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Do I really need therapy? I guess maybe social anxiety wasn't the right term, perhaps a mild form of it actually?
Naw. You don't need therapy. You just need to put yourself out there. The more you do it, the easier it will become. In fact, the therapist will even suggest this to you.
Start with baby steps: start speaking to people even if it is just saying hi or how are you, ask people questions, start a study group or find a study buddy, sit next to somebody interesting in class, join a club you are interested in.
I am an extreme introvert who craves solitude, but I have learned that generally speaking you have to allow yourself to be a bit of a social klutz at first in order to grow. It is a process and doesn't happen overnight, but start small and then once you realize the world won't end- and it actually might be fun- if you initiate a conversation, you will begin to feel more confident.
The worst thing that might happen is that someone might be rude and not receptive, and if so, then shrug it off and move on, but I bet that the majority will be more than willing to accept your tentative overtures of friendship. A huge part of this is realizing that your self-worth isn't dependent on what others think of you.
if you are male hire a hooker.... you can relax,,,,you have a babe and don't have to impress her....
practice on here.. and she will help you...
most young men I use to know with such anxiety,,,women scared them more than vicious dogs....
if you are a female,,,,,with such anxiety then smile more ....say hi ... men are easy men are like dogs you smile and wave and they will come running with tails wagging ....
recognize most of your fears are coming from within...(or manufactured).. find the root of those fears and let them go,,,,its easier said than done....
I was called to get in front of 300 people years ago I damn near pee'd myself,,,my leg was shaking,,,heart was pumping out of my chest...
fortunately it was question and answer so I could focus on one person...then I noticed the girl asking the question was also nervous so I nodded my head and smiled at her to make her more comfortable and as I did that most of my fear was gone... so I manufactured most of my own anxiety
anxiety with the public sometimes comes down to confidence within yourself.....liking yourself so you aren't seeking external approval... come to realize no one controls your emotion but you ....so why do you torture yourself?? some comfortable grand illusion??? paying penance for past sins...you deserve it??
fear attaches deep in many areas ....try to replace it with contentment .. settle your own internal conflicts and the storms will subside
I made what I feel was a pretty good post on this exact subject, how to overcome shyness or introversion--in the Psychology forum section--and I used search to find my post which I will repeat here. My previous post may not fit this topic exactly, but this is how I overcame shyness myself. Mind you, I had been shy since I was a child. These days I consider myself midway between introverted and extroverted, neutral, and I enjoy social interactions with people I meet in everyday life.
Quote:
Since my very early years I've been shy, introverted, and found it difficult to look people in the eyes when talking with them.
Several years ago I decided to change this. You may find this pathetic but I practiced smiling in the mirror until I could call up a convincing smile, then began practicing it on strangers in public, shopping etc. The more I did this the more it became a learned behavior and these days I always have a ready smile for everybody. It makes me feel good when they smile back.
Not content with this, I began starting conversations with complete strangers, again while shopping. I discovered that the more I did it the easier it became, and I've reached the point that I entertain myself with chatting with other shoppers particularly in the check out line, and enjoy it.
Finally, the eye to eye thing. It made me uncomfortable. I just forced myself to look directly at peoples' eyes no matter how uncomfortable it was for me. Again as I persisted it became easier and easier until today it's no effort at all, and gives me a feeling of being more connected to friends, family and strangers.
Admittedly this is not a huge personality change but these days I feel much more connected with other people ranging from friends to complete strangers, I feel more connected to humanity, I enjoy my shopping trips more and I enjoy the social stimulation I had previously cut myself off from.
But as I said perhaps this is not a personality change as much as a learned shift of personality. Fake it and get used to it and at some point you aren't faking it any more. Perhaps it's a small personality change. I can live with that, and it has improved my appreciation of social interactions.
You can make changes like this provided (1) you recognize a need for change, and (2) are willing to take the steps to accomplish your desired change.
To sum it up, I did it myself. I was very uncomfortable but it was a bad time in my life and I needed more social interaction--even with strangers--and I successfully fixed my shyness. I'm confident that nobody today would ever call me shy, and only long time friends would remember the old days when I was shy.
And my advice if you can't do it yourself, just see a psychologist and get some professional help. IMO this would be a very easy social problem that could be treated by a mental healthcare professional, and your likelihood of a total cure is almost assured unless you have underlying problems.
SucceedSocially.com is an extensive, completely free collection of articles on social skills and getting past social awkwardness. It's written by someone who's struggled socially himself, and who's also educated in psychology and counseling.
I have another suggestion - how about Toastmasters? The group I go to is very supportive in helping people to be more social and come out of their shell - but gradually. Yes, it is about public speaking but you slowly learn to become more comfortable talking to other people. It is fairly low cost and there is a wide range ages in the group. I go and it's helped me a lot. Looks good on a resume too!
I had a friend who was a Toastmasters member for a few years. I attended 1-2 of their meetings as audience.
It could help shyness. I'd recommend my DIY method or psychotherapy over it though.
If you fear public speaking then it would be an excellent choice.
During my career as an engineer I attended so many meetings and ended up leading meetings that I simply lost my fear of public speaking.
Interviewing prospective employees helped that too. It's very empowering when you are the interviewer and the person on the other side of the table is looking for a job.
So I am a 19 year old teen in my first year of uni. So far, I haven't very social. I do have friends but I don't see them that often because I am hugely introverted. In fact, just know I saw some of them eating out in a large group and instead of joining them, I went upstairs to my room due to my social anxiety. How can I overcome this?
I never overcame it... I learned to live it with and tried to socialize with other people.
Focus on getting your degree, getting a job, raising a family and making a lot of money. Improve the energy around you so that you can attract people.
And in my experience, the best friends are made during schools days. Rest of them compete with you - in college or at work.
Finally remember this statement " Everyone else comes up to the grave. Not into the grave" .
That's your experience. Mine (and plenty of others) made the best friends in college. And at my college, there wasn't any competition at all (except maybe if you majored in accounting or finance, haha).
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