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Hmm I don't think that is accurate statement. I never really kept track of it nor did I even pay attention to him. Nor did I ever rub it in his face like he is doing it to me.
If you didn't keep track back then.. why are you dwelling on it now? I would shelf it and stop wondering about it. Go out and be productive and do what you do best..
Does it bother you that your true colors are the same as his?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana49
Sometimes you'll be up in life and sometimes you'll be down.
I remember the first time I went to college... 4 years. Had an internship that turned into a full time job before graduation. That job required me to take several exams to work in this industry, I passed them all and did very well at my job. Come to find out I can't graduate until I take 2 semesters of a foreign language (I already had two semesters under my belt as a credit from testing out as an incoming freshman.) By my senior year though... I didn't remember any of it, no way would I be able to pass another two semesters.
So I dropped out of college only two classes shy of my degree, and kept working. Got promoted, and transferred to another city, meaning now I would never finish my degree at the college I started from. That really ticked off my mother. I started to hear about how "Bill" had gotten his degree (the son of my mother's close friend, same age as me) so why couldn't I get mine?
Never failed to bring it up whenever the subject of me going back to finish my degree came up. In the meantime however, I was gainfully employed, making pretty good money, while Bill couldn't hold down a job and his parents were the ones paying his rent and all his bills.
Eventually I finished my degree when I was in between jobs, years later, even though it really had no bearing on the work I was doing. Bill however, has never amounted to anything, even 20+ years later.
Worry about your own life, and don't pay attention to any negativity from your relatives. Sometimes our lives don't end up where we want, and even when they do, it's rarely a straight trajectory.
Katana wins the lottery and his mother's first reaction is: "Well maybe you can afford to take some time off work now and finish your degree."
Coming from first-hand experience, I am the only person in my family (and possibly my extended family as well from my generation or before me) who completely college.
It was a completely overrated experience. In hindsight I wish I had never gone.
Look, you don't seem to like this guy. From your description, you were never close. Is he a cousin? Except for occasional family events, why see him at all?
For someone who was generally off your radar, you're really letting this exchange get to you. It's bugging you because you are lacking direction right now. Concentrate on figuring out what your next move is and watch the drinking. It's a depressant and you don't need more of that – especially drinking with this guy.
I don't understand why people are bashing on the OP. I completely understand what he/she is saying. Knowing that you were more successful back in high school or whatever does not mean that you were keeping track or score. Chances are very, very good that it was brought to the OP's attention all the time, too.
OP, someone already answered your question: It's his problem. He does seem bitter about it all, and is now laying it on you because he doesn't have it in him to tell his own family to knock it off. He's gloating. He's being rude about it.
I wouldn't be inviting him over for drinks again, and don't even bother engaging in this type of conversation with him in the future. It's, as you said, very petty.
I don't understand why people are bashing on the OP. I completely understand what he/she is saying. Knowing that you were more successful back in high school or whatever does not mean that you were keeping track or score. Chances are very, very good that it was brought to the OP's attention all the time, too.
OP, someone already answered your question: It's his problem. He does seem bitter about it all, and is now laying it on you because he doesn't have it in him to tell his own family to knock it off. He's gloating. He's being rude about it.
I wouldn't be inviting him over for drinks again, and don't even bother engaging in this type of conversation with him in the future. It's, as you said, very petty.
thank you for the common sense. Feel like people want to assume stuff just to **** me off.
OP, I have friend who had the exact same thing happen to him. He just pursued his own life and education, but he has a cousin who was always jealous. He was oblivious to the competition himself and just said, "WTF?" when he realized his cousin was so competitive with him. To this day, the cousin calls every week with the need to brag, and he's in his fifties!
His cousin and your relative are victims of their own family making them feel "less than". You just happened to be the example they used to beat your relative over the head.
Feel sorry for your relative. They are still brainwashed with feeling inadequate, and will do anything to make that feeling go away. If they can convince themselves that they've finally bested you, they get a moment's peace in their inner battle.
It's not about you, really. It's about them and their family.
Also, OP, you need to ignore a good portion of the comments here.
Seriously I'd agree
I'd also point out that people act the way he was acting toward you out of their own weakness
Next time it really bothers do your best to address it in a refined...to say, calm and concise....manner.
I've been there many times and either been in your position where i was ruminating on it to my detriment or i overreacted in the moment and made myself more pain in the process
Just remember it is their weakness, that is the most important point. You will find your way and it helps to disregard other folks who try to pull you into their damaged way (whether they do so intentionally or otherwise)
I find it is often unintentional or otherwise innocent. Yes, alcohol may make people 'honest' however that 'honesty' may not be jive with reality!
Unfortunately, you and your cousin seem to have been raised in a very competitive and unhealthy atmosphere.
You should both be supportive and proud of the others accomplishments. You could both benefit from that support and closeness.
If you can have a heart to heart talk and get past this dysfunctional competition both your lives could be enhanced. Give that a try. Otherwise, I would suggest putting someone who disrespects you at arms distance, rather than continue to hang out and inflict this on each other.
Long story short our marriage counselor explained that for physicians or any field where you spend years with your nose in a book... while the rest of us are out and about in the world honing our social skills... these people fall far behind in their social skills because they're spending years not socializing like the rest of us... she also said they can never catch up to the rest of us.
Made sense to me...hope this helps
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