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Has anyone you've known ever had a strange preoccupation or seemingly unhealthy obsession with you, romantic or non-romantic? As in loved to gossip or talk about you, attempt to contact you through other people or through cyberspace, stalk you on social media or anywhere else, and you can't figure out why they are so preoccupied with you?
Yes, I have - some years back, I had a stalker on AOL IM. This person created multiple usernames just to IM me with a very disgusting sexual comment, and then immediately log off. It didn't matter how, or if I responded to them at all, this person just seemed obsessed with contacting me.
Eventually I had to adjust my privacy settings to where only those on my "Buddy List" could contact me, and that stopped the problem. I never did find out who was behind this or why they were doing it, and while it definitely could've been a lot worse, it very much creeped me out at the time. (I was afraid of what this person would do if somehow they got ahold of my personal information)
I believe it happens moreso with men for women, than vice versa...but take it to another level:
How about instances of women obsessing over and/or stalking men? I'm not talking about exes, either. I'm talking about a guy meets some woman, she goes bats over him - never mind that they've never even dated! And she calls him at all hours, goes to his house, keeps telling him she loves him - never mind that the guy is either in a relationship, married, or single and not looking. This ever happen IRL?
Not in my adult life, but when I was a kid, sure. There was a girl in my class who I befriended, but she became weird and would call me every second of the afternoons after school as over. It got to the point where she would leave me really creepy messages. Turns out she had some kind of mental issue and they LITERALLY pulled her out of school kicking & screaming (I mean, they yanked her out of class one day kicking & screaming, and I never saw her again).
Freshman year in high school, a guy kind of introduced himself to me in class. He asked me out and I turned him down...just wasn't my type. He lied to my friend to get my number and stalked me for months. He was always at my locker between classes and called my house constantly. Eventually he backed off.
Luckily I don't know any nutty people like that in my 30s.
I knew a guy in grad school who talked about me all the time and asked someone else to give me his phone number. He called me a couple of times asking me out. I wouldn't, because I thought it was creepy that he got my phone number from someone else rather than asking me straight up for it. I also felt uncomfortable with the way he was asking questions about me all the time. I've always got this weird feeling he's going to re-surface some day. I didn't want to set up a social media profile for a long time just because of people like him.
Has anyone you've known ever had a strange preoccupation or seemingly unhealthy obsession with you, romantic or non-romantic? As in loved to gossip or talk about you, attempt to contact you through other people or through cyberspace, stalk you on social media or anywhere else, and you can't figure out why they are so preoccupied with you?
No, not that I'm aware of. I guess I'm not interesting enough to be stalked.
I'd just read a book or watch an exciting t.v. show. It would be easier.
But a book or a TV doesn't give a person that personalized reaction or attention.
I have a friend that's currently going through this with her now ex bestie. They had a falling out when the bestie blamed my friend for her own life spiraling of control. My friend was trying to be supportive but ultimately became a punching bag/toxic dump for the ex-bestie. Got to the point where my friend had to back out and disengage, but now the bestie is stalking her, smearing/gossiping about my friend, showing up at random times... She even called the cops on my friend claiming that my friend was "harassing and bullying" her (the cops were pretty mad when they realized the situation and said they would talk to the Xbestie and her mom. The Xbestie is 37yo). Pretty nuts. My friend is saying she knew her friend was a little crazy but not this crazy.
Definitely it's a lot to do with boundary issues and the lack of respect for it.
Yes. You have to ignore them. What they want is a reaction from you. No reaction whatsoever equals boring to them.
I couldn't ignore Alice. We had a 3-hour, once-a-week evening class together. She tried to latch onto me, right from the beginning. She was a sorority girl, which was a complete turn-off for me. Although quite substantially built and with cover-girl looks, she also had a motor-mouth and never gave any thought before she spoke.
There was another woman in the class , who was very special and we developed a mutual interest. But instead of spending time with her during class breaks, I had to concentrate on dodging Alice. She'd sometimes sit right next to me, to keep the preferred one from being able to do it. She found my parents' phone number and made friends with my mother. She spent an afternoon visiting her, because they had the same handiwork hobby.
She constantly tried to call me at home and my mother couldn't understand why I was so rude to such a nice young woman. Alice even got our instructor to ask me if I would drive her home one evening and then pleaded with me to come inside to meet her roommates. To my chagrin, I gave in and met them, but left immediately.
Our instructor had a Christmas party for our class, which was of a foreign language. I took a non-romantic woman friend with me, who spoke the language, just for the purpose of holding-off Alice. It worked, as she thought that woman was a girlfriend and didn't bother me again. But I couldn't bear to return for a 2nd term of that class, and so lost touch with the woman I wanted to be seeing. This class was held at a different campus, 40 miles away from my home university.
I was angry with myself for letting her sabotage a possible relationship with the other woman, but just the thought of being near her was repugnant to me. The damnedest thing is, that Alice got into the movies and TV and even today, if I'm not careful, an older movie may catch me by surprise and there she is! She's been a guest several times on some of my favorite, prime-time TV programs.
Last edited by Steve McDonald; 04-10-2017 at 03:17 PM..
I was angry with myself for letting her sabotage a possible relationship with the other woman, but just the thought of being near her was repugnant to me. The damnedest thing is, that Alice got into the movies and TV and even today, if I'm not careful, an older movie may catch me by surprise and there she is! She's been a guest several times on some of my favorite, prime-time TV programs.
She sounds like a real piece of work, and even though she's since become successful, it sounds like you still wouldn't want anything to do with her.
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