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Am I correct that dad is flying with his 2 kids and mom was not on this trip.
Maybe he packed light to avoid extra luggage fees and needed to wash a few things for the trip home.
OP, do you have biological kids ?? Would you be bent out of shape if your kids asked to use the
washer-dryer??
If a step son cannot come see his dad and use the washer then you have issues that
go way beyond that ..
Your husband probably doesn't want to hear about your gripping because he would love to have his kid visit
and not have you act like it is such an imposition.
I have a step son who is now 24 years old, and I entered his life when he was 11, not 3 like the OP's step son.
I can't imagine being bent out of shape if he asked to use our washer and dryer during a visit. However, I would be a bit put out if he expected me to actually wash and fold and otherwise "handle" his laundry - just like I'd be a bit put out if my own adult kids expected that of me. Or any adult house guest for that matter.
Here is the washer and dryer and detergent and dryer sheets. Have at it. Holler if you have any questions. Oh, and here's the iron and ironing board too, in case you need those.
Why is this so difficult? As for "peak times," here's how I feel about that:
We are on that type of plan as well. However, when we have guests, it's just not that big a deal if their washing ends up costing me $5 more that month - if that. If it's someone with several loads of clothes (like my daughters with their four kids each), I may say, "Hey, how 'bout doing that laundry in the evening," but how difficult is that? Answer: Not at all difficult.
Wow. I am going to go home and thank all my friends and family for being so ahead of the curve.
I can't imagine a parent, even a step parent, being annoyed at an adult child wanting to do a load or several loads of their own laundry. My parents and even my grandparents have always told us "our home is your home" and did not draw some arbitrary line at the laundry room. And because it is "our home" for the duration of our stay, we buy our own snacks, do dishes, even cook a meal here and there, and I always wash our bedding on the last day and leave it folded on the bed.
Family visits are always less about hosting and more about visiting. I would wonder if there is a correlation between those with poor family relationships and issues with their family as "guests". Because I know visiting is one of the best ways for families to remain close even when the children are adults.
Am I correct that dad is flying with his 2 kids and mom was not on this trip.
Maybe he packed light to avoid extra luggage fees and needed to wash a few things for the trip home.
OP, do you have biological kids ?? Would you be bent out of shape if your kids asked to use the
washer-dryer??
If a step son cannot come see his dad and use the washer then you have issues that
go way beyond that ..
Your husband probably doesn't want to hear about your gripping because he would love to have his kid visit
and not have you act like it is such an imposition.
I think the wife was there too, but good question.
She mentioned a 12 year old daughter she has with the father of the step-son.
This is a family member who is 36, married, good job, 2 kids under 5. Whenever he visits he asks to use the washer/dryer on the day they leave. I have never had anyone, relative or friend, ask to use our washer and dryer to do their clothes.
Honestly, it really bugs me. I do enjoy their visits, but seriously, I already have to cook and clean up after them, plus change the sheets and towels and wash them, so I have to do their laundry too? To be clear, I plan for their visit and create daily menus, have their beverages on hand, what the kids like to eat etc. I just don't get this quirk of doing their laundry before they leave. They have their own house with a washer/dryer and his wife doesn't work so ???
Am I wrong to feel this way?
I am going against the crowd here.
I would never ask the host who is so nice to let me and my whole family stay at their place about laundry.
Why not take the dirty laundry home and wash at home? Why use up more of the hosts water/electricity as necessary? I am saving $$$$ on staying at a hotel and need to use up even more of their generousity?
I have a step son who is now 24 years old, and I entered his life when he was 11, not 3 like the OP's step son.
I can't imagine being bent out of shape if he asked to use our washer and dryer during a visit. However, I would be a bit put out if he expected me to actually wash and fold and otherwise "handle" his laundry - just like I'd be a bit put out if my own adult kids expected that of me. Or any adult house guest for that matter.
Here is the washer and dryer and detergent and dryer sheets. Have at it. Holler if you have any questions. Oh, and here's the iron and ironing board too, in case you need those.
Why is this so difficult? As for "peak times," here's how I feel about that:
We are on that type of plan as well. However, when we have guests, it's just not that big a deal if their washing ends up costing me $5 more that month - if that. If it's someone with several loads of clothes (like my daughters with their four kids each), I may say, "Hey, how 'bout doing that laundry in the evening," but how difficult is that? Answer: Not at all difficult.
She said she started the machine. Now if he asked her to do that, didn't mention it. She did say it was because they do not have the same machine. Now how would she know that unless she asked?
I have a sibling that lets no one touch her washer and dryer because she is afraid that they will break it.
But then that means she has to do everyone's clothes. And then gets mad cuz people don't take things out of their pockets like cell phones.....
We each do our own around here, but if for some reason I throw in the other half's pants in the mix, I check the pockets - only common sense after you learn the hard way
This is a family member who is 36, married, good job, 2 kids under 5. Whenever he visits he asks to use the washer/dryer on the day they leave. I have never had anyone, relative or friend, ask to use our washer and dryer to do their clothes.
Honestly, it really bugs me. I do enjoy their visits, but seriously, I already have to cook and clean up after them, plus change the sheets and towels and wash them, so I have to do their laundry too? To be clear, I plan for their visit and create daily menus, have their beverages on hand, what the kids like to eat etc. I just don't get this quirk of doing their laundry before they leave. They have their own house with a washer/dryer and his wife doesn't work so ???
Am I wrong to feel this way?
I do this all the time when I visit my parents or my sister's family. I always do laundry the night before we leave and pack a suitcase full of fresh, clean clothes. It enables me to go home and simply unpack my suitcase versus coming home and immediately going back into the "real world" by having to do laundry as soon as I'm home! Ever since I started doing this, my returns home have been much more peaceful and relaxing (which was normally the whole reason for the trip in the first place - peace and relaxation).
I do not do this when I am visiting FRIENDS. Only family. But with both friends and family, on the last morning, I strip whatever beds we used as well as gathering all the towels we used and volunteer to start the first load of laundry before we hit the road.
My parents and sister's family does it at our house as well, for much the same reasons as me.
She said she started the machine. Now if he asked her to do that, didn't mention it. She did say it was because they do not have the same machine. Now how would she know that unless she asked
I was wondering if the OP is the one thinking her stepson wouldnt be able to work their washer and dryer. My dad was weird about their washer when they first got a new front loading one. Yeah, it was a bit more involved then a basic top loader, but it wasn't as difficult as he made it out to be. I might habe needed an explanation the first time using it, but after that I could figure things out on my own.
Since it doesn't sound like the OP and her stepson have the best relationship, it might just be easier for the stepson to let her turn on the washer then getting into an argument over his ability to use a washing machine.
I was wondering if the OP is the one thinking her stepson wouldnt be able to work their washer and dryer...
The OP's story keeps changing between her stepson does the laundry or SHE ends up doing it, so who knows what's really going on. As the OP eventually admitted herself, there are much deeper issues at work here and the laundry is just a proxy battle in the bigger war of... well, whatever the war is about. Sounds like some typical step-parent/step-child dynamics and resentments and all that.
If it were at my beach house and it were our last day too, I would say "no" because I'd have the laundry tied up washing all the sheets and towels before I need to leave. If it were at my regular home, I guess I'd be OK with it, but I would much rather my guests get up, eat breakfast and get on the road. Nothing worse than a lingering guest.
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