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Yes, I've done laundry at my mom's house, both during a visit and before I leave for various reasons. I'm sure she's even swapped loads at some point. I would be horrified to find out that she or my stepdad felt trampled upon because we used an appliance at their house. But I also know that would never happen because they're my parents and love hosting us.
Because they live pretty far away, we spend a lot of time there at once and use a lot of our vacation time to do so. That way they don't have to travel to us ever. At one point they actually told us they were feeling run down with so many days at their house even though they liked having us, and now we always plan to take a few days away from their house mid-trip to go elsewhere vacationing or to see other family. We love that way more than we though we would, and they love it too. They get a few days to rest up in the middle.
I think this is a roundabout way of saying that we do many of the things that annoy the OP, except there's not an issue at all. When we have had issues (balancing food prep tasks, etc) we communicate directly about them to find something that is good for everyone, so they can have the most time possible to see us and the grandkids and we can see them. But getting resentful about something you've never communicated doesn't seem like a good way to solve the problem. Heck, yanking the breaker for the W/D at noon every day would be a better method than quietly seething about this.
its not just any guy - its her step son and his family. They should probably have a more open relationship where they can talk about these kinds of things.
Just to be clear, I've known him since he was 3 years old-now 36. Husband has "divorce guilt" so I can't say anything negative about them. Things changed when we moved out of state 18 years ago. These are nice kids, but he is rather sneaky and like other posters have pointed out to me, a freeloader. So after reading all these posts for and against, I think the laundry is just the icing on the cake for his cheapness. He does all their clothes the day they leave, not to have something to wear. Okay, I get it, big deal. It's just the one thing out of many, many things that just irks me. I wasn't raised to be a freeloader or cheap. Plus I'm all alone in it and I can't say anything about what they say or do because I will be the *****. So I've learned to just take it and try very hard to not say anything. My choice.
So is it about the laundry? Yes and no. I am gearing up for another visit and I thought I would get some feedback about it on this forum. I still think it's strange and he's just cheap!
To Clemencia53-there's just no way I can talk about it. He would probably play the victim and I would be the bad guy.
Well you keep vacillating between "he does his laundry" and "I do his laundry." The former is relatively normal. The latter is not. If he's doing his own laundry, consider it one less thing for you to have to worry about.
Just to be clear, I've known him since he was 3 years old-now 36. Husband has "divorce guilt" so I can't say anything negative about them. Things changed when we moved out of state 18 years ago. These are nice kids, but he is rather sneaky and like other posters have pointed out to me, a freeloader. So after reading all these posts for and against, I think the laundry is just the icing on the cake for his cheapness. He does all their clothes the day they leave, not to have something to wear. Okay, I get it, big deal. It's just the one thing out of many, many things that just irks me. I wasn't raised to be a freeloader or cheap. Plus I'm all alone in it and I can't say anything about what they say or do because I will be the *****. So I've learned to just take it and try very hard to not say anything. My choice.
So is it about the laundry? Yes and no. I am gearing up for another visit and I thought I would get some feedback about it on this forum. I still think it's strange and he's just cheap!
To Clemencia53-there's just no way I can talk about it. He would probably play the victim and I would be the bad guy.
How old is your washer and dryer that you think he's being cheap? Our washer is less than $1 a month in electricity and the dryer is about $10 a month in electricity based on the labels. Do you really want him to give you a dollar for doing a couple of loads of laundry? That is baffling to me.
Maybe he's just taking advantage of the fact that he's off work and has some extra time, instead of having to find the time to do laundry after spending travel time getting home, then having to worry about unpacking and doing laundry vs. getting home and being able to unpack clean folded clothes directly into drawers and closets and having the extra time to get caught up on all the things that need taken care of when you get back home after being away.
However, it appears that the reality is that you have decided this is weird and you are going to disapprove no matter what benign explanations people give.
Actually poor people do have limited options when it comes to spending money, especially on things that are not necessities. I believe that a vacation counts.
And staying with family and using their utilities so that they do not have to use their own? That's freeloading especially when you add in all of the other behavior mentioned by the OP.
I don't consider the extra day a vacation day so it is not wasted by doing laundry. It is a day to get back into the swing of things so that the rest of my week runs smoothly.
LOL. You didn't think you would have to explain this, why?
So poor people should never have a vacation because, oh yeah, they are poor. Shame on them for working hard and actually needing the EXACT same break that those rich people need.
Not freeloading when you stay with family. If the family is so cheap that they can't allow a son and his family to do laundry before they leave, then maybe they shouldn't allow those "freeloaders" to come stay with them. Great way to keep family close and loving, huh?
You might not think the extra day of vacation as wasted time. You might get a lot more vacation than the average worker. Many, if not most, only get two weeks a year, at least to start. So if you take an extra day, you've lost the opportunity to take another one week vacation that year. Of course, if you are poor, apparently you shouldn't be taking a vacation anyways...
LOL. You didn't think you would have to explain this, why?
So poor people should never have a vacation because, oh yeah, they are poor. Shame on them for working hard and actually needing the EXACT same break that those rich people need.
Not freeloading when you stay with family. If the family is so cheap that they can't allow a son and his family to do laundry before they leave, then maybe they shouldn't allow those "freeloaders" to come stay with them. Great way to keep family close and loving, huh?
You might not think the extra day of vacation as wasted time. You might get a lot more vacation than the average worker. Many, if not most, only get two weeks a year, at least to start. So if you take an extra day, you've lost the opportunity to take another one week vacation that year. Of course, if you are poor, apparently you shouldn't be taking a vacation anyways...
And it's not like the person described by the OP took his family to Disneyworld or on a cruise. They're visiting family for chrissake, which is a privilege reserved for the well-off or something.
OP, It is weird!!! He's married right? Tell him next time, your washer is broke and his wife can wash his clothes when he gets home!
or he can wash his own...
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or he can wash his own...
