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I knew a person many years ago who always said "you think this and that" to other people as he would know what they would be thinking. He rarely told what he is thinking. That was rude.
This reminds me of the time I tried to open a fully functioning Cinnabun stand in my apartment and was doing quite well at it before I accidentally caused a fire and had to close for construction which eventually led to me getting kicked out.
But this is nothing, and I mean nothing compared to the time I organized a running of the bulls in my own city without letting the city or police department know about it. OMG! It was so fun. I ran the fastest and I think everyone had a great time, even that lady who lost the double stroller to the stampeded. I could tell by the way she was screaming she was just really into it.
Of course none of this is as embarrassing I had to ask a homeless man for the return of my refrigerator box after giving it to him to live in because I had to return my refrigerator. Can you imagine the gall of the man refusing after I tried to help him? Some people!
Then there was the time I was kicked out of an orgy for refusing to take my shirt off. I was mostly there just to watch anyway.
But, But OP there was this time I hired a magician for my friends funeral and performed impressions. I was doing great until I tried to impersonate my dead friend by trying to get a kiss from his widow. Now that situation totally blew up and I am not sure why, everyone loved it!
I still am a little hurt about the time I brought a bunch of bonobo monkeys to a children's birthday party and watched them run around while I drank rum that I brought from a sippy cup. OMG! The kids and the moneys got along famously. The parents were so uptight!
I could go on about myself all day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
You're doing it wrong, OG. You're supposed to drone on about how you're the hero of everyone's life around you, and how various petty suggestions you made to your friends and relatives were life-changing for them. Then throw in a few tedious stories about some "interesting" cases you resolved in your illustrious career as an insurance adjuster or lawyer, when you held the courtroom in rapt attention, or presented the arcane details of winning a settlement for your client, who thanked you profusely afterwards.
Then, the next time you see the same person you just regaled with your brilliance, you repeat the same stories, because you've forgotten you already told that batch to this person. My brother is a master at driving people away from him.
You're both doing it wrong! What most people find fascinating about others are the DETAILS! What did you have for breakfast and how did you prepare it? What did you and your sister talk about on the phone when she called? Where did you go to college 25 years ago? What did you major in? How long did it take you to graduate? Any extra curricular activities? What about your health? Have you had any medical procedures lately? How did they go? Do you have any pictures to share? Oh--and let's not forget about your workout! Everyone loves to hear details of other peoples' workouts!
You're both doing it wrong! What most people find fascinating about others are the DETAILS! What did you have for breakfast and how did you prepare it? What did you and your sister talk about on the phone when she called? Where did you go to college 25 years ago? What did you major in? How long did it take you to graduate? Any extra curricular activities? What about your health? Have you had any medical procedures lately? How did they go? Do you have any pictures to share? Oh--and let's not forget about your workout! Everyone loves to hear details of other peoples' workouts!
^^^That's the good stuff we all long to hear. ^^^
Don't forget about traffic. I get people that drone on about how "it was pretty backed up at the 40 exchange. But then it lightened up a few miles later. Then some jerk cut me off. The traffic was worse than yesterday. Not sure why. Then there's that construction zone. It starts at Franklin Avenue - right Betty? Franklin? No? Where does the construction zone start now? Didn't they start work in November? Oh, was it December? That's right."
Those aren't the only two options for conversation topics. One can talk about ideas, about events, about different aspects of human endeavor, the news of the day, science as it pertains to current issues, and so much more. Think about how rich and varied the whole of life is; potential topics are endless. People whose interests are limited to themselves or gossip about others are missing out on much of what life has to offer. Like people who talk about TV show episodes.
The art of conversation is dead in the US, for the most part.
What? Ya mean people are supposed to raise their heads and take a momentary break from their smart phones, tablets and laptops, Facebook, twitter, tweets and texts and actually engage one another, face-to-face and eye-to-eye, even when sitting across the table from one another? How strange is that?
It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
Being a person with high IQ,
I have noticed that people with low IQ get offended when you tell them that you know a lot about anything.
In my case, I don't give a crap if a person is smarter than I am, as long as it's true
It seems to be it gets seen in a negative light. I've noticed people who don't like to talk about themselves tend to gossip about others. That has been my observation from what I've seen. I'll admit I enjoy talking about myself. Sorry, if that makes me come off as narcissistic. I'm not into gossip and talking about people that I have no contact with.
Because generally people who like to talk about themselves only like to talk about themselves. There is no give and take only the ramblings of some self absorbed narcissist.
What? Ya mean people are supposed to raise their heads and take a momentary break from their smart phones, tablets and laptops, Facebook, twitter, tweets and texts and actually engage one another, face-to-face and eye-to-eye, even when sitting across the table from one another? How strange is that?
What is this thing you call "conversation?"
I'm sorry to break it to you, but conversation was dead in the US long before electronic devices. We can't blame it all on them.
I'm reminded of Werner Herzog's film about life at the South Pole. As he arrives, heading toward McMurdo Station, he crosses paths with a Russian, driving one of their snow/ice vehicles. This guy appears to be a simple driver and maybe a handyman or basic technician, not a scientist. In the course of the conversation, he waxes philosophical about life there, and quotes Pushkin or Tolstoy. He wasn't doing this for the camera, he was just being Russian. I wish there had been some follow-up to that, with a visit to the Russian research base there.
Russia is my go-to place to experience the art of conversation.
Those aren't the only two options for conversation topics. One can talk about ideas, about events, about different aspects of human endeavor, the news of the day, science as it pertains to current issues, and so much more. Think about how rich and varied the whole of life is; potential topics are endless. People whose interests are limited to themselves or gossip about others are missing out on much of what life has to offer.
Going on and on dominating all conversations with tales of only one's own life is a sure-fire way to get people to want to avoid you like the plague.
But as you said, gossip is not the only alternative. Otherwise, life would be very boring and limited.
You're totally right when you point out that as big as the world is and with so many subjects in life, the OP & anyone else should never be lacking in topics to discuss that interest them both.
What? Ya mean people are supposed to raise their heads and take a momentary break from their smart phones, tablets and laptops, Facebook, twitter, tweets and texts and actually engage one another, face-to-face and eye-to-eye, even when sitting across the table from one another? How strange is that?
What is this thing you call "conversation?"
LOL...so very true. You can see it in restaurants, even in movies before the picture starts, people aren't talking to the people they came with, they're staring down at their phones.
Sad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I'm sorry to break it to you, but conversation was dead in the US long before electronic devices. We can't blame it all on them.
I'm reminded of Werner Herzog's film about life at the South Pole. As he arrives, heading toward McMurdo Station, he crosses paths with a Russian, driving one of their snow/ice vehicles. This guy appears to be a simple driver and maybe a handyman or basic technician, not a scientist. In the course of the conversation, he waxes philosophical about life there, and quotes Pushkin or Tolstoy. He wasn't doing this for the camera, he was just being Russian. I wish there had been some follow-up to that, with a visit to the Russian research base there.
Russia is my go-to place to experience the art of conversation.
No, it wasn't. At least nothing this bad.
There has been a major shift in the last decade or so, and it's very noticeable if you're paying attention.
People walking around in stores staring down at phones, a group of people supposedly eating a meal together staring down at phones. Some people just can't seem to put them down.
One of the funniest things I saw was a group of twenty somethings seemed to be coworkers at a restaurant on their lunch break. One guy did try to get a conversation going but the rest were into their phones.
Why not just go eat lunch by yourself and brown bag it? You can save money and clearly you don't want to talk to anyone?
To say there hasn't be a shift is to be in denial.
I learned a great lesson when I was about 24 years old about the fact that I talked about myself more than listened to other people.
I had a live-in boyfriend and his horrid mother came to visit us often for as long as a month at a time. It was torture. She was very unkind to me.
My boyfriend and I were in a band at the time, and on breaks we'd go sit with his mother, who had been invited to sit at a table with some of our friends. His mother started to tell me things about my friends that she found interesting, and I never knew about.
It was actually shameful. I'd known my friends for several years and didn't know some simple things about their backgrounds and interests. My evil sort-of-mother-in-law had simply asked them about themselves and listened.
As much as I couldn't stand her, I learned a great lesson from her on how to ask someone else about themselves and listen. I'm actually pretty good at it now. But, I do have to watch myself, because I like to vent about my life and my goals and problems - which of course, is me talking about me and expecting someone else to listen. So, it's still an effort on my part. But, I'm much better at listening to people and asking them about themselves and really caring and remembering what they say.
Everyone needs to be listened to. If there isn't real give and take, nobody is going to stick around - unless they want something else from you.
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We can't blame it all on them.
