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Around here, there are so many people from so many different countries. I think it's interesting to find out where people are from and learn more about their cultures.
I will say that when people try to guess my background (very mixed European) they always guess wrong at first. They always guess something like "Irish" even though I don't have any features pointing me in that direction.
Ok. It seems some of you keep saying "but learning about cultures is interesting!" As a student of linguistics I wholeheartedly agree.
What makes you think however the particular person you are asking cares about the culture you assume they come from? It's the information age. You want to learn about culture, you have the ability.
But telling someone they look exotic or they seem out of place or just simply assuming they have some different culture than you is just plain ignorant.
I'm biracial (and my mother is an immigrant), but obviously American. Born here, have never lived in another country, don't even have a regional accent, much less one from outside the US. My first and last names are totally unremarkable. And I've gotten asked where I'm from or the even blunter "what are you?" my entire life. I thought people in Boston were the worst (or at least the most forward) about it, but it's happened to some degree everywhere I've lived. It's not a huge deal, but I do think it's a little annoying. I guess I'm always left wondering why it matters to anyone but me.
Not the least bit surprised about your experiences in Boston.
There's usually three questions asked when meeting someone even when they don't even know your last name; where are you from? what do you do? where'd you go to school?
Or they just stick to the first two.
" what are you? " - yeah, have heard that stupid question asked of people a few times.
If they don't understand the answers very well they continue with questions until they're able to pigeonhole you or have ( in their minds ) determined your socioeconomic status or origins.
But then it's their turn and they'll tell you where there from, what they do etc. even when not asked. Hence, this is who I am and how important I am. - and none of this comes from being asked questions.
- a favorite question from years back from women to men in Boston and this is without even knowing your name: do you rent or do you own?
No joke.
Usually after four questions I ask if I'm on a job interview and they take a hint. If I've had a few drinks the response is a bit more curt and to the point.
I wouldn't care if someone asked me ... too many people easily offended, don't be ashamed of where your from.
What an assumption to make. Ashamed? What if your ancestors have been here so long you have no recollection of your old culture? Why even assume someone has a different culture than you because of their appearance?
This is part of why I don't like entertaining the question...it leads to lengthy & usually ignorant conversations. Truth is most Americans don't know much about the world. Yes, I'm all for them learning, but read a book, study a map. First of all, most Americans have no idea where the country I'm from is even located (it's in Europe, so not really a stretch), so once I tell them, I still have to explain a bunch of stuff cuz they're clueless. .
I've had people ask me where Scotland was. They didn't know! And these are the same people who tell me they are Scottish because their great-great-great-great grandparent came from Scotland. And all I can think is, no, you aren't Scottish, you are American, sorry. An American of Scottish descent, perhaps, but still not Scottish. And look for any possible way to extricate myself from the conversation.
I get asked all the time and don't mind at all. I have had a few people ask in a hostile manner, making some stereotypes about the place where they thought I was from; however that is usually rare. I'm sure most people don't mind as long as you ask out of genuine curiosity and don't make stereotypical assumptions once they reveal.
I am Pakistani American. Born and raised in America. I actually hate being asked this question because in today's political climate, if someone finds out my parents came from Pakistan you can automatically figure out what our religion is - Islam. I don't wear a hijab and I drink alcohol by the way and dress modern. However, I always prepare for the ignorant comments about "sharia law" or some other anti-Islamic gobbledy-goop. That is why I don't like this question.
Sometimes people will ask me where I am from and I answer LA. Then they say, where are you "really" from. At that point, I do find it rude because I was born here.
I have a little chip on my shoulder because people have called my parents "terrorists" and have made rude comments like that, so I always prepare myself for the worst response. That is why I personally would not disclose my ethnicity to anyone unless I am directly asked and then I am cautious about how they are going to treat me because of that information.
I am Hispanic American. I was born and raised here and have no accent. Usually the people who ask me about my "nationality" are caucasians from the South/Bible Belt/Rural areas or obvious right wing/tea party types.
If they ask me where I'm from, I will say Los Angeles. And then I get asked "Where are you really from" or "What is your nationality. It's just a racist question because the implication is that if you are brown, you are really not like me or an American"
If I meet someone for the first time and that is the first thing they ask, I do think less of them. I often find that it is a passive aggressive form of racism. The question is designed to be divisive ie "I'm white and what are you" as if you can't be an American and be like me." Usually people who harbor some form of racism are usually the first to notice race and will ask that question.
I'm from Los Angeles. I spent some time in Dallas, Oklahoma City and Atlanta. Pretty much the only time I was every asked about my race was living in those cities. I never get asked that in LA or Phoenix. I think most would be embarrassed to ask that here but in those cities, they didn't hesitate.
The other dumb question I get asked by is "Why don't you have an accent" or "You speak really good English" It's usually from the same racist idiots who ask about "What is your nationality."
So if you are not racist and you are curious, let me give you some advice, don't ask that question when you first meet someone of a different ethnicity. Asking it later when you get to know them is fine. If you do ask this when you first meet them, you will just be thought of as an idiot. And you probably are an idiot if that's the first question you ask.
I like to fire back though. Usually when I get asked this question, I usually reply with "This may be hard to believe but Americans come in brown too" LOL...it usually puts them on the spot and makes look foolish.
Last edited by azriverfan.; 04-11-2017 at 11:23 PM..
I am Hispanic American. I was born and raised here and have no accent. Usually the people who ask me about my "nationality" are caucasians from the South/Bible Belt/Rural areas or obvious right wing/tea party types.
If they ask me where I'm from, I will say Los Angeles. And then I get asked "Where are you really from" or "What is your nationality. It's just a racist question because the implication is that if you are brown, you are really not like me or an American"
If I meet someone for the first time and that is the first thing they ask, I do think less of them. I often find that it is a passive aggressive form of racism. The question is designed to be divisive ie "I'm white and what are you" as if you can't be an American and be like me." Usually people who harbor some form of racism are usually the first to notice race and will ask that question.
I'm from Los Angeles. I spent some time in Dallas, Oklahoma City and Atlanta. Pretty much the only time I was every asked about my race was living in those cities. I never get asked that in LA or Phoenix. I think most would be embarrassed to ask that here but in those cities, they didn't hesitate.
The other dumb question I get asked by is "Why don't you have an accent" or "You speak really good English" It's usually from the same racist idiots who ask about "What is your nationality."
So if you are not racist and you are curious, let me give you some advice, don't ask that question when you first meet someone of a different ethnicity. Asking it later when you get to know them is fine. If you do ask this when you first meet them, you will just be thought of as an idiot. And you probably are an idiot if that's the first question you ask.
I like to fire back though. Usually when I get asked this question, I usually reply with "This may be hard to believe but Americans come in brown too" LOL...it usually puts them on the spot and makes look foolish.
Take note people. Maybe if people don't like your question, you probably don't know how to ask it.
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