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Thanks for backing me up as well. Maybe people will pay better attention to it, since it's coming from a woman this time. I know, it's a double standard, but...
For the record, more than one woman here, including myself, has acknowledged that the grandparents aren't necessarily treating ANY of the grandkids OR YOU as people in this scenario, but that is not what you should worry about nor is it anything over which you have ANY sort of control.
Having children and needing a minivan is no indicator of success.
I couldn't agree more. I'd rather be what I am, than have a boring homebody-type relationship and look down on single men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
Here's a radical idea. I know, I know, it will fall on deaf ears, but I'm going to fling it out there: Consider for just a moment that you are wrong and the rest of us are right. After all, most of us have navigated the shoaling waters of relationships pretty well. Oh, sure, there's the occasional drama or dustup, for no life is without such things. But for the most part, those of us who chime in here have found love (At least once or twice), have enjoyed the fruits of a stable relationship, and don't seem to have this constant, grinding battle against venal humanity the way you do.
So while you're all worried about my driving a minivan, I'm worried about your mental health and happiness. Because, whether you realize it or not, that's why you're here. Sorry that you can't seem to understand all that.
My profound thank you for caring about me, and being so kind about it to boot. So OK, then, let me to do some soul-searching.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
Nor is it really a reason to be looked down on.
Here is the deal. Both you and Moo create one thread after another lamenting your woes in forging healthy, enduring bonds with other people, both romantic and non-romantic. In the case of Moo, this particular thread is a pretty transparent one, getting into his Way Back Machine to dredge up some minor offense from six months ago in a way to aggrandize his suave cultural superiority.
So you guys create these threads. The rest of us chime in and try to tell you how screwed-up your worldview is, from your approaches to your self-image to a host of other things. And then you proceed to tell us how wrong we all are, how we're talking down to you. You realize that the entire point of this forum is to have these kinds of discussions, right? I'd never dream of telling you things in real life, but your posting here is a de facto request for advice. And advice you get.
Then the next day, you're back with yet another thread talking about some new drama that arose because of your inability to deal effectively with people.
Here's a radical idea. I know, I know, it will fall on deaf ears, but I'm going to fling it out there: Consider for just a moment that you are wrong and the rest of us are right. After all, most of us have navigated the shoaling waters of relationships pretty well. Oh, sure, there's the occasional drama or dustup, for no life is without such things. But for the most part, those of us who chime in here have found love (At least once or twice), have enjoyed the fruits of a stable relationship, and don't seem to have this constant, grinding battle against venal humanity the way you do.
So while you're all worried about my driving a minivan, I'm worried about your mental health and happiness. Because, whether you realize it or not, that's why you're here. Sorry that you can't seem to understand all that.
I think you could care less about the mental health and happiness of anyone on this forum, especially me. I think this is just entertainment for you. I'm sure you'll argue differently but whatever. Do I deal with people in an uncoventional way? Hell yes. I know that and I'm willing to suffer the consequences for it. I don't have a need to be liked by everyone that others seem to have.
OP has made it clear he could care less about getting having a romantic relationship. I think he should be taken at face value. Reason why this thread exists in the first place. People won't take OP at face value when he says he ain't interested.
I think you could care less about the mental health and happiness of anyone on this forum, especially me. I think this is just entertainment for you. I'm sure you'll argue differently but whatever. Do I deal with people in an uncoventional way? Hell yes. I know that and I'm willing to suffer the consequences for it. I don't have a need to be liked by everyone that others seem to have.
OP has made it clear he could care less about getting having a romantic relationship. I think he should be taken at face value. Reason why this thread exists in the first place. People won't take OP at face value when he says he ain't interested.
He's not interested in a romantic relationship. We totally get that. Always have. What we all seem to take issue with is his inability to actually deal with people in a constructive way. You do remember that this thread began with a question, right? He asked if he were wrong, and we told him that he was. And, of course, his snobbery didn't help matters much. What's more, barking at elderly women in a nursing home isn't exactly a way to endear yourself to others.
I think the OP was actually shocked that the consensus was that he was clueless and self-important in his dealings with the women in question. So then he offered up one rationalization after another. And, dependably, you rushed to his side. After all, if there's any possible way to take umbrage in a given situation then, by God, you're going find it.
I mean, hey, if you really want to march through life under the banner of permanent resentment against anyone and everything, I guess that's your business. But it's an unhealthy and ultimately sad way to live and, deep down, you understand this. Otherwise, you wouldn't be coming back to this forum time after time. If you were really willing to 'suffer the consequences' for whatever worldview you've developed, whatever that means, then there wouldn't be the attraction of this forum. You'd be secure in who you are.
But it's not like you're defending some noble manifesto or something. You're essentially defending the need to be suspicious, aloof, and a first-class misanthrope, yet simultaneously can't help but wonder why you can't enjoy healthy and vibrant relationships, romantic and otherwise. Can't have it both ways.
As far as the entertainment nonsense is concerned, um, no. There are plenty of times I offer kind and supportive advice to people. Real world advice. I think the problem here with you is that your view of the world, of people, and how you deal with them is so manifestly wrong, toxic, and self-defeating that it's important to point that out. After all, once again, it's the point of this forum.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 04-20-2017 at 08:27 AM..
I think you could care less about the mental health and happiness of anyone on this forum, especially me. I think this is just entertainment for you. I'm sure you'll argue differently but whatever. Do I deal with people in an uncoventional way? Hell yes. I know that and I'm willing to suffer the consequences for it. I don't have a need to be liked by everyone that others seem to have.
OP has made it clear he could care less about getting having a romantic relationship. I think he should be taken at face value. Reason why this thread exists in the first place. People won't take OP at face value when he says he ain't interested.
BTW, "couldn't care less" is correct. If I "could care less", I would do just that.
Now, I have nothing against the building residents personally. I started off treating them with how I wanted them to treat me: with a balance of warm politeness and respectful distance. Basically, exchange greetings, "how's your day?", "how's family?", and mostly leave it at that. Maybe even exchange an idea of two: I'd tell them about a recent phone scam, and they'd share an old country recipe. But instead, they saw a "marriageable man" and immediately got ideas. That's when my line was crossed. Lucky for me, things ended up to how I wanted; I just taking stock of the weird turn of events earlier. But according to MinivanDriver, I'm supposed to marry one of the granddaughters, because she was introduced to me out of good intentions. Even if she has nothing in common with me. Right?
Like The Dissenter here, I realize that most people I meet will feel neutral about me. A few will think I'm cool, like my Meetup friends, and an equal number will take a disliking to me, like some people here. I just react accordingly or at least walk away.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 04-20-2017 at 09:10 AM..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
He's not interested in a romantic relationship. We totally get that. Always have. What we all seem to take issue with is his inability to actually deal with people in a constructive way. You do remember that this thread began with a question, right? He asked if he were wrong, and we told him that he was. And, of course, his snobbery didn't help matters much. What's more, barking at elderly women in a nursing home isn't exactly a way to endear yourself to others.
I think the OP was actually shocked that the consensus was that he was clueless and self-important in his dealings with the women in question. So then he offered up one rationalization after another. And, dependably, you rushed to his side. After all, if there's any possible way to take umbrage in a given situation then, by God, you're going find it.
I mean, hey, if you really want to march through life under the banner of permanent resentment against anyone and everything, I guess that's your business. But it's an unhealthy and ultimately sad way to live and, deep down, you understand this. Otherwise, you wouldn't be coming back to this forum time after time. If you were really willing to 'suffer the consequences' for whatever worldview you've developed, whatever that means, then there wouldn't be the attraction of this forum. You'd be secure in who you are.
But it's not like you're defending some noble manifesto or something. You're essentially defending the need to be suspicious, aloof, and a first-class misanthrope, yet simultaneously can't help but wonder why you can't enjoy healthy and vibrant relationships, romantic and otherwise. Can't have it both ways.
As far as the entertainment nonsense is concerned, um, no. There are plenty of times I offer kind and supportive advice to people. Real world advice. I think the problem here with you is that your view of the world, of people, and how you deal with them is so manifestly wrong, toxic, and self-defeating that it's important to point that out. After all, once again, it's the point of this forum.
I don't know what is with this claim that I "wonder" why I can't enjoy relationships. I don't "wonder" anything. I know perfectly damne well my approach will turn off a lot of people and I accept that. I just need to find people who are okay with a blunt reserved person. I know there aren't that many and it is insulting to my intelligence to insuinate that I "wonder" anything.
This is like a twist on Pinocchio. Pinocchio hoped he would become a real boy one day. Poor OP is faced with the unhappy situation of trying to convince little old ladies he already is a real boy.
Those who are hating on me for wanting to be seen as a real person, as opposed to having some "marriageable man" idea projected onto me, do this: google "Hot Topic employee stalker".
It talks about a nerdy guy who came to a Hot Topic store, and saw a cute employee he liked. All well and good... until he tracked down her [social media] information, and started bombarding her with messages, saying how she was a "geek girl" he's been wanting to meet. At the end, she reacted as you'd expect. I'm seeing a lot more parallels to that than to Pinocchio.
I realize there's a difference between a nerd and an elderly immigrant, but their actions are quite similar, minus the [social media].
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