Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Since Bob left you the key and asked you to check he may have suspected there would be a problem with the son's caring for the cat. He needs to be told.Just the facts. Let he and his Son work it out.
My neighbors went away for three weeks. Right before they left my neighbor, let's call him 'Bob', found me in my drive way to let me know they were going that day and asked to keep an eye on the house. I reminded him that I'm a professional pet sitter and I'm very accustomed to going into lots of homes in our community and that he should feel comfortable for me checking in on his home. He asked me if I wanted a key and I said sure, it was probably a good idea. He mentioned that his son, who's about my age (mid 30's) would be caring for the cat.
I guess they left on a Thursday or Friday, but by Monday morning I still hadn't seen the son come to care for the cat. So I went into the home for the first time and discovered that the cat barely had any water left and the litter box was pretty gross. The cat had an automatic feeder and it seemed to be working. I cleaned the box and refilled the water and I sent an email that evening. I got a response the next morning and Bob had acknowledged that his son was being neglectful.. he should be coming by every other day.
Later that day I saw his son's car and for about a week he was coming by regularly, even spending the night one night. I thought that maybe there was just a miscommunication and everything was okay. Then about two days ago I stopped by just to check in and rotate the lights.. and I noticed that the cat didn't look quite right. It seemed skinnier and weak. I looked at the counter and realized that there was no water for the cat so I immediately gave it water. The cat began to drink ... and drink.. and drink.. I went upstairs and cleaned the box, I read my mail that I had carried in with me... I even just sat there on my phone browsing social media... 40 minutes later the cat is still drinking... it would only stop for a moment and then go back to the bowl, seemingly afraid that it would disappear.
Now, I have had cats all my life. I have cared for dozens of cats as a professional sitter and I had never ever seen that happen before. I don't know how long it had been since it was given water. It had a standard sized cereal bowl for water and I had left out a smaller water dish the first time I came.. both were empty...
It's evident that the son hadn't filled them in at least several days.
Obviously in that moment I realized that I have to take control of the situation and care for the cat regardless what the son is doing. So these last two days I've gone in checked the food and water levels, cleaned the box and gave kitty lots of love. There isn't much food left in the feeder so I went looking around for more.. I found some food, but it's not exactly the same and it could be dog's (I don't know where the dog is). I gave a few pieces of it to the cat and it ate it up happily...
A lot of context to get to this next part: What and when do I talk to Bob about this? I mean at this point the cat is safe and well cared... there is no urgency in messaging them again while they're on their trip. But I'm pretty angry about the situation and at some point Bob needs to understand very clearly that his son is being incompetent and negligent and really put the cat in danger and distress. But at the same time, I don't know the family dynamics at all. I don't know anything about the son other than he only moved out a few years ago and he's around my age. I don't know why he lived at home until he was well past 30. I don't if he has any developmental or behavioral issues that could have impacted his ability to care for the cat. I would feel sorta bad if I came down on him hard just to find out that he has something like ADD or autism. I don't know...
How should I handle this?
No matter if you come down to hard on him. He has a responsibility to a defenseless animal and failed.
Think about taking the cat into your home until the family returns. The son probably won't notice its gone and if he does he won't care. Less work for him. The parents would likely understand without a big explanation why you took the cat. They probably know their son well enough and won't doubt it.
It was dehydrated and has since recovered. It's behavior now is what it was the first visit and typical of a healthy cat. Much more interested in attention and food.
Well, thank God.. good you were there. It breaks my heart (some cannot seem to put themselves in the position of the animal or are not naturally pet people). Until things are concluded, you can feel up in the air about what occurred. There has been some good advice and I think you know what to do for now and to carefully discuss with the owner upon his return, as suggested. After this, they will likely count on you, (and who knows, may refer you elsewhere). The main thing is, you did the right thing and it would have been awful wondering what was going on, if you had not had a key.
I think it's probably more than that- that Son of Bob is probably not the best cat sitter around. It may be that he has a super busy job, has other activities in his life, lives out of the way, or has other obstacles (such as a cat allergy) that make SoB not an ideal cat sitter. If it isn't a one-time conflict like an illness or some other emergency, but I would suggest to Bob that if he goes away again, he hire a cat sitter.
I don't think I would report the son for animal neglect. The reality is you don't know what the relationship is between the two. Bob could have said one thing and the son could have been clear that it wasn't really going to be a good fit for him. Bob could just be cheap about hiring a cat sitter and be trying to foist the duty on you to do it for free.
I didn't suggest reporting only the son. I said if it happened again, they should all be reported, or, more accurately, that the situation should be reported. Let them work out the details with the authorities. If the son indicated that it was a "bad fit," and Bob ignored that, he is responsible. If the son promised to care for the cat and failed to do so, he is responsible. If it was a miscommunication, and nothing but that, an honest conversation about what happened should prevent a recurrence. If it happens again, it's willful abuse. I don't really care about Bob's relationship with his son. I care about the cat.
I absolutely agree that if it happens again they should be reported but not this time since there are doubts about communication. It's possible Bob told his son that by giving her the key, she would be taking care of the cat along with him. So the son thought it wasn't necessary for him so come over every day.
The OP does pet sitting for a living. You wouldn't ask a doctor to give you a free medical exam just because she lived next door to you. Unless the OP and Bob are good friends besides being neighbors, the bottom line is he asked her to "look in" on the house that just so happened to have a cat in it that was being neglected. Whether or not Bob knew his son might fall down on the job he did know that the OP would be a reliable backup. He knew she would never ignore a neglected kitty needing food and water.
One other problem might arise for her is that other neighbors might expect this free service from her since she took care of Bob's cat.
I think she should definitely tell Bob what happened. That would serve the purpose of letting him know how irresponsible his son was and shouldn't be trusted ever again to take care of the cat. Besides reporting the son, if Bob had been trying to take advantage of her kindness, that also would let him know she was on to him. She should tell Bob she would be happy to take full responsibility for the cat the next time he goes out of town clearly stating what her pet sitting fees were. Maybe she could offer him a discount because he's a neighbor.
The only flaw in this would be if Bob didn't want to pay the fee and left the cat-sitting to the son again. In that case I guess the only thing to do would be to check periodically to see if the son was coming to the house. If she didn't see that happening she could call Bob and tell him she was checking to see if everything was okay because she hadn't seen anyone going into the house for awhile.
Not meaning to sound like she should play Gladys Kravitz, but a kitty's life could be at stake here and that is the most important thing.
My neighbors went away for three weeks. Right before they left my neighbor, let's call him 'Bob', found me in my drive way to let me know they were going that day and asked to keep an eye on the house. I reminded him that I'm a professional pet sitter and I'm very accustomed to going into lots of homes in our community and that he should feel comfortable for me checking in on his home. He asked me if I wanted a key and I said sure, it was probably a good idea. He mentioned that his son, who's about my age (mid 30's) would be caring for the cat.
I guess they left on a Thursday or Friday, but by Monday morning I still hadn't seen the son come to care for the cat. So I went into the home for the first time and discovered that the cat barely had any water left and the litter box was pretty gross. The cat had an automatic feeder and it seemed to be working. I cleaned the box and refilled the water and I sent an email that evening. I got a response the next morning and Bob had acknowledged that his son was being neglectful.. he should be coming by every other day.
Later that day I saw his son's car and for about a week he was coming by regularly, even spending the night one night. I thought that maybe there was just a miscommunication and everything was okay. Then about two days ago I stopped by just to check in and rotate the lights.. and I noticed that the cat didn't look quite right. It seemed skinnier and weak. I looked at the counter and realized that there was no water for the cat so I immediately gave it water. The cat began to drink ... and drink.. and drink.. I went upstairs and cleaned the box, I read my mail that I had carried in with me... I even just sat there on my phone browsing social media... 40 minutes later the cat is still drinking... it would only stop for a moment and then go back to the bowl, seemingly afraid that it would disappear.
Now, I have had cats all my life. I have cared for dozens of cats as a professional sitter and I had never ever seen that happen before. I don't know how long it had been since it was given water. It had a standard sized cereal bowl for water and I had left out a smaller water dish the first time I came.. both were empty...
It's evident that the son hadn't filled them in at least several days.
Obviously in that moment I realized that I have to take control of the situation and care for the cat regardless what the son is doing. So these last two days I've gone in checked the food and water levels, cleaned the box and gave kitty lots of love. There isn't much food left in the feeder so I went looking around for more.. I found some food, but it's not exactly the same and it could be dog's (I don't know where the dog is). I gave a few pieces of it to the cat and it ate it up happily...
A lot of context to get to this next part: What and when do I talk to Bob about this? I mean at this point the cat is safe and well cared... there is no urgency in messaging them again while they're on their trip. But I'm pretty angry about the situation and at some point Bob needs to understand very clearly that his son is being incompetent and negligent and really put the cat in danger and distress. But at the same time, I don't know the family dynamics at all. I don't know anything about the son other than he only moved out a few years ago and he's around my age. I don't know why he lived at home until he was well past 30. I don't if he has any developmental or behavioral issues that could have impacted his ability to care for the cat. I would feel sorta bad if I came down on him hard just to find out that he has something like ADD or autism. I don't know...
How should I handle this?
When they get home and you are returning the key, tell them everything you just said on here, minus the part at the end about your unfamiliarity with their family dynamics. Only speak on the part where you saw his car, thought he was caring for the cat, realized the cat was not cared for AT ALL, etc. Then let them deal with it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm so glad Bob gave you a key and you checked up on it.
