A strange conversation I had with a woman (workplace, wife, girlfriend)

[RamenAddict]

Originally Posted by anelli

She was not trying to bait me into talking about my ex wife and ex girlfriend. She didn't know about any of that. She was having a conversation with her friends about something else entirely, namely "where have all the good men gone".


So when she directly invited me to join in, I told her that if she isn't finding good men then maybe that's because she isn't attracting or noticing them. Good men only go with good women, and good women don't have problems finding good men. It's only low quality women who have problems.


The only other possibility of course is that there are no good men. But that's obviously nonsense.


There's a big difference between me mentioning the bad actions of two individual women and then clarifying that I'm referring only to those two individuals, and her claiming that there are no good men.


She wasn't very happy when I mentioned what my ex wife and ex girlfriend did, because it shattered her view that all women are perfect little snowflakes. So that's why she tried to embarrass me by insinuating that I'm gay (her euphemism for not being much of a man).


What happened in the rest of the conversation should be pretty obvious, and at least a couple of people can see how stupid she ended up looking.

So basically you were implying that a coworker is low-quality. Gee, I can't imagine why that ended poorly and why she said she didn't think you liked women very much.

It sounds like you were eavesdropping on her conversation and when she invited you to join in, you insulted the women conversing.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by anelli

I was chatting with a woman at work a couple of days ago about men and women, dating and whatnot, and here's the last part of the conversation :



HER : You don't like women very much, do you?


ME : Well, the truth is, I'm gay
(Pause)
Do you believe me?


HER : No


ME : Ok so we're back to me liking women then


HER : No I mean based on the things you've been saying


ME : Well there's lots of things I don't like
(Pause)
But women ain't one of them


HER : But what about what you said earlier?


ME : Do you like all men?


HER : No of course not


ME : So is it not ok for me to not like all women?


HER : Well I suppose so, but...[then her eyes glazed over, confused]


ME : Ok well get back to me when you've figured out the rest of that sentence




What do you think she was thinking during my pauses? It was a very funny conversation from my point of view by the way.

Go back to the beginning of the conversation. What would make you ask someone if they "believe" you about being gay? If someone said, "I'm gay" it wouldn't occur to me to not believe them. That's just odd.

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by anelli

She wasn't very happy when I mentioned what my ex wife and ex girlfriend did, because it shattered her view that all women are perfect little snowflakes. So that's why she tried to embarrass me by insinuating that I'm gay (her euphemism for not being much of a man).

I think you may be projecting a bit here! You know nothing about this woman.

[RbccL]

Originally Posted by zentropa

I think you may be projecting a bit here! You know nothing about this woman.

Well, how about if he changes his story a little bit more, maybe goes back and has a beginning before the beginning where he explains he's known this coworker a long time, she's in and out of prison and the only 2 women hes ever said anything negative about are the 2 he mentioned and that's the first time.
Will you agree with him then?

[Zoisite]

Anelli, after reading your posts here and seeing the condescending manner in which you have made reference to her and other women I think she was right in her first estimation. You simply don't like women.

.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by anelli

What happened in the rest of the conversation should be pretty obvious, and at least a couple of people can see how stupid she ended up looking.

It's really not obvious. What IS obvious is that you started off with an insult. Everything you wrote points to a superiority complex. For some reason, you couldn't just make conversation but had to take an offensive stance with some co-workers in the break room.

It's just the kind of comment that would make the 5th-grade version of me on the playground yell out, "Woo! Big man!"

[.sparrow.]

Well, what was the first part of the conversation that prompted her to say you don't like women very much?

This has probably already been asked.
I didn't read the thread.

[kitty61]

Ever wonder if the person conversing with you has anything between the ears?

[anelli]

Originally Posted by .sparrow.

Well, what was the first part of the conversation that prompted her to say you don't like women very much?

This has probably already been asked.
I didn't read the thread.

I posted the earlier bit a couple of pages ago. Here's the whole thing in order :



We had this conversation as a result of something that she said to me. In other words she started the conversation. I was on a break and I happened to be sitting next to her and her friends. They were talking about their experiences with men and the things that various men have done or said to them. I was listening to the conversation but I wasn't particularly interested in joining.


I noticed her looking my way a few times while talking to her friends, and after a while it became clear that she was hoping that I'd engage. I smiled politely in acknowledgement but I wasn't interested in joining in. I was about to leave and get back to work when she said to one of her friends "I know it's a cliché, but seriously, where are all the good men?" while half looking in my direction, indicating that she really, really wanted me to engage. I got up to leave when she said "Hey, [my name], what do you think?"


And that's how I got involved in their conversation. I replied to her that if she doesn't know where all the good men are, it means that either she's not really looking for good men (hence why she never notices them) or it means that good men are not pursuing her for whatever reason. The only other theoretical possibility is that there really are very few or no good men, which of course would be ridiculous to assume. So it's got to be one of the other two possibilities.

Then she said something which looking back I guess I should have seen coming. She said "Awww, someone must have hurt you". I responded to this facetious comment by mentioning my ex wife and ex girlfriend and what they did, while at the same time clarifying that the actions of these two individuals pertains to them and them alone, no one else.




(Here's the last bit of the conversation) :




ME : (mentioning that my ex wife stole $50,000 worth of valuables from me and my ex girlfriend cheated on me several times)


HER : You don't like women very much, do you?


ME : Well, the truth is, I'm gay (obviously joking, in response to her insinuation)
(Pause)
Do you believe me?


HER : No


ME : Ok so we're back to me liking women then


HER : No I mean based on the things you've been saying


ME : Well there's lots of things I don't like
(Pause)
But women ain't one of them


HER : But what about what you said earlier?


ME : Do you like all men?


HER : No of course not


ME : So is it not ok for me to not like all women?


HER : Well I suppose so, but...[then her eyes glazed over, confused]


ME : Ok well get back to me when you've figured out the rest of that sentence

[zentropa]

You acted like a bully.