Why do my friends suddenly think I don't like them?
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Would you freaking relax dude? Seriously. I mentioned the trip one time in my post, and it's not even the main point. It's something I wouldn't be doing if I truly disliked them, and I just wanted to mention it. But anyway, if they ask about it again, I'll just say I was tired.
I won't push, but he does have a point.
The worst trip I ever took was to Vegas with two friends, one of whom was a complete and total bore. Didn't say much, walked slowly, didn't seem interested in anything we wanted to do.
After the second day, we got up in the morning and left him in the room by himself.
Is it not possible that it's on their minds that you might continue to act this way and ruin their vacation?
Would you freaking relax dude? Seriously. I mentioned the trip one time in my post, and it's not even the main point. It's something I wouldn't be doing if I truly disliked them, and I just wanted to mention it. But anyway, if they ask about it again, I'll just say I was tired.
I am very relaxed....LOL.
I love when people post a situation on CD, than get an attitude when they don't hear what they want to hear.
Of course you want to come here to CA, it's a big tourist destination. I was just saying you should be clear as to what you expect from the trip. If you can't just say "I'm tired", I doubt you have discussed the trip much....that's all.
You expect people to read minds, good luck with that.
I love when people post a situation on CD, than get an attitude when they don't hear what they want to hear.
Of course you want to come here to CA, it's a big tourist destination. I was just saying you should be clear as to what you expect from the trip. If you can't just say "I'm tired", I doubt you have discussed the trip much....that's all.
You expect people to read minds, good luck with that.
Ok. I guess I'll talk to them about it then. If they don't want to go with me because of my supposedly "bad personality," then they can invite my ex or someone else's.
The worst trip I ever took was to Vegas with two friends, one of whom was a complete and total bore. Didn't say much, walked slowly, didn't seem interested in anything we wanted to do.
After the second day, we got up in the morning and left him in the room by himself.
Is it not possible that it's on their minds that you might continue to act this way and ruin their vacation?
Thank you.
I would imagine it would be on their minds.
Anytime you travel with people(and especially when you have never traveled with them before)it's best to make sure everyone is some type of agreement as to what you want to do before you leave. You don't want to find out once you're there that you can't agree on what to do, you also want to be clear on expenses, especially when you're going with a couple as single person.
And here we have it. You are still pining for your ex.
I think they have valid concerns of what will happen on their trip. It would make them feel bad to just leave you behind, but it's not worth it to drag someone along that will just become an anchor on their fun.
And here we have it. You are still pining for your ex.
I think they have valid concerns of what will happen on their trip. It would make them feel bad to just leave you behind, but it's not worth it to drag someone along that will just become an anchor on their fun.
No I am not. I haven't even thought about my ex. I'm saying if she wants to go on this trip, and if they don't want me along, they can invite her if she wants to come or somebody else. I absolutely love it how if someone mentions their ex one time or if it relates to a story, like, "My ex always goes to that bar also," that it automatically means they still love them. Smh.
xxBlue
Posting on an open forum will bring all sorts of responses. As we don't know the full story, there will be conjecture.
You are being a little sensitive. Accept the advice that resonates with you & ignore what doesn't.
I'm wondering if you were more outgoing when you were in a relationship?
In your position I'd send a nice 'Thank-you' card expressing how much you appreciate their friendship & that you're looking forward to the trip. We males aren't usually very good at expressing how we feel but we can learn : )
This may sound obvious but if you're always tired then you're not getting enough sleep. Sometimes we're unable to see ourselves. What you see as 'quiet' others may interpret differently.
Yeah, I think so. There was another time that they mentioned to me that they felt like I was very quiet around them and didn't open up that much, but besides that, they never mentioned it. I hang out with them easily 2-3 times per week when I am home, and I'm certainly not doing that out of obligation. I do it because I genuinely like them.
Thanks for this additional bit of info. It still seems odd that friends who are close enough that they see you 2-3 times/week, every week that you're in town, wouldn't know that you tend toward being the quiet type, or have a somewhat introverted nature. It's just odd that they'd extrapolate from your being quiet that you don't like them, when in fact, you seek their company on a frequent basis. It's one of those "how did the get from A to D?" type of things. But at least they asked if you were ok.
How long have you known these people? Did they first meet you when you were more bubbly, or something? Or do they have insecurities about people liking them? lol Or do they tend to think that everything is about them?
It's great that you have good friends to hang out with regularly, though.
Even though it's not part of the topic, in view of your friends' thinking process, I agree with the others, that discussing, as in--hashing out in person, expectations for the CA trip in advance would be a good idea. What if they're the type of vacationers who like to go-go-go all the time, while you prefer to do stuff maybe part of the day, and relax by the pool or at the beach the rest of the day? What if after a couple of days, they decide you're really not into the trip, just because you like more down time than they do? They seem to jump to conclusions, just because you're low-key.
Couples or friends who travel together sometimes end up breaking up, just because they discover they have radically different travel styles. It might be a good investment in your friendship, a preventive measure to avoid more misunderstandings, to talk about what the itinerary might be, and how intense of a schedule you all want or don't want.
Thanks for this additional bit of info. It still seems odd that friends who are close enough that they see you 2-3 times/week, every week that you're in town, wouldn't know that you tend toward being the quiet type, or have a somewhat introverted nature. It's just odd that they'd extrapolate from your being quiet that you don't like them, when in fact, you seek their company on a frequent basis. It's one of those "how did the get from A to D?" type of things. But at least they asked if you were ok.
How long have you known these people? Did they first meet you when you were more bubbly, or something? Or do they have insecurities about people liking them? lol Or do they tend to think that everything is about them?
It's great that you have good friends to hang out with regularly, though.
Even though it's not part of the topic, in view of your friends' thinking process, I agree with the others, that discussing, as in--hashing out in person, expectations for the CA trip in advance would be a good idea. What if they're the type of vacationers who like to go-go-go all the time, while you prefer to do stuff maybe part of the day, and relax by the pool or at the beach the rest of the day? What if after a couple of days, they decide you're really not into the trip, just because you like more down time than they do? They seem to jump to conclusions, just because you're low-key.
Couples or friends who travel together sometimes end up breaking up, just because they discover they have radically different travel styles. It might be a good investment in your friendship, a preventive measure to avoid more misunderstandings, to talk about what the itinerary might be, and how intense of a schedule you all want or don't want.
I do have a lot on my plate right now since I'm currently in the process of transferring colleges, and I applied to very selective schools that I'm worried about getting into, but I know that shouldn't affect my overall personality. Maybe I was more bubbly when I first met them, but very little, of anything, has changed about my personality. And I actually am the go-go type on vacations, but I can see how you wouldn't think so. The "pining for my ex" post honestly made my blood boil, because I get sick of the fact that whenever someone mentions their ex in passing, it automatically means that they still love them.
I do have a lot on my plate right now since I'm currently in the process of transferring colleges, and I applied to very selective schools that I'm worried about getting into, but I know that shouldn't affect my overall personality. Maybe I was more bubbly when I first met them, but very little, of anything, has changed about my personality. And I actually am the go-go type on vacations, but I can see how you wouldn't think so. The "pining for my ex" post honestly made my blood boil, because I get sick of the fact that whenever someone mentions their ex in passing, it automatically means that they still love them.
Well, I assume your friends would know what's going on in your life, and what might be stressing you out or distracting you, so that still doesn't explain why they would think your subdued nature the other day would be about them. Maybe the topic will come up next time you see them, and you'll have an opportunity to clarify, and reassure them.
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