Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Asks for advice about asking for advice, then picks apart the advice to justify asking in the first place.
Insecure much?
In my field, it's a sink or swim mentality. If I was as unsure of myself as you are, I'd have been fired already.
Good for you!
Since your post seems to only reiterate the word 'insecure' without much substance behind it, I can safely assume you have the type of co-worker/boss who feeds on people's 'weaknesses' to make themselves feel better. How miserable. But if it makes you feel better, good for you.
However, given the defensive nature of your non-constructive response, please allow me to disregard it. I hope people in your field are more nuanced than you are!
On this note, I'm wishing you a pleasant day.
By the way, this very same girl who I asked my questions too thinks I'm way overqualified for this job. She told me herself, so I'm going to stick to my judgment.
Insecure because I discussed a signature on a document that needed to be sent that day but the line manager was gone?
Of course!
I'm sure this says a lot about how I don't understand my hierarchical process and that I have to wait until she gets back to append the missing signature! Yes, this shows how insecure I am about something so trivial They should indeed get rid of me for discussing a signature on a piece of paper. It's definitely going to benefit them.
Unless you work in my department and in my company, you have no clue how things work over here. So, I'm going to leave it at that with you.
Go to your manager yourself for any questions. That is whom you are responsible to, and they need to know if you need more training. your manager is responsible to train you for your job to be able to do it rightly.
Insecure because I discussed a signature on a document that needed to be sent that day but the line manager was gone?
Of course!
I'm sure this says a lot about how I don't understand my hierarchical process and that I have to wait until she gets back to append the missing signature! Yes, this shows how insecure I am about something so trivial They should indeed get rid of me for discussing a signature on a piece of paper. It's definitely going to benefit them.
Unless you work in my department and in my company, you have no clue how things work over here. So, I'm going to leave it at that with you.
You're very defensive, and argumentative with anyone who questions what you said or did. I don't think you were out of line, but I also think it is partially your fault for even being in the situation. It has taken you 8 months to figure out that this person wants to undermine you. It should have taken maybe 2 questions from you for you to figure out that you should ask someone else. You can't control her, only yourself. You should have just stopped talking to her months ago. You didn't. That's on you.
What you tried to do by asking her to stop was reasonable but some people won't change or listen. So I would stop asking her.
Case in point at my job: I have a co-worker who can't keep a secret or any private information to himself. I have since learned never to tell this guy anything I don't mind other people knowing because I know he can't keep anything to himself. I learned the hard way.
I'm not entirely sure I made the right move with this co-worker.
We work in the same department and sit on the same row (next to each other), except I don't have a team as I work on my own and she works with two other people. We have the same position. She's been there for a year and I arrived 8 months ago.
As I have no team, I sometimes ask her questions because she's sitting next to me and when she doesn't know, she has this habit of going to managers or senior analysts to ask my question by saying "(My name) would like to know blah bla". The problem is that she goes up to them without me even realizing. I ask her a question, she tells me she doesn't know then waits a few minutes and brings it up to my manager or any senior analyst. She did it a few times and I didn't say anything but it made me feel uncomfortable.
However, she did it today regarding something trivial that I told her could wait until Monday until the manager is back. No, she suddenly went to the soon to be our team lead (who already does not like me) to tell her '(my name) has a problem, she doesn't know blah blah'. It really pissed me off, because I told her it could wait until Monday until the manager comes in. She takes my matters into her own hand, which makes me look like I am too scared of asking the question.
Today, when she did it, I politely told her 'Thanks, I appreciate your help, but for next time, please let me ask the question to them myself if need be'. Then she replied: 'Well, if you're not going to ask the question, I might as well do it myself'. I explained to her and she barely listened to me and kept typing on her computer. I left after that. I thought that really belittled me because I knew my matter was not urgent and was so trivial that it did not require the intervention of a third party.
She's been very very helpful to me, but I don't like this behavior of her taking my matters into her own hands. It makes me look like I have zero assertiveness.
She's the kind to also write on small papers to her co-worker sitting next to her, so nobody hears/sees their convos. They keep monitoring the breaks of another analyst working with them and reporting to management every single mistake (even trivial) or everything he says, which makes me distrust her and her 'friend'.
Of course, her friend who does not like me very much kept watching.
My intention was not to be rude, but to simply establish limits as I'm no longer a new recruit. This behavior of hers makes me look bad and her response I found to be quite demeaning to be honest. Especially, as my manager told me once 'you need to show you exist and go ask questions yourself to other analysts/managers'.
Part of me makes me think she does it purposely to make herself look good. Did I cross the line?
Good old fashioned office politics. Some things change, most things remain the same.
In this case, it wasn't a matter of training. It was more of a practical question because I'm now fully comfortable with the processes, procedures despite my two day training (yes three days) and the rest of my team being offshore.
I have to agree on the fact that her response shows her true thoughts on me as an employee. She was definitely undermining me.
When I told her politely to let me ask my questions myself because I had a talk with management, she completely ignored me which I believe is highly unprofessional.
There are situations where even though I know, I like the confirmation from another coworker that I am indeed right. And I have coworkers that do this with me (even though they've been on the job a lot longer than I have) so I've experienced it from both sides.
But if you've told her not to ask the questions on your behalf I wouldn't bounce any ideas off of her. Because you already know what she is going to do. With some work environments it is more about perception; you'll have smarter workers that don't honestly want to talk to anyone but are more than competent in their job that aren't getting ahead in the department because they're not social with management, and they do not feed into the ego of management. It is what it is.
Unless it's required for something, you don't ever want to initiate any commutation with a toxic co-worker. After 8 months, you surely already have a list of go-to people who are likely to know what you need to know to get something done. If you don't, that needs to be your highest priority.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
They should indeed get rid of me for discussing a signature on a piece of paper. It's definitely going to benefit them.
