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OP, it matters not how or even whether you turned down the setups. That is really not the point of most replies.
If you had read carefully, you would notice that most people here were trying to point out the flaws in your world view, in your assumptions that other people think the way you do, your thin skin and your overly sensitive reactions, and your excessive self-absorption and massive lack of self-awareness.
What you thought was the problem is not actually the problem.
jerseygal4u, wasel is right. People are upset with me because they think I was too harsh in turning down the offers. Even though I tried being sincere and polite in the beginning, and when that failed, I tried humor. With that failing too, I had to straight-out say "absolutely not". I guess people here didn't like that. Oh well, it's their right.
Then you failed to get anything out of our responses. What people took exception to was your attitude that their attempt to help was an insult, and your failure (or refusal) to see that people from different cultures are different.
You asked a question, and you don't like the fact that many of responded yes, you are wrong to feel insulted. If you don't want to hear an answer to a question, don't ask the question. Or you planned to just stir up some controversy with a provocative post because you enjoy causing people to verbally spar with each other. I suspect you wanted people to get upset with you for the lulz. Just a guess.
The irony is that OP frequently makes insulting comments about his friends that are coupled up, characterizing these couples as boring and codependent.
My marriage is nothing like that. Hell, my husband climbed a world renowned mountain and could have been killed doing it and I didn't stop him from his fun and ambition.
Being characterized with a broad brush is insulting is it not M.U.?
That said, I'm cool with people fixing me up. I have an issue with people fixing me up for the wrong reasons. Which, in this case, would be because they saw me only as husband material, to the exclusion of other traits, something I already reiterated in earlier posts. I realize that it's a cultural thing for many people, but still.
The immediate posters above are correct.
You have adopted a philosophy of life where you insist that the most casual of observers view you as a unique individual. We are all unique individuals; including those old grannies. The old grannies did you no harm with their "wrong reasons." But you've escaped to tell the tale. And tell it. And tell it.
You're very proud of this philosophy. If only your old "wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine" pals weren't such saps to fall victim to the boredom of marriage! Caught like rats in a trap by boring women! No more fun for them! But not you. You won't allow such a thing to happen because of your enlightenment. Because all marriages are alike – bad! boring! now they're controlled by these boring women – and it's an insult to be seen as "husband material" by old women.
It's not much different than someone who suddenly "gets Jesus" and won't shut up about it.
We silly people have blah-blah'ed away to no avail. We're broken records. You're a broken record.
I would never try to fix you up based on what you've told us here. Not to appease your exaggerated sense of self but to spare a poor woman grief and nonsense.
You've admitted elsewhere that you have never been "in love." If you ever do inadvertently "fall in love," then I want to hear from you. For such a breezy guy, I can't help but think there's something to this at the core.
jerseygal4u, wasel is right. People are upset with me because they think I was too harsh in turning down the offers. Even though I tried being sincere and polite in the beginning, and when that failed, I tried humor. With that failing too, I had to straight-out say "absolutely not". I guess people here didn't like that. Oh well, it's their right.
That said, I'm cool with people fixing me up. I have an issue with people fixing me up for the wrong reasons. Which, in this case, would be because they saw me only as husband material, to the exclusion of other traits, something I already reiterated in earlier posts. I realize that it's a cultural thing for many people, but still.
No, that wasn't it at all. You came here asking for opinions but you kept repeating the same arguments over and over again. You did not get what most of the responses were saying.
Looks like we are finished here with the question in the op. Thank you for your posts.
Thread is now closed
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