiting is offer an apology.

I've decided I'm not going to wait more than 5 min. for the habitually late people. It doesn't matter if they call or not.

If the on time people are running late and call I'll wait.

The on time people I know when we meet for lunch or dinner we're usually driving in the parking lot at the same time.

I was going to meet an acquaintance for dinner and I had the feeling she would be late so I asked her are you an on time person or a late person.
She replied, I'm always late. I said, well then I can't meet you for dinner because I don't wait for late people anymore. I was glad she was honest so I didn't waste my time.

To the on time person how long do you wait for someone that is late ?

To the habitually late person how long do you expect someone to wait for you ?
A better question is why do you put up with it?

First off, if someone is running late, you call or you text the person and inform them. No excuse not to do this.

I am very rarely late, but if I am I let the person know right away and it's never more than 15 minutes or so. This is usually if I am picking them up, if I am meeting someone at a restaurant, unless there is a traffic accident I am there on time. By I am time for hair cutting appointments, book club, etc. I think everyone's time is important not just mine.

But I also don't put up with people who are always late.

I ended a friendship over it. This person would hold everyone up, and I now realize it was about control.

I had invited them to a concert at the Hollywood Bowl(I bought the tickets) and I lied and told them the show was an hour earlier than it really was. They were angry when they found out, too bad I wasn't missing some of the concert. Based on past experience with them. I ended it shortly after that.

That was 20 years ago, I don't put up with it anymore.

So if you're talking repeat people, I wouldn't put up with it. They get one pass and if it happens again, why bother? Same thing with someone who makes plans and than cancels at the last minute, one pass, happens again and that's it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top